So today I was gonna post an email I received recently about a fellow celiac who is really struggling. But it’s a heavy email and I thought, “C’mon Dude, it’s Friday. Let’s end the week on a somewhat humorous note.”
But what could I write about? I thought and I thought. I meditated. I did a yoga session. I took a power nap. I stood on my head. I experimented with some very powerful and very illegal drugs. I freed my mind of all outside distractions. I was in my zen moment. And still…nothing came to me.
I decided to check my Twitter feed and BOOM. I happened upon two young Valley Girl type women having a conversation about going gluten free and it was comedy gold. Well, maybe not gold but enough to keep me entertained. Until the end that is, and then I just felt kinda bad about the whole thing.
Here’s how the conversation went down…
VG #1: Thinking of doing a paleo or gluten free challenge. Something to thin me out. Also need to do more juices. Maybe a cleanse.
VG #2: gluton free thins u out at a decent speed.
VG #1: I checked the food I’m eating and realized I’m like not eating any gluten. Will have to double check though.
VG #2: do u eat gluton free deli meat? Its actually decent.
VG #1: i didn’t know deli meat had gluten !! D: i thought it was just meat.
VG #2: Usually delis will have a sign on the meat that’s gluton free.
VG #1: oh poo. then i’m already failing lol.
VG #2: I was on a gluton free diet for 2 years before I knew deli meat had gluton.
VG #1: haha, so were you really not on a gluten free diet that whole time?!
VG #2: The only thing I’d eat with gluton is deli meat, but it didn’t matter anyway cuz I was miss diagnosed with celiac.
VG #1: WAIT! all this time and you didn’t have it!? you lied to me! D:
VG #2: I thought I had celiac for 2 years but I didn’t feel any better the whole time on the diet. Such a waste…dumb doctors.
VG #1: ugh that sucks! Did they ever figure out what you have?
VG #2: no it is over now whatever it was. no one could figure it out.
VG #1: ugh. that sucks. could have just been a fluke thing you guys had and it went away.
VG #2: probably. The stomach issues went away a few years ago.
VG #1: thank god! no more gluten free crap hahaha.
Here’s why this is funny:
- VG #2 has been gluten free for two years and still doesn’t know how gluten is spelled. One time is a typo…7 times, not so much.
- VG #1 wants to lose weight and thinks gluten free is the answer. She lumps it in with paleo and juicing.
- VG #2 confirms it, yet we all know it has nothing to do with losing weight.
- They both seem to have an infatuation with deli meat.
- VG #1 seems to think gluten free food is crap. We all know it’s some of the best food out there.
And here’s why this is not so funny:
- The media keeps effing up our message and the masses still think gluten free is either a weight loss tool or complete BS. Very nice.
- Her doctor never tested her for celiac. How do I know this? I asked her. She was pretty snooty to me but she did say the doc just put her on the diet without testing her first, telling her she had celiac. God…some doctors just suck.
- She didn’t feel any better but that could be because she was still getting contaminated with deli meat and I would think other items as well. So she may very well have celiac, yet she has already moved on.
- This type of conversation should not be happening still. Bad doctors and fad diets have got to go.
All right…looking back, maybe it’s not as funny as I first thought. Kinda sad actually. But hey…gotta laugh about things sometimes.
Enjoy the weekend folks (and yes I was kidding about taking drugs).