So I received two emails, about three weeks apart, from a gentleman who is just a tad frustrated with his wife. It seems she will not let him eat gluten. Anywhere.
He does not have celiac (or as half internet calls it…celiacs). She does.
I am not sharing this email to make anyone feel bad.
I am sharing it in the hopes that I can get them both to see the light, and perhaps save a marriage at the same time.
High hopes indeed.
Here are the emails, received about three weeks apart.
My wife has celiac and is forcing me to go gluten free with her. I understand that it’s important to keep cross contamination down, but for me this limits foods I can take with me to work, because at my work there is no microwaves or ovens, so I can’t reheat anything gluten free we’ve made beforehand. And simple things like lunch meat gets old very quickly. So I was wondering if it’s safe for me to talk to her about me getting small amounts of things that I can take to work for lunches that have gluten. We have plenty of space so I can easily store these items out of our kitchen, and away from where she can get into it.
And here was my response:
I hate to say it, but your wife is not being reasonable. My wife and kids still eat gluten. It’s just a matter of setting some rules, keeping things very safe for her, and being respectful. But there is no reason for you to have to give it up too. She may not like me for this.
Hello I messaged once before on this topic, but my wife has celiac and due to our area not having many gluten free options in our stores (we have checked) I want to ask her about me getting small things for work, and honestly I’m worried how she’ll react. At this moment she’s only staying gluten-free because I am, and I honestly don’t believe that’s fair. I can understand not having any at home where it could cross contaminate but why not at my workplace that has its own cooking utensils and storage so the food won’t even be coming to the house at all. Anyway, is there any way you think I can get her to agree to my request?
Point One: She’s gotta put her big girl pants on and take ownership of her disease. The fact that she says she is only staying gluten-free because you are is absolute, utter horsesh*t. I’m sure there is a psychological term for what she’s doing, but I’ll leave that to the professionals.
Point Two: You gotta put your big boy pants on. If you want to go gluten-free to support her…awesome. More power to ya. But if you feel you should be able to eat gluten outside the house, eat gluten. Heck…even inside the house is ok as long as you’re very careful. Mrs. Dude and the Dudettes eat more than their fair share of gluten. Why would I ever stop them? It’s my disease, not theirs.
Point Three: Every store has gluten-free options. Meat, fish, veggies, fruit and the list goes on…all gluten-free.
My suggestion would be to have a sit down with her and simply communicate. It’s the most important tool in life’s little toolbox.
And if she still won’t “let” you eat gluten, your problems may go a bit beyond celiac disease.
Best of luck to you both…I hope you find your way.