How to Recover from a Vacation

celiac tired

What a vacation!! Wish I could say it’s nice to be back…but…well it kinda sucks to be back. Not just because vacation is over, but because coming back from vacation as a celiac makes me feel like I need another vacation…from the abundance of food, drink and fun I had from the first vacation.

Got back Saturday night after a nice 5-hour delay at the St. Thomas airport. Woke up Sunday ready to catch up on some major work. The mind was sorta willing, but the body was not able. I was TIRED. And not just tired, but CELIAC TIRED. You know the feeling. Can’t get anything accomplished. Sit and stare at your computer screen for hours. Can’t make a simple decision. It felt just like I’d been glutened but I honestly didn’t think I was.

So what do I do? Cleanse. Go back on full AIP Diet immediately. That means it was AIP ASAP. So Sunday, simple eating and simply no drinking. Woke up Monday feeling great.

Just kidding.

Monday was even worse. Holy crap…maybe I did get glutened. I was yelling at my dogs for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Took seven naps during the day. And went to bed at 7:00. But again, ate ungodly clean.

Woke up Tuesday feeling…wait for it…normal. Whatever it was, was out of my system. In two days.

Lesson? Well…the lesson could be to not eat and drink so much on vacation. But I think we’ll put that one on the back burner for now. The lesson is, if you overdo it, EAT CLEAN 100% to let your body heal and then stick with it as much as possible. It’s all about what we eat folks and I don’t simply mean gluten-free. I believe it now more than ever.

How was my vacation you ask? Here’s a poem I read to the vacation crew the last night. You’ll be confused about most of it, but I’ll try to give some hints along the way.

My Name is Gluten Dude and Here is How I Spent My Winter Vacation

celiac sick on vacationAfter a year
That was sometimes surly
We woke up Saturday
Bright and early

It was time to get high
But not with a joint
It’s a natural rush
Called Baraka Point

We boarded the plane
Leaving the cold weather behind
We were off to Virgin Gorda
To be wined and dined

The trip down was easy
And we reached our homestead
But when Vicky unpacked
Her clothes were all red!

(Dude note: a bottle of red wine broke in someone’s bag…it wasn’t pretty.)

We were greeted by Cory
A familiar face
And instead of Kelly
We had Marci in her place

Gluten Dude’s back was sore
But what else is new
Nothing that can’t be cured
With tequila and brew

Then we met Tyler
Our chef for the week
About my disease
Many times we did speak

He kept me quite safe
And everyone was delighted
If he ever wants to cook for me again
He is more than invited

Three meals per day
Every one as good as the next
The only thing better
Was the afternoon sex

There were games to be played
Ladderball and cornhole
A week of playing with friends
Is so good for the soul

John grabbed a kayak
And headed for foreign land
About half way there
He said “shit…this did not go as planned”

(Dude note: he tried to Kayak to a distant island…rough seas prevailed.)

Wendy danced on the table
Oh what a sight
And by the end of the week
She was one giant bug bite

And then there was the night
We got a little nuts
We headed down to the beach
And showed off our butts

(Dude note: a little midnight skinny dip.)

William brought some booze
Two bottles of gin
We failed to polish them off
Much to our chagrin

I got to spend
A week with my wife
Paradise indeed
With my partner in life

We laughed, we connected
We made each other moan
Let’s keep this going sweetie
When we head home

Beth got a little toasted
And put lights in her robe
I laughed so freaking hard
I think I hurt my frontal lobe

Sadly she got
A phone call from Pam
We love you, we’re here for you
We are your fam

(Dude note: her sister’s cancer came back. Just sucks.)

A special shout out to Greg
My brother and best friend
To get us all down here
Oh the money you spend

You’re generous, you’re sophomoric
Yes you are quite the hoot
And god forbid one day you pass
We’re putting you on a cheese board and wrapping you in prosciutto

A week with your besties
Is a week to be treasured
The love I have for this crew
Cannot be measured

So thank you all
For such an amazing week
Six straight years
Oh what a streak

And if we don’t
Get to this again
I will have the great memories
Of vacations with my best friends

The Gluten Dude App: For a Better Gluten-free Life

Eating out with celiac disease is stressful. The Gluten Dude app lists only restaurants that have been personally vetted, so you can spend less time worrying and more time enjoying yourself.

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1 thought on “How to Recover from a Vacation”

  1. Sounds like you had an awesome time. Hope your Xmas was just as grand! Just wanted to wish the “Dude” Happy Holiday’s and thank him for this blog. Your advice and comments as well as the many commenters is a source of knowledge, comfort, support and perspective (makes me realize others are dealing with worse situations than mine so be thankful, it could be worse).

    I made it through my first GF Xmas( including 3 days at my mom’s house) without getting glutened, Yeah! Got glutened at Thanksgiving and was sick for 5 days, depressed even longer, so brought all my own food this time. Turkey and bacon on Udi’s bread isn’t exactly a feast, but it beats the hell out of being glutened.

    To all my friends here at the Gluten Dude have a Super Saturnalia, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and a Kwazy Kwansaa!

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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