My gluten-free Christmas wish list

Ah…another holiday season is upon us. Yeah…I know it’s late to be making a Christmas wish list. But I spoke to Santa directly (via Skype actually) and he said if I get my list in by the 24th, we’re cool. He also said I’ve been a good Dude this year; well at least all of my naughty stuff was kept behind closed doors. So basically…I’m in.

So Santa…here is my gluten free wish list. Thanks in advance. I will leave a homemade gluten-free cookie and instead of a glass of milk, will leave you a gluten-free Fat Randy IPA. Cheers my friend.

I wish for another wonderful year with Mrs. Dude.

I wish Udi’s would finally stop ripping off the celiac community.

I wish to work smarter this year and not harder.

I wish for my app to reach more people.

I wish for all “gluten-removed” beers to stop being called “gluten-free.”

I wish for the gluten jokes to cease and desist.

I wish for peace and serenity for my in-laws, who truly deserve it.

I wish for one year without a health scare.

I wish I would spend more time reading and less time on social media.

I wish for celiac disease to get the recognition and respect it deserves.

I wish for a year of joy for my wonderful Dudettes.

I wish the Celiac Disease Foundation would remove their logo from every box of Cheerios.

I wish for more energy that lasts through the day.

I wish I didn’t have that second bowl of pasta last night.

I wish gluten-free influencers whose main focus is money would just go away.

I wish for less chaos in the world. We live in crazy times right now.

I wish for a healthy back.

I wish for a healthy front.

I wish for another year of bonding with the celiac community.

I wish billionaires weren’t such a**holes.

I wish you were here (shout out to Pink Floyd.)

I wish I knew whether the period above goes inside or outside the parenthesis.

I wish for my guitar not to collect so much dust between the times I pick it up.

I wish for more compassion, empathy and understanding and a lot less anger and divisiveness, no matter what side of the political aisle you sit on.

I wish for the Kardashians to live the rest of their lives in seclusion, where there is absolutely no connection with the outside world.

I wish the same thing for the Real Housewives of wherever.

I wish for Ozzy (my puppy) to live as long as I do.

I wish I didn’t have to use 3 remote controls to change the channel.

I wish for every gluten-free restaurant out there a hugely successful year.

I wish I could redo my teen years and fix all of the mistakes I made.

I wish for you all to have the happiest and healthiest of holidays. I so appreciate each and every one of you and may all of your gluten-free wishes come true.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Take it away Bruce…