Let’s end the week on a creative note, shall we?
I had a meeting in Princeton yesterday and met my good friend for a nice cup of coffee afterwards at a cool café (that shall remain nameless).
On the way out, we passed the huge dessert display case and we noticed the above (see picture).
That middle cupcake is gluten-free.
But everything else in the case was full of gluten.
There was gluten above it, below it and on both sides of it.
Now sure…I could spew my celiac venom and rant and rave. But that could take years and cost millions of lives (name the movie).
So rather than condemn the café and call them out publicly, let’s have some fun with it.
What would you say to the owner of the café about his gluten-free faux pas? And you only have 7 words to get your message across.
Why 7 words? I have no idea.
Here are a few to get you going:
– I’m a celiac. No chance in hell.
– That ain’t gluten free.
– Cross-contamination at its finest.
– Gwyneth would love this.
Let’s see what you can come up with.
93 thoughts on “What Would You Say to this Café Owner…in 7 Words or Less?”
Nice try, but no thanks. Too risky.
I don’t gamble with my health.
All it takes is one freaking crumb!
Totally! I would give anything for the world to realize how severe this disease can be. Try not being functional til 1 or 2 or 3 pm EVERY single day and then you go EAT THAT MUFFIN!
I love your effort, but that is dangerous. Sorry I couldn’t do it in 7, it took 8.
Like that one! Polite and makes the point. You used 8, but if you chop off the ‘I’ at the front, you got it in 7 words!
‘Love the effort, but that is dangerous.’
Use the contraction!!! That’ll get it down to seven.
Gluten free – free. I’ll tell my friends.
Here in Canada all of our packaging is bilingual and I always thought it was amusing that things were labelled “sans gluten free”. And since we Canadians love to speak franglais, my description for this is …..
Sans gluten free!
That cupcake would make me really sick.
I’ll pass. I’m waiting for a Twinkie.
Good one!!! When I saw the picture, I immediately thought, “Sheesh, might as well eat a Twinkie.” Then I read the challenge….you’re good.
Well played Mrs. Dude!!
…and thanks for the morning coffee spit! 🙂 🙂
I’ve had a gluten free twinkie at The Great Gluten Escape. It was incredible!
“Most gluten free people can’t eat that.”
Shall we play Russian roulette! (or is that political incorrect)
Are the peanut free by the Paydays?
LOL, Katie – thanks for that!
Cross contamination. Learn it. Love it.
“No thanks – no explosive diarrhea for me.”
Sorry! I only gamble in Vegas.
Nice try but try again.
GF but contaminated.
$3.75 is cheap for mini anthrax cakes!
(I had another one, but it was mostly AARGHS! )
Too bad, too–because it looks De-Lish!!
Animal House. You make it too easy sometimes. 🙂
No thanks, one crumb does me in!
Thank you for the effort, but no.
Hmmm, tempting, but no thanks. I am holding out for a gluten free twinkie.
CONTAMINATION IN PROGRESS!!
KEEP AWAY FROM CELIACS!!
Coating a GF cupcake with wheat? Really?
Please remove the wheat from that GF cupcake.
What’s the GF point?
Would you like to buy a GFing clue?
I don’t even want to know where you baked that?
Would you like to how this is really done?
Do you know anyone with Celiac Disease?
How would you like your food contaminated?
How about some ex-lax cupcakes? For perspective?
Is that a GF cupcake with gluten sprinkles?
What types of customers buy your GF cupcakes? The fad dieters?
“Gluten Free” means gluten FREE. That isn’t.
that’s not the way you do it.
That’s a celiaccident waiting to happen.
Sure is. Get me some garlic and a crucifix! Away gluten demons!
I love the new word!
Me too! 🙂 I’m also a fan of “gluten demons” (and have been known to refer to gluten “gremlins,” myself).
Oh man! Looks delicious. Can’t eat it.
Let me tell you what to fix!!!!!
“Can we talk for five minutes? Please?”
