My 47 Gluten-Free Birthday Wishes

gluten free birthday

The Gluten Dude turns 47 today.

How the hell did that happen??

It’s just a number…it’s just a number…it’s just a number.

That’s my mantra for the day.

As I blow the candles out on my sushi tonight, here is what I’ll be wishing for.

Oh…and if you’ve got two minutes, watch the above video. It’s fascinating, weird, interesting, funny and bizarre all wrapped up into one.

——————————————

1. I wish I was turning 37.

2. Ok fine…I wish I was turning 27.

3. I wish I could celebrate tonight with all the celiacs I’ve connected with the past 6 months.

4. I wish Sassy would find healing. She deserves it.

5. I wish Dogfish Head’s gluten-free beer wasn’t raspberry flavored.

6. I wish Domino’s “gluten-free pizza” wasn’t such a half-assed effort.

7. I wish the Kardashians would just go away. Far, far away.

8. I wish I didn’t have to toast or nuke gluten-free bread to enjoy it.

9. I wish my iPad had better wifi.

10. I wish life was just a tad easier.

11. I wish that our political system wasn’t so broken.

12. I wish there were no such thing as war.

13. I wish my Dad took better care of himself and was still around.

14. I wish summer lasted six months.

15. I wish I could go back to high school with the knowledge and confidence I have now.

16. I wish I wasn’t so shy as a kid.

17. I wish Inspired RD success and safety in her trip to Ethiopia.

18. I wish the Rangers won the Stanley Cup.

19. I wish the Knicks would stop sucking so bad.

20. I wish people understood celiac more.

21. I wish Amy’s would use a dedicated gluten-free facility.

22. I wish our gluten-free food was “easily” tax deductible.

23. I wish I didn’t have that second drink last night.

24. I wish I didn’t have that third drink last night.

25. I wish I could work less and play more.

26. I wish Caddyshack never made a second movie.

27. I wish Rocky never made a fourth, fifth or sixth movie.

28. I wish the internet was invented when I was a kid.

29. I wish I could text half as fast as my kids.

30. I wish my dog didn’t pee on the rug last night.

31. I wish this list wasn’t taking me so damn long to write.

32. I wish I punched Mike Perry in the face at least once (long story).

33. I wish I could fly.

34. I wish I didn’t hate to fly.

35. I wish Chef Kate could come live with us.

36. I wish I would stop having dreams that I’m best friends with the cast of “Friends” (or at least someone could at least analyze wtf this dream even means).

37. I wish I could play my guitar 30 minutes a day so I could at least play something that resembled music.

38. I wish I started going to the gym regularly at age 22 instead of 32.

39. I wish I remembered to bring the garbage down to the curb last night (they’re outside my house right now).

40. I wish gluten-free meant 100% gluten-free.

41. I wish Gluten Relief could be pulled from the market and Jason could see the light.

42. I wish I didn’t have to talk about food so much.

43. I wish Mrs. Dude knew how much I love and appreciate her.

44. I wish the Dudette’s a life of adventure and happiness.

45. I wish I could personally thank each and every one of you for sharing your gluten-free journey on my blog and being a part of mine.

46. I wish you all a fantastic day.

And finally….

47. I wish I didn’t have celiac disease. (But I accept it as part of my path.)

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39 thoughts on “My 47 Gluten-Free Birthday Wishes”

  1. I love this!!!! You are an amazing person and I feel blessed that you are my best friend, husband and father of my children! Now get OUT of your office, IT”S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
    *<:o)

  2. Happy Happy Birthday!!! Hope that at least 90% of those wishes come true… Thanks for writing your blog and giving us some of our sanity back knowing we’re not alone…

  3. I love your sense of humor! Very entertaining list of wishes. Happy Birthday.
    And Dude, when I get my recipe blog going here soon, I will introduce you to super easy to make, very yummy gluten-free bread that you don’t have to toast or warm up to enjoy! 🙂

  4. Lol! Loved your list of wishes. Happy Birthday Glutendude! Now for the math question at the end to send this. Hope I get it right with this fog brain. Lmbo!

