Don't Fear the Beer!

Pyro Gluten Free Beer

Let me be clear.
I really like beer.
In 2008, I truly did fear
A life without beer.

Red Bridge was here.
But it wasn’t good beer.
Bards then drew near.
One taste and…oh dear.

Then a whisper in my ear
New Planet tastes like beer.”
What did I just hear?
Was it really sincere?

“A true gluten free beer!!”
I let out a cheer.
I shed a big tear
Then swung on my chandelier.

Then Harvester Brewing Beer
Found its way here.
Who created this beer?
A gluten free beer engineer?

Glutenberg then appeared.
After I paid the cashier.
I said “It’s a new frontier”
“In gluten free beer.”

Omission, being quite cavalier,
Calls themselves gluten free beer.
If I were you, I’d steer clear
Of this gluten REMOVED beer.

Same for Daura beer.
I wish they’d both disappear.
They’re not gluten free beers.
And they can both kiss my rear.

Last week a new beer
Suddenly appeared.
It was gluten FREE beer.
To drink it I volunteered.

Now let me be clear
And I’m being sincere.
Pyro is the beer of the year
For gluten free beers.

They are another pioneer
In gluten free beer.
I could make a career
From drinking their beer.

This beer should be revered
Just like Britney Spears
In her glory years
(Before she grabbed the shears).

The bottom line here
Is don’t fear the beer.
Real gluten free beer is here
And to that…I SAY CHEERS!

great gluten free beer

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27 thoughts on “Don't Fear the Beer!”

        1. But they ARE in North Dakota. This is great! We are usually the last to get anything. Must be because we are a modern day boom town… BEER PLEASE!

  1. That brewery is in St. Paul! We went there on the weekend that they opened. Their facility is fantastic and they have a great story.

    We have their beer in our fridge now. My husband likes it. I’m not a huge fan, but I’m not really a “beer” person. Give me a cider any day. We also have a cider brewery in NE Minneapolis.

    Thanks for featuring a truly local company that’s doing great things.

  2. Now it seems that several brewers have crafted some pretty good gluten free beers. Now they need to solve their distribution issues. I can tell you that 99% of the time I go to a bar or restaurant the only gluten free beer they carry is Omission.

    The first couple months after my diagnosis I drank Omission beer without issue. I became paranoid about consuming it after reading several of your blog posts. Still question how the ppm test doesn’t seem to matter for Omission even though it test lower than some certified products. Anyways, I’d sure like to have more options when I dine out with the family.

    1. I have a couple of issues with the Omissions of the world:

      1) The celiac science community is not convinced of their methods of removing the gluten. Until it gets the backing from the big wigs in the community, I’m not chancing it.

      2) It is now obvious that you don’t NEED gluten to make a great beer. And I think it sucks that they use gluten and are allowed to call it a gluten free beer.

  3. GD-

    You are such a tease. My first thought was I am going right after work and find me some Pyro. #@&!!

    Love you still (just a little less.)
    Jersey Girl
    Woody: Hey Mr. Peterson there’s a cold one waitin’ for ya.
    Norm: I know, and if she calls I’m not here.

  4. Glad to hear I’m not the only one who doesn’t care for Bard’s. Tasted like formaldehyde to me. I do appreciate that it is truly gluten free though.

    I’m still itching to try Harvester too, but it’s hard to find and I live close to a major city. We as a community must work to improve distribution. Well….after we get a drug labeling law passed and the medical community to take us seriously. That shouldn’t take too long, right? 😉

    Happy Friday all!

  5. I need to find a new beer. The last couple times I drank New Grist it made me sick-yes celiac symptoms. I’m sure this beer isn’t available where i live though.

  6. Looked at their website– looks like they have the right attitude about the problem. And when one of the founders has celiac disease, you can be pretty sure they’re serious about it.

    I see from their map it’s available in stores around Milwaukee, so I’m hoping it comes to the Chicago area pretty soon.


  7. I’d like to add that my local grocery stores have been discontinuing lots of gf beers recently. They stopped carrying New planet at my local Harris Teeter, and whole foods stopped carrying Bards and Greens. No big loss there, as I don’t like any of those. Bards tastes like straight sorghum syrup, not a brewed beer, New Planet has a medicinal taste that is really quite awful, and I never tried Greens because I’m not rich. The bottom line is that I’m really giving up on gf beer until some new faces show up in my local grocers. New Grist was the only one I liked but its given me symptoms lately. That’s the sad state of affairs

  8. Hmm… three hours away from me… in Sioux Falls, SD (moved to Omaha from Ann Arbor 6 weeks ago to start my assistant professor’s gig). Maybe I need an excuse to go visit my friends in SD?…

  9. Long time lurker, first time poster…. There can be so many negative experiences with celiac, but I wanted to share a really positive one I recently had with my local brewery. Not long after I was first diagnosed last year, I went to my local brewery to try their GF beer. I ended up getting terribly sick. While it wasn’t clear if it was the beer or the food, I reached out to the brew master to explain what happened, and educate them on celiac disease. To my surprise, I got a call back from the person in charge of the GF beer, who has celiac, and we determined that it might have been cross contamination. They immediately pulled that batch of GF beer, but to my surprise, they went much further. They renovated the whole set up – the GF beers now have their own separate tower with all new dedicated lines and different colored taps to prevent cross contamination. I’ve been back, and have had zero issues. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be able to drink safely alongside my friends. So if anyone ever finds themselves on the tiny island of Nantucket, MA, check out Cisco Brewers. The GF options are brewed by a celiac, and they truly care about CC issues.

  10. Now there is a reason to celebrate! Whoever has invented this is such an epic genius. I bet everyone is excited to take the first sip. Nice poem, by the way! Thanks you posting.

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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