Life is all about balance. We work hard, we play hard. We eat, we exercise. You break the law, you pay the consequences (right Kim Davis.) We have Democrats and Republicans. Peanut butter and jelly. Tom and Jerry. Elliot and Mr. Robot. Tyler Durden and Tyler Durden.
And on this blog, we have “focusing on the positives” and “allowing ourselves to rant”. We haven’t had a good rant in a few weeks, and since I just posted 75 Reasons to Love Celiac Disease, the time is ripe.
Take it away my fellow frustrated celiac.
I’m 31 and I found out that I had problems with gluten when I was 25 and pregnant with my second child. I was getting attacks of dermatitis herpetiformis, which if you’ve never had it is a horrible blistering rash that itches so badly you would happily peel off your own flesh to relieve it. If I get exposed to gluten now I still get the rash as well as the agonizing cramps, joint aches, mental fog….you know the drill. I had just lived with the tummy ache for years, almost as though it was totally normal. I don’t remember a time when I was a teen that I wasn’t bloated and suffering stomach cramps, with constantly red cheeks and those weird little bumps all over my arms. I had low iron for years and no medical professional ever made the connection. Sigh.
Anyway, on with the rant. These are the things that have boiled my blood over the years.
“Everything on the table is gluten free.” Not true. When I called later on that night in agony, asking my mother to check the ingredients on the crisps (potato chips) that I ate, she said “but of course they’re gluten free! They’re POTATOES.”
“It’s Christmas. Really?! Do you really need to ask what’s on your plate, today of all days?” Yes. The same as any other day. Santa didn’t bring me a cure for autoimmune diseases.
“Aren’t you bored of this yet? Time to move on, perhaps?” Bored of the dietary restrictions- yes. Bored of feeling healthy- no. Never will be. Time to move on?! Oh, how I wish!!
“I made this whole tray of brownies and you won’t even have one tiny piece? For me? Oh my god, sometimes I think your “diet” is really selfish and stupid.” Said with her fingers actually doing the air quotes around “diet.” Yeah. The reason I’m saying no to delicious baked goods that smell so tantalizing that I might burst into tears is because I’m selfish. I am spiteful. I hate to feel included. I want to be on the outside, hungry and sad when I’m not catered for. Idiots.
“It WAS GLUTEN FREE!!! What? What do you mean, did I use the same serving spoon? Of course I did! Don’t try telling me that’s a problem. I knew you when you were little and it wasn’t a problem then!” That’s because autoimmune conditions can develop at any time, doofus. And, yeah- when you’re sensitive to something, you’re sensitive! Try pulling this crap on someone with a nut allergy. See how it goes down.
And my absolute favourite – “Yeah, well you don’t look ill.” I’m not ill. I can’t tolerate gluten. If you give me some gluten and come and see me in the morning, I would look ill then. Would that please you? Should I prove to you how much this stuff hurts me??
People are so judgemental. Like they’re trying to catch you out. As if anyone would choose to rigorously stick to this regime if they didn’t have to. That’s why the fad dieters don’t last! Because it’s isn’t a fun way to live!
Need to Vent?
I hate celiac. You hate celiac. We all hate celiac. With all that pent up anger, people need a place to vent.
Well…I invite you to lie on the Dude’s couch (figuratively speaking) and spew away. There’s just one rule: Once you’re done venting, you need to move forward and put the negative vibes on the back burner. Positive energy brings positive results.
Don’t you feel better already??
Dude note: If you didn’t understand my Tyler Durden reference, watch Fight Club. Now. And if my Mr. Robot reference flew past you, season 1 just finished and it is on Breaking Bad level. Amazing acting. Cool cinematography. Great story. The Dudette and I were mesmerized every episode. Find it. Watch it. That is all.