  5. Happy Birthday Dude!! Thank you for always giving us the gift of laughter. Keep at it; wishes & dreams do come true!

  6. GD,

    Except for the ones where you age backwards, (because I don’t think those are likely to happen,unless we find Mr. Peabody and the way-back machine) I hope ALL your wishes come true.

    I usually tell the people in my life this same thing every year on their birthdays, so I’ll tell you too:

    I am glad you were born.

    Slainte, kiddo!

    IH

    I wish I had l punched Dr. R, Dr. G, Dr. S and an especially snarky NP right in the face…but that’s a long story too. 🙂

  7. Miss Dee Meanor

    Just for reference, New Planet Gluten-Free Beer in the Tread Lightly Ale flavor tastes as close to real beer as I’ve had (so far). They have two other flavors, but I don’t like them at all. As I said in a comment yesterday, alcohol puts me in a little corner of hell, but hey….IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!! Celebrate it like a Rock Star! Happy Birthday, G-Dude!

    http://newplanetbeer.com/

  8. It would be great to go to a birthday party where I could eat the cake. 47 is the new 37. Happy birthday!

    1. Miss Dee Meanor

      @ Donna…Amen!! “Let them eat Udi’s” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. I miss real pie crust, red velvet cake, and fruit cobblers.:)

      1. But you guys do not have to miss anything!

        Use The Bronski’s flaky pie crust recipe from Artisinal Gluten Free Baking!

        cobbler ?
        http://blog.julesglutenfree.com/2011/04/any-fruit-cobbler/

        http://blog.foodnetwork.com/healthyeats/2011/05/13/gluten-free-rhubarb-cobbler/

        crisps

        http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2006/06/summer-blueberry-crisp.html

        Use King Arthur GF Cake mixes.

        there are ways to enjoy desserts again, I promise you!

        There are DOZENS of fantastic bloggers who create all these goodies and they are delicious!!

  9. Dude, Ladies, Everyone–please, make this EASY cake and
    tell me it’s NOT a slice of heaven!!

    Flourless Chocolate Cake

    CAKE:

    1 cup (6 ounces) chopped semisweet chocolate or chocolate chips( I use ENJOY LIFE chips)
    1 stick unsalted butter
    3/4 cup granulated sugar
    1/8 teaspoon salt
    1/ 2 teaspoon vanilla
    3 large eggs, beaten
    1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder(Hershey’s is fine)

    GLAZE:
    1 cup chopped semisweet chocolate or chocolate chips
    1/2 cup heavy cream

    TOPPING: (optional)
    1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted in a 350°F oven till golden brown, about 10 minutes

    Preheat the oven to 375°F.
    Lightly grease an 8″ round cake pan; cut a piece of parchment or waxed paper to fit, grease it, and lay it in the bottom of the pan. 

    TO MAKE THE CAKE: 
    (1) Put the chocolate and butter in a microwave-safe bowl, and heat till the butter is melted and the chips are soft. Stir until the chips melt, reheating briefly if necessary. Transfer the melted chocolate/butter to a mixing bowl. 

    (2) Add the sugar, salt, and vanilla.

    (3) Add the eggs, beating briefly until smooth.

    (4) Add the cocoa powder, and mix just to combine. 

    (5) Spoon the batter into the prepared pan.
    Bake the cake for 25 minutes; the top will have formed a thin crust. Remove it from the oven, and cool it in the pan for 5 minutes. Loosen the edges of the pan with a sharp knife or nylon spreader, and turn it out onto a serving plate. The top will now be on the bottom; that’s fine. Also, the edges will crumble a bit, which is also fine. Allow the cake to cool completely before glazing. 

    TO PREPARE THE GLAZE: 

    (1) Combine the chocolate and cream in a microwave-safe bowl, and heat till the cream is very hot, but not simmering.

    (2) Remove from the microwave, and stir till the chocolate melts and the mixture is completely smooth. 

    Spoon the glaze over the cake, and spreading it to drip over the sides. Allow the glaze to set for several hours before serving the cake. 

    This cake is ultra-rich and a small serving is sufficient. But you can serve with a dollop of fresh whipped cream and strawberries or raspberries if you wish.

