Ah…another holiday season is upon us. Yeah…I know it’s late to be making a Christmas wish list. But I Facetimed Santa yesterday and he said if I get my list in by the end of today, we’re cool. He also said I’ve been a good Dude this year. And who am I to question Santa?
So Santa…here is my wish list. Thanks in advance. I will leave a homemade gluten-free cookie and a nice gluten-free IPA by the fireplace. Cheers my jolly friend.
– I wish for another wonderful year with Mrs. Dude.
– I wish Udi’s would finally stop ripping off the celiac community.
– I wish to work smarter this year and not harder.
– I wish my parents didn’t f**k up their lives so bad and die young and miserable.
– I wish for all “gluten-removed” beers to stop being called “gluten-free.”
– I wish for the gluten jokes to cease and desist.
– I wish for peace and serenity for my in-laws, who truly deserve it.
– I wish for more pickleball.
– I wish I could for once have a happy dream.
– I wish I would spend more time reading and less time on social media.
– I wish celiac.com would stop pretending they care about the celiac community anymore.
– I wish for celiac disease to get the recognition and respect it deserves.
– I wish for a year of joy for my wonderful Dudettes.
– I wish the Celiac Disease Foundation would remove their logo from every box of Cheerios.
– I wish I could sleep better.
– I wish gluten-free influencers whose main focus is money would just go away.
– I wish for less chaos in the world. We live in crazy times right now.
– I wish for another year of bonding with the celiac community.
– I wish billionaires weren’t such a**holes.
– I wish you were here (shout out to Pink Floyd.)
– I wish for my guitar not to collect so much dust between the times I pick it up.
– I wish for more compassion, empathy and understanding and a lot less anger and divisiveness, no matter what side of the political aisle you sit on.
– I wish for the Kardashians to live the rest of their lives in seclusion, where there is absolutely no connection with the outside world.
– I wish the same thing for the Real Housewives of wherever.
– I wish I stood up to Mike Perry when he bullied me endlessly when I was a kid.
– I wish I could stop ‘chasing’ success.
– I wish for Ozzy (my puppy) to live as long as I do.
– I wish the NY Giants didn’t absolutely suck again.
– I wish life wasn’t so freaking expensive.
– I wish I could redo my teen years with the knowledge and insight I have now.
– I wish for you all to have the happiest and healthiest of holidays. I so appreciate each and every one of you and may all of your gluten-free wishes come true.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Take it away Bruce…