My gluten-free Christmas wish list


Ah…another holiday season is upon us. Yeah…I know it’s late to be making a Christmas wish list. But I spoke to Santa directly (via Skype actually) and he said if I get my list in by the 24th, we’re cool. He also said I’ve been a good Dude this year; well at least all of my naughty stuff was kept behind closed doors. So basically…I’m in.

So Santa…here is my gluten free wish list. Thanks in advance. I will leave a homemade gluten-free cookie and instead of a glass of milk, will leave you a gluten-free Fat Randy IPA. Cheers my friend.

I wish for another wonderful year with Mrs. Dude.

I wish Udi’s would finally stop ripping off the celiac community.

I wish to work smarter this year and not harder.

I wish for my app to reach more people.

I wish for all “gluten-removed” beers to stop being called “gluten-free.”

I wish for the gluten jokes to cease and desist.

I wish for peace and serenity for my in-laws, who truly deserve it.

I wish for one year without a health scare.

I wish I would spend more time reading and less time on social media.

I wish for celiac disease to get the recognition and respect it deserves.

I wish for a year of joy for my wonderful Dudettes.

I wish the Celiac Disease Foundation would remove their logo from every box of Cheerios.

I wish for more energy that lasts through the day.

I wish I didn’t have that second bowl of pasta last night.

I wish gluten-free influencers whose main focus is money would just go away.

I wish for less chaos in the world. We live in crazy times right now.

I wish for a healthy back.

I wish for a healthy front.

I wish for another year of bonding with the celiac community.

I wish billionaires weren’t such a**holes.

I wish you were here (shout out to Pink Floyd.)

I wish I knew whether the period above goes inside or outside the parenthesis.

I wish for my guitar not to collect so much dust between the times I pick it up.

I wish for more compassion, empathy and understanding and a lot less anger and divisiveness, no matter what side of the political aisle you sit on.

I wish for the Kardashians to live the rest of their lives in seclusion, where there is absolutely no connection with the outside world.

I wish the same thing for the Real Housewives of wherever.

I wish for Ozzy (my puppy) to live as long as I do.

I wish I didn’t have to use 3 remote controls to change the channel.

I wish for every gluten-free restaurant out there a hugely successful year.

I wish I could redo my teen years and fix all of the mistakes I made.

I wish for you all to have the happiest and healthiest of holidays. I so appreciate each and every one of you and may all of your gluten-free wishes come true.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Take it away Bruce…

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12 thoughts on “My gluten-free Christmas wish list”

  1. I may opt into your list for my Christmas wishes with a few minor changes. For instance, my girl is Patty not Ozzy. I wish that you and your family have a marvelous gluten free Christmas and the healthiest of new years.


  2. As a professional copy editor, I can grant one of your wishes: The period goes outside the closing parenthesis. I empathize with the rest and, as a fellow Bruceophile (?), thank you for that closing video and for all you do on our behalf all year, every year. You prove it all night and all day! ❤️

    1. Another decades long Bruce fan – I appreciate that in the Dude and many of us here!
      Great List, Dude – Happy GF New Year, y’all!

  3. I have a new wish to add.

    I wish anemia were treated more seriously and not with Ferrous Sulfate. I have been anemic since I was around 19 years old and I never knew why. (Hmm, Celiac much?) I started to get more serious about treating it recently and realized anxiety really reduces when you take the right Iron supplement. For me that’s Ferrous Fumarate, but there are other new Iron supplements now. They don’t make you sick to your stomach and give you nausea like they used to. NovaFerrum is another one. Can’t think of the name of the other. Something with glycinate. Bis-glycinate? Anyway, there are options now.

    So that’s my wish. Don’t just assume anemia will magically fix itself, take some active steps.

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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