It's Not Always About You


Just a quick public service announcement today folks.

Please remember…it’s not always about you.

If you’re lucky enough to have a Mrs. Dude in your life, it’s not always about you.

Even though you don’t feel good a large majority of the time, it’s not always about you.

When you are out to eat and staring at a menu, frustrated at all the things you can’t have, it’s not always about you.

If you find yourself talking about celiac disease or gluten for the 10th straight day, steer the conversation back in the other direction because it’s…not…always…about…you.

It’s been a wild ride for me for the past five years. Cancer, celiac disease and multiple blood clots in both of my lungs will do that.

But at the end of the day, you know what keeps me going?

That pretty, little lady laying next to me at night.

Don’t let your infliction take over what’s really important in your life.

I can live without gluten.

Living without Mrs. Dude?

No chance in hell.

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35 thoughts on “It's Not Always About You”

  1. Well said 🙂 Cheers to Mrs Dude!
    And while we at it cheers to my hubby for always putting up with my celiac world 🙂 especially on a Monday morning… 🙂

  2. I posted this comment on Facebook but thought I probably should have posted it here.

    Yes, it’s not always about us. As far as Diseases go, Celiac isn’t that bad compared to many others that are out there. So many people are suffering with truly diabilitating life-threatening diseases. I am grateful I ONLY have Celiac Disease to contend with compared to what other’s suffereing with. I suppose I am trying to look at the positive in a negative.

    1. Yes, I absolutely agree with this. I have the perspective of someone who has multiple chronic health conditions though, so for me, Celiac seems pretty easy in comparison. That being said, I can absolutely understand the difficulty people have in adjusting (emotionally as well as physically) to a diagnosis of Celiac when they have nothing else to compare it to.

      But even still, Celiac requires no surgery, no drugs and most of the time, for most people, it doesn’t threaten our lives.

    1. That would be totally awesome Melissa. If we’re out your way, would love the chance to meet you.

      So much to do…so little time.

      1. BC is GORGEOUS!! Can I come, too? pretty please? 🙂

        and I’ve never been to Colorado, Melissa, and if they go, I’m hitching a ride.

        Same invite to all of you from me. If you’re coming to upstate NY (Saratoga-Albany area) you know you’re getting a gourmet GF meal at Irish’s house. All GF, all the time, baby.:)

  3. I love this! You are SO right! Sometimes I get so caught up in it because EVERY damn day I feel like crap…it’s ALWAYS something else. And sometimes the ones we love won’t tell us “it’s not always about you, Stacy!” for fear of hurting our feelings, etc. But it’s great to read things like this or have people be honest with you because you are so right…it’s NOT always about me. What an eye opener. I will try not to constantly talk about my health/problems and try to be a better friend/wife/sister/daughter. Thank you for this. 🙂

  4. Amen to that Dude! There is no way in HELL that I could live without my other half–and better half at that!!!! Great post Dude!

  5. “WOODY:” Hey, Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.
    “NORM:” I know, and if she calls, I’m not here.”


    Good advice GD, let’s give our best half and kids a day off from our celiac rants.

    Jersey Girl

    1. Sam, “What’ll you have Normie?”
      Norm, “Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sammy. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.”
      Sam, “Looks like beer, Norm.”
      Norm, “Call me Mister Lucky.”

  6. Whoyah. Couldn’t resist Y’all.

    “NORM:” 2:00 sure. Hey listen, now what exactly do I do?
    “MARKETING REP:” Well, you’ll be in a room with several other volunteers and you’ll be tasting several varieties of beer. We’ll pay you for your time.”
    “NORM:” Excuse me sir, this is going to sound like an odd question. By any chance were you born in a manger?”

    Jersey Girl

    1. Woody, “Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?”
      Norm, “A little early isn’t it, Woody?”
      Woody, “For a beer?”
      Norm, “No, for stupid questions.”

  7. Had waitress McNasty tell me this week “why don’t you only go out to places you know you can eat & not make it harder on us”…looked at her in shock & replied “well that would be awful selfish to tell my 20 friends I go out with where they have to eat all the time”. Sadly she still didn’t get it, but then she also barely got a tip so karma works it out

  8. Great post, GD.

    I never mention celiac or gluten unless I am talking with other celiacs (okay, that happens every morning as I do my thing on various sites 🙂 )
    but, I do not talk about it to my family and friends anymore.

    I agree totally that it is not all that exciting and everyone in my life already knows my saga and that I have celiac. There’s more going on in my life than that now that I am on the mend.

    Going to the gym and getting my muscles back (whoohoo!), travel plans, photography, projects in our home that went undone, making plans to swim with dolphins in March (for real!) and discussing with others my excitement that I can now lip-sync if I want to when I appear on stage …..

    But this transition into “it’s not about me anymore” is also because I have some time and healing under my belt.

    Newly diagnosed people need to talk about it–a lot–to come to grips with it. Then, it’s time to move on, yes.

    And yes, I agree that my very awesome spouse is the main reason why I am so glad the spotlight is off me and my “almost-dying thing” and back on US having fun together. As it should be.

  9. Excellent reminder! This post and everyone’s comments brightened my day. I’m thankful for being alive and even though this disease sucks, most of the time it doesn’t keep me from doing what I love to do! We all have our bad days, but it just makes me more thankful for all the good ones 🙂

  10. I remind myself of this frequently. I even play a game where I try not to say anything about gluten free foods or celiac or anything related for several days in a row.

    All the important people in my life are aware of my issues. Why do I need to keep focused on it? Clearly I need to focus on not eating the poison…but why do I have to discuss it all the time and bore my wife and kids? I don’t.

    The less I talk about, the more normal I feel – just getting on with life. Now – if I bump into someone new to celiac, or whatever, I spend some time answering their questions and helping them. But after two + years, I’m a little less focused on me and getting back to what’s important. There’s so much more to life than food!

    Thanks Dude for a great reminder!!!

    1. Guy
      I also feel better not talking about ignore I feel talking about it gives life to it. It’s the Law of Attraction, what you give attention to is what you get more of in life.

  11. Hold tight to the ones you love!

    I split with my ex a year and 1/2 before my DX. I went through a lot of pain and uncertainty alone.

    Well said…..

  12. This is a very disturbing post to me. I feel this ” it’s nots always you” only applies to the male in the relationship! At my house its all about me! ” if Mama aint’t happy, ain’t no one happy.”. :0

    Now it’s not always about gluten! That I would agree with! I see other forums, including a certain big one, and sometimes I just have to laugh.

    ” The Jello I made for the kids must have glutened me. Because now I have my usual bloating and D and