  10. As I have succumbed to lying down for now because the pain is really bothering me, I am glad I brought my iPhone and decided to check my Twitter Feed. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mr. Dude! And I am honored and fighting back tears over your wish for me 🙂 Some of the other wishes got me going, too. Coincidentally, 4 is my favorite number! I appreciate your generosity and kindness on this day which should be all about YOU! Thank you, friend, and enjoy your sushi 😉

  11. Happy Birthday Gluden Dude! I love your sense of humor, and wish you felt better. Yesterday’s post made me laugh out loud, my husband was like, what’s so funny. I wake up every day not knowing how I’m going to feel, is this a good day, or a so-so day or a bad day. I think for me it is b/c I went so many years without a diagnosis and I feel I am allergic to myself most of the time.

    I love your wish list; hope you feel ok today.

    P.S. I went the “no alcohol” route for over 2 weeks and did not feel any different, but I do think it is worth doing, just so you can say you did ii.
    🙂

    Irish Heart, thanks for taking the time to write out that recipe! I’m going to a party tomorrow and I know there will nothing there I can eat, I may make this cake!

    1. would anyone like to correct my mistakes? not cocktail time yet in aloha land got another 9 hours to go!

    2. Aloha, girl!!

      Julie, If you do not like this cake, I will eat my laptop.

      A friend turned me on to it and it is adapted from the King Arthur website (we should always give “props” where they are due) 🙂

      Cheers,
      IH

  12. Happy Birthday Dude! And many, many more.

    I’ll say a wish and a prayer for you and everyone here to be pain free and to find a cure.

    Enjoy life today and always!

  13. Happy Birthday, Gluten Dude! May all your wishes come true except #27 because Rocky IV is the gift that keeps on giving. The soundtrack, Dolph Lundgren’s blank affect, the training montages. C’mon! 🙂

  14. Happy Happy Birthday Gluten Dude!!! The video was hilarious! I hope you and the Dude Family do something special and fun for your big day!

    Here’s a birthday song for you in German:

    Wir freuhen uns das du geboren bist und hast Geburtstag heut!

    Man hat dich lieb und schenkt dir viel zum Essen und zum frohen Spiel!

    Wir freuhen uns das du geboren bist und hast Geburstag heut!!

    Translation:

    We’re happy that you were born today, and that today is your birthday, may you be loved, and have plenty to eat and to enjoy, we’re happy that you were born today, and that today is your birthday.

  15. Hope you had a wonderful day, Dude. And that you aren’t too hung over this morning!

    I have found one commercially prepared gluten free bread that you can eat without heating… Katz Gluten Free Challah bread. I don’t know if you can tolerate all the ingredients, but it is soft, holds together well enough to spread with peanut butter, and doesn’t need toasting or nuking to be edible.

    Hope you will have a wonderful year. (You sweet young thing, you!)

  16. The Gluten Dude

    Thanks to everyone for your birthday wishes. Had a great weekend escape to the beach. Back to reality.

  17. But the weekend at the beach IS your reality, TOO, Dude! 🙂

    Whatever you are doing at any given moment, is your “reality”.

    Glad you had fun! so, keep having fun, no matter where you are.

    at the beach, at home, at work, on the road…at the DMV (no, that’s probably a bad example….) HA!

    what I mean is…what made it better at the beach? well, then, do THAT every day.

    Hugs and blessings, IH

  18. I’d like to take credit for this bit of wisdom, but this one came from the Hubs.

    When I met him, I was in chaos and he took me for an escape weekend to NYC. I was the happiest I had been in a long time and on the way back home, I lamented that I was so bummed that I “had to go back to reality”.

    And he said “But, this is your reality, too. At any given moment.”

    I found him more relaxed, patient, wise and witty than anyone I had ever met and he impressed me with that thought ( and a bunch of other cool things he can do) 🙂

    GD, Find out what’s keeping you from feeling 100% and have a great NEW birthday YEAR.

  19. Dude happy birthday! I gotta say Rock 4 & 6 were actually good, but tomato/tomatoe.

    Hope your wishes come true and you celebrate 47 more healthy years!!!

  20. I wish I had not missed that it was your birthday on Friday!!

    Thanks for sharing your journey with us and happy late birthday!

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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