Sadly, Gluten free but not Celiac Friendly!
have you heard of cross contamination
Appreciate the effort but not gonna happen.
like being pregnant, you are or you aren’t
did it in 8 hahahaha
Excuse meeeeeeeeeeeee! THAT’s NOT gluten Free! DAMNIT!
“Ohhhh! How I wish you were celiac!”
I’m hoping its just a display & the real items for sale are segregated. Hoping.
I wouldn’t say a thing at all.
Instead, I’d devour the cupcake and just be grateful that something was even listed/labelled “gluten free”. The cupcake sure looks yummy… :p
SALVATION! I’ve Dark Chocolates In My Purse
The Ottawa Celiac Association posts predominantly places that also bake predominantly wheat items – on their website for all public Ottawa to see. It drives me crazy that they refuse to post for Celiacs the places in Ottawa that are 100% dedicated facilities! check them out and complain. No end of pointing this out has helped us here in Ottawa. perhaps the out of town vote will. thanks everyone for posting. This is the number one biggest thing here in Ottawa – the Celiac association does not support 100% dedicated facilities and does support contaminated bakeries. Politics?
Might not be that nefarious of a reason (she said, knowing its equally likely it IS that nefarious a reason… but I’m attempting to become minutely less jaded on alternate Fridays) – it could just be desperation. The thought that there are NO good/safe options, the frustration of yet another “nope, not gonna happen” has caused more than a few celiacs to throw up their hands and decide to ‘cheat’. (I’m one of the lucky ones. Even the barest smidge of gluten in/on/around something and within 15 minutes I’ve gone bright red and I’m desperately casting about for a bathroom… and at 30 minutes, my definition of ‘bathroom’ begins to get seriously vague. Trees, shrubs, baseball cap or slow moving neighborhood dog all start morphing into giant Mr Whipples imploring me to go ahead and squeeze the Charmin! Which keeps me on a far tighter leash then the folks who luckily can just have gas, a rash, and/or a foggy headache all weekend. So me saying “No Way” has nothing to do with will power or rising above that folks without the extreme reaction can be tempted by!) The OCA might just be thinking that it’s better to have SOME option, even if there is no GOOD option in the hope. And even that might be some Pollyanna-ing on their part – if enough people go into a business in the hope of a GF goodie, if enough people specifically complain TO specific businesses, it could be the motivation for a company to work harder to partner with celiacs who want to give them money.
For example, a local pizzaria near me here in norther Ohio (USA) only started first researching then attempting to source GF options AFTER about a year of constant hopeful pleas from local celiacs.
There is also the sometimes near impossibility of being 100% sure an item IS 100% safe. From the field to the customers hand, accidents can happen – even in companies that ONLY do GF (and therefore, one would think they would be error proof… and that sadly isn’t the case. Any time a human has their mitts on something, you have to allow for the little gremlins of stupidity to hit) accidents can happen. Someone doesn’t wash their hands, a board isn’t bleached, a knife gets moved from one kitchen area to the other and more. By one saying “Contains no gluten ingredients” a business (and by extension the OCA) can have some coverage from lawsuits and liability is something would happen. Having 100% GF on a label can also lure celiacs into a false sense of security and really, no matter what, no matter how often something has been eaten before, we need to label read to protect ourselves. Giving a bit of flex into the labeling keeps folks checking and paying attention.
Another option that might be the OCA attempting some form of butt covering could simply be they have gotten burned in the past. A cookie company was GF until a week ago, the website isn’t updated in time, and if someone gets sick enough, someone could attempt to make the OCA partially responsible in a court case. By refusing to give Super Celiac stamps of approval to companies, the list makers absolve themselves of any future guilt.
That being said? Politics and all it’s nasty bedfellows could just as easily be the case too.
Annnnddd there my Pollyanna mask bursts into flames. Dangit, I’ll have to try holder to hold onto it. Next time, anyway!
