Happy Anniversary Honey. Now Let's Go Kick Cancer's Ass!

mrs dude

Today (August 21) is mine and Mrs. Dude’s 21st wedding anniversary.

Our amazing marriage has survived an earthquake (Northridge of 93), bladder cancer, pulmonary embolisms, celiac disease and a host of other stress-inducers. But nothing quite compares to what we are dealing with right now.

Not only did my first Dudette go off to college three days ago (much more difficult than I expected), but today Mrs. Dude goes in bright and early for her double mastectomy to get rid of this effing cancer once and for all.

Life is good. It really, really is. Mrs. Dude and I are both blessed with many things to be thankful for. But every once in awhile, I find myself thinking “Really? You’re throwing another thing at us? Go pick on somebody your own size!”

But I know that’s what life is all about. Everyone’s got their sh*t. It’s how we deal with it that matters. As a matter of fact, I’ve had a quote hanging in my office for years that says:

“To insist unrelentingly that the world be different from the way it is, creates a foundation that breeds distress.”

Ain’t that the truth.

I know I’ve been quiet on my blog the past few weeks. A lot to digest. I’ll be back in full, snarky force in no time. Just need to get past this stage.

Right now I’m off to find a “Thanks for the Mammaries” anniversary card. May be a tough find. (And yes…I had Mrs. Dude’s permission to use that line. Gotta love her 😉 )

In the meantime, I will leave you with a poem I wrote for Mrs. Dude on our last anniversary. I posted this back in November but heck…she’s worthy of a repost.

In 1992
I made a simple trip
To celebrate Aunt Carol’s birthday
And out of the city I slipped

Who would watch Lauren
While we went out and ate?
Aunt Carol had a plan
And boy did that turn out great

(Dude note: She got Mrs. Dude to babysit my niece. That’s how we first met.)

It took me a good three weeks
To make the dreaded call
Would she even remember me?
Does she know I’m not that tall?

My fears were totally unfounded
As you put me so at ease
It was like I knew you forever
And boy was I ever pleased

We set up our first date
Sushi and a movie
By the time the night had ended
We both knew this was groovy

It only took 11 months
Before we both knew
We wanted this forever
Ya ti bla le blu (Dude note: Russian for “I love you”)

Our wedding was just perfect
Our honeymoon the same
Then it was off to LA
To find my fortune and fame

(Dude note: I went to LA to continue my [failed] acting career).

But instead of finding fortune
We found unsteady ground (Dude note: Northridge Earthquake)
Our love was truly tested
And east coast we were bound

We settled in New Jersey
Plainsboro to be exact
The early years were rocky
But I would not take them back

Because we were tested early
And came through even stronger
I knew our marriage was meant to be
And we’d stay together much longer

Along came our dear Courtney
Our life would never be the same
She was such an amazing gift
With such a beautiful name

Three years later it was Maddie
Our family was complete
Throw in two great puppies
Our life could not be beat

We made the move to PA
Into the house of our dreams
Our marriage could not get better
Or so that it seems

But something strange keeps happening
My love for you keeps growing
How does this happen after 20 years
When many marriages simply stop flowing?

I’ll tell you how it happens
The answer is crystal clear
I married the perfect woman!!!!
I want everyone to hear

Thru celiac and cancer
And don’t forget the clots
And yes let’s throw in migraines
When you’re seeing tons of dots

You’ve held it all together
You are this family’s glue
Your strength is awe-inspiring
Your looks are not bad too!

You’ve aged with grace and beauty
Yes even when your hair was down
You are my pride and glory
Well…maybe not when your hair was brown

(Dude note: She dyed her hair…results not as expected.)

So today we celebrate
Twenty awesome years
We’ve laughed, we’ve loved, we’ve lived
We’ve gotten thru some tears

Isn’t that what marriage
Truly is about
Experiencing together
All that life dishes out

I love you more than words
Can ever fully say
You are my perfect soul mate
In every single way

So let’s raise a glass to us
As I make this toast
I love you no matter where we are
The east or the west coast

And if the next twenty years
Are anything like the previous ride
I’ll be the luckiest guy in the world
Because you are by my side

Now seriously…let’s go kick cancer’s ass.

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37 thoughts on “Happy Anniversary Honey. Now Let's Go Kick Cancer's Ass!”

  1. Yes! Eff cancer! I’m not much for praying, but I do know that love, support, and positive energy go a long way towards healing.
    It’s cool that you can lean on each other when you need it.

  2. Today I just got home from the hospital after what I hope is my final surgery. May 4th last year was my surgery for double mastectomy, I hope things go well for you both. We to have been through crazy amount of things, my husband had a major head injury 4 years after we got married had to learn everything again. Did not know who I was for 4 years. Did not know the three beautiful children were ours. Then our oldest son was born 2 1/2 months early almost lost him. When he was nine came down with rear diseas call Wegeners granulamotosis told he would not live. Only 4 child in Canada to get Wegeners at that time. He beat all odds and is now 30 and married. Than came husbands second head injury. Than our other sons wife diagnosed with chrons . Just when we think we can catch a break along came invasive ducal breast cancer. One year later hair all grown back in funny thing it came in curly. I just home from hospital for like I said hopefully final reconstuction. Seems to me that some of us just get wAy more health issues than others , like you said though it makes you stronger as a couple. Tell your wife chemo goes by fast and before you know it this to will be behind you. Thing that I found most important be with those who can support you. I am one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and nothing more encouraging than reading the bible to help on those days feels like you cannot take any more. We have a web site you can go to to read the bible or look up anything you would like. Beautiful music on this site to relax to, it is jw.org. I will be watching your post to see how she is doing hang in there . Leona

  3. Mr & Mrs Dude, you two are an inspiration for how to “live life” during all circumstances. HOPE & STRENGTH for the Dudes tonight, tomorrow, the challenging days directly ahead and for many, many more Happy Anniversaries together!

    From everything I’ve learned about Mrs Dude by “hanging around” GDude these last 6 months, I am reminded of the following words, which I repeat in Mrs Dude’s honor tonight:

    “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good … all the days of her life…. Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household… and her children … call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her… ”
    Proverbs 31:10-30 (in part).

    Looking forward to hearing an all clear Mrs Dude health report soon! I’ll be driving for several hours beginning @ 4am your time this morning so I’ll be remembering your family and your health care providers.

  4. *Sniff sniff*. That definitely brought on tears. You and Mrs. Dude are very lucky to have one another. I’m so happy to see that your marriage is so strong and full of love. It gives hope to young ‘uns like me who grew up with a suspicious view of marriage! 😉 Sending lots of good vibes your way!

  5. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
    ― Lao Tzu

    You guys got this.

    and…..F**k cancer. You’re both stronger. .

    Love, healing thoughts and all good juju,
    Irish

  6. I loved watching my daughter go off to college. Spreading her wings and finding her way in this world. Watching your children grow into beautiful independent adults is the biggest reward as a parent. Your dudette will do great because she has the example of two loving parents to follow.
    Happy Anniversary! Praying the surgery goes well and kicks cancer’s ass for good! Sometimes life can throw a nasty curveball, but you are right, it is all in how you choose to deal with it.
    Here’s to a speedy and full recovery, and many more anniversaries to come.

  7. Happy Anniversary to you and Mrs. Dude.
    I prayed for her to have a successful surgery and good recovery and for all traces of cancer to be gone – as well as for your family to receive God’s choicest blessings…

  8. Happy anniversary! We’re thinking about you and the family today. With so much stress this week, just remember you have a whole community to talk to and lean on if you need it. We are all here for you, the Mrs., and the Dudettes. Take care of Mrs. Dude and take care of yourself.

  9. Happy Anniversary, “Dudes”! THIS is what marriage is all about. Just look at the gift you’re giving your 2 daughters in showing them what a healthy relationship can be.

    Your first born has left the nest and she’ll find her way. Your second will “be” a teenager and she’ll figure it out too. She’ s in a new situation with her “big” sister gone BUT you’re a tight unit and a new normal will emerge.

    Now, Mrs.Dude, slay this dragon. You’ve got a solid support system and so may you haven ‘t even met, rooting for you. That positive energy counts!

    Go forth, Dude. Do what you need to do. We’ll be here for ya.

  10. GD & Mrs. Dude-

    Happy Anniversary-xox! Jersey Guy and I have been together 21 years and hell yeah it has been a ride. Not a like top down blasting Springsteen cruising to LBI kinda ride but I consider myself blessed to have someone to get through this life with. All of it. I wouldn’t change a thing. Our little girl is a ray of sunshine and hope that carries us through.

    Prayers for you. Prayers for your wife. We will all be here for you, anytime.

    Love,
    Jersey Girl
    —————————————————————————————
    “There’s a dark cloud rising from the desert floor.
    I packed my bags and I’m heading straight into the storm.
    Gonna be a twister to blow everything down
    That ain’t got the faith to stand its ground.
    Blow away the dreams that tear you apart,
    Blow away the dreams that break your heart.
    Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and brokenhearted.”
    The Promised Land

  11. Your entire family is in my prayers. How thoughtful of you to post a tribute to your wife and marriage during such a stressful time. Difficulties bring us closer together but sometimes you got to wonder why, why, why.
    PS. The poem made me almost cry last year; this year the tears flowed.

  12. What a beautiful post. My thoughts are with you two, and saying a prayer for you both. Life sure can throw the curve balls, but love will always hit homers off them. You two have a ton. Breathe deep and go do this. 

  13. Beautiful tribute! Happy anniversary and prayers and thoughts are with you, your wife, and your family as Mrs. Dude has her surgery. <3

  14. Angie from the Land of Oz

    Happy anniversary GD and Mrs. Dude! Will pray you and for Mrs. Dude’s recovery throughout the next few days and weeks. May God bless your day with encouragement, love, hope, and peace.

  15. Thinking about Mrs. Dude & the entire family. Hoping the surgery & recovery go smoothly & thank you for sharing your story with us <3

  16. Wow 21 years. That itself is a triumph and worthy of celebration. And one kiddo already in college must be exciting, with so many positive things working in the direction you both are, only one thing left to do is kick cancers @$$. I’m rooting on you Mrs. dude.

  17. depressed dancer

    We found your site today when my partner got glutened (on holiday) and we needed the celiac hive mind of good recovery advice. We’re feeling a bit sorry for ourselves, but seeing everything you’ve overcome makes me feel a bit ashamed of our moaning.

    So good luck Mrs Dude, and thank you both so much for being brave, strong, honest and open and sharing your life and wisdom with the world.

  18. I know Cancer is always a struggle. I always wonder why cures are so hard to find?

    Sad, today they found out Gluten Free can cause Allergies because one of the ingredients is Lupin and it has been known to cause these allergies http://www.prevention.com/food/healthy-eating-tips/fda-warns-about-lupin-allergy-gluten-free-foods

    I just wish they come out with a cure for all these terrible diseases. However if you know how finance works many shareholders of certain health stock do not want to cure sickness unless it is extremely urgent, because they want to make sure there shareholders are never interrupted by a cure. Today most pharmaceutical companies want to keep there products going and seem to only care about care for the patient and NEVER a cure. It is sad, years ago you had good doctors like Jonas Salk who cured polio, now most pharmacies and the medical community just want to give people a pill to solve there problems rather then cures. Truth is truth.

    1. The article is discussing lupin as a “potential” problem for people with PEANUT OR LEGUME allergies. It is not suggesting that gluten free foods will cause allergies to develop.

      And I sincerely doubt anyone is purposefully withholding a cure for cancer just to make money.

      While it is true that many doctors do symptom-treat, I do not believe there is a vast conspiracy to keep us all ill and dying.

      Just my opinion. 🙂

  19. I think the point of farrotym story is how The big media keeps doing everything it can to ruin the Gluten Free diet. All I can say is G-Damn Dr. Peter Gibson in Australia. Now Celiac.com is saying that Gluten Intolerance is false. http://www.celiac.com/articles/23737/1/Non-Celiac-Gluten-Sensitivity-Not-Holding-Up-to-Scrutiny/Page1.html

    My opinion is starting in 2015, Gluten Free products will be leaving the Supermarket Shelves because to much bad information about Gluten Free foods and by 2017 GLUTEN FREE WILL BE GONE PERIOD, at least in Supermarkets and Restaurants. People need to hear the truth even if they do not like the truth. The Media and the wheat lobbyist will succeed in destroying Gluten Free and replacing it with Low FODMAP. Thanks to Dr. Gibson..

    Anyway this post is about Gluten Dude wife and cancer

    1. Yes, it is about Mrs. Dude and there seems to be a number of posts on GD’s website and FB page about Dr. Gibson’s study as well as overreaction to every single aspect of that study.

      Give it a break. You’re all just spamming his site at this point. We can all see it. Thanks, but we “get it”. 🙂

      The media is not causing a problem for me. I follow a GF diet because I have celiac and I will always live this way. I don’t care what any new studies or articles or people who troll on blogs may say.

      Maybe you should do the same.

      Cheers!

      1. …..and for the record, the Celiac.com website puts out ALL published articles on a daily basis from the news feed. It automatically runs any articles that have key words like gluten, gluten free, celiac, etc in them. Sometimes they are fluff pieces, sometimes they are scientific articles and sometimes they are just announcements about a celiac group meeting in Topeka. I see them every day. This does not mean the site is making any statements.

        There is no rhyme or reason to them, most go unread and they are purely for informational purposes. No one from celiac.com is stating an opinion on them. I have asked the owner of the site about this, so honestly, “celiac.com” is not saying any such thing about this study or gluten sensitivity “not existing”.

      2. The voice of reason rings clearly. Go Irish!
        I don’t have much of a choice. If my supermarket doesn’t sell what I need, I’ll go elsewhere. But wait… since fresh meat, fish and veggies, and rice are available pretty much anywhere, I think I’m in good shape. Oh and liquor. Liquor too. Don’t dwell on what you can’t have. Revel in what you can.

        Dude, my thoughts are still with you. Hope things are getting better.

  20. Hey Ernest Wallo The study you are referring to was done in 2013 and was funded by George Weston Foods A BREAD COMPANY http://www.gastrojournal.org/article/S0016-5085%2813%2900702-6/abstract

    It seems to me that every time Gluten Intolerance is proven false 2 things are the same. The Studies involve Dr. Peter Gibson and George Weston Foods. Not only that just as the study Dr. Peter Gibson did to prove Gluten Intolerance is false, the study was done in 2013 http://www.gastro.org/journals-publications/gastroenterology/gastro-podcast/gastroenterology-podcast-august-2013

    This study that author Jefferson Adams of Celiac.com is referring to again was done in 2013. Yet a recent study by Dr. Gibson that proves Gluten Intolerance and depression go hand and hand until adopting a Gluten Free diet was done in April of 2014 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=gibson+gluten+depression

    Anyway to make a long story short, I smell a rat when Dr. Gibson and George Weston Foods get together to prove Gluten Intolerance is false and all these studies were done last year NOT THIS YEAR Jefferson Adams of Celiac.com

    Sorry people going into other topics without researching them first and putting them on this blog when it has nothing to do with Gluten Dude’s wife and cancer gets me truly upset because Dr. Gibson is a FRAUD period.

    My prayers to Gluten Dude’s wife and may everything turn out alrighr.

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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