I have been involved in GF manufacturing with CSA certification (<5ppm). I am aware of the mislabeling, omission of non-GF facilities on products, cross contaminations possibilities even with GF certification organization seals with products and in restaurants. And Gluten Friendly, what's that? They're all clueless! My nutritionist said I could come back anytime, since I knew more than her. You are probably just as knowledgeable. We need to educate them, even if they don't want to hear. I would have bought the cupcake and then destroy it in front of the person who put it in the case. Maybe say, "if you kid had a peanut allergy, would you give him the cupcake with just 1 peanut on the frosting? Bet not! I try to eat only CSA products. I'm just as sensitive.
It’s because the CCA has changed their mandate to target all people who avoid gluten, and not just Celiacs. The result, in my opinion, is that now they’re catering to the diet fadders who are perfectly okay with the contaminated cupcake. The CCA seems to have forgotten about the needs of Celiacs – i.e. that we need 100 per cent.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Educate thyself what is “Gluten-Free”
Madame/Sir, would you eat off the floor?
Bedeep bedeep bedeep That’s All Folks! (Daffy duck)
How about taking the high road and saying something helpful like: “Let me educate you about gluten-free”
“ZOMG! Cupcake force fields!”
“Someone sneezed on that cupcake, have another?”
“Clowns to the left, jokers to the right, here I am”
-Stuck in the middle with you, Stealers wheel
What’s the definition of Gluten Free….idiot?
100% contaminated? Yes! 100% gluten free? NOT!!!!
Close but no cigar!
Could I explain why this is bad?
Not to be rude, but it’s the same response I had ready for this blog:
Have you ever heard of cross contamination?
No chance in heck! I’m scared to come near it. Thanks for teasing anyways. Thanks but no thanks, please research your customers!
Hi, could I speak with manager! I would say this as it makes me crabby because I want to eat it!!!!!! Kim64
Gluten free my a%@!
You are on right track, learn more. 🙂
I would say: You should go to The Happy Mixer Gluten Free Bakery and see how gluten free baked goods are done the right way! They are a brand new 100% gluten free bakery and their goodies are amazing!
I can’t tell you how many times I have and CONTINUE to see this!!!!! unbelievable.
Please re-label Gluten Free for celebrities!!
Please educate yourself / your staff on Celiac!
Gluten-free: you are doing it wrong.
if thats gluten free, then i guess those other cupcakes are fat free?
Calling all Kim kardashians!!
Gluten free for profit not health.
A cupcake for your least favorite celiac!
It’s gluten free, jack up the price!
So…how do you prevent cross-contamination?
This is my 7 words or less response, not a question. 🙂
Neither celiac patient nor evidently celiac vendor.
At least you tried. Let me explain.
I ordered a gluten-free hamburger bread at a burger restaurant in Oslo. The chef actually asked me if he had to cut the bread with a clean knife and use a cutting board that was free from gluten crumbs….
I told him that he didn’t have to, but that I’d appreciate not ending up in a hospital or to spend the next few days around a toilet… I also added: “I’m a celiac, not a hipster”.
Luckily he got my sarcasm, used a clean knife and cutting board.
“A separate display case would be PERFECT!”
Excuse me, that cupcake’s not kosher, either.
Excuse me, that cupcake’s not unobjectionable.
You need to talk to the Star Wars bartender.
Excuse me, you have an unpremeditated oxymoron.
Are you trolling for idiots?
You’re about to lose your sense of decency?
Actually, I am looking to buy a bridge.
Could I define cross-contamination for you?
Cross-contamination, it’s a bitch, isn’t it?
That cupcake is not on fleek.
No thanks, I don’t do online gaming either.
That cupcake is hella wrong.
That cupcake is sickening.
Is that for display? A wrapped one please!
-Dream on, O ignorant one
-Learn from a REAL GF bakery!
-Not in THIS GF life time
-For hipster GF maniacs only
-Through the lips and out as shits
-Wanna trade your body for mine?
You must be gluting me!
It’s 2017 and we’re still seeing this?
Yeah, I saw the same thing at a cafe this morning — in a hospital, no less. Didn’t tell them those seven words but definitely thought them. Sad!
I don’t even need 7: “You failed – gluten jailed”. Followed by a :p.
liar liar, pants on very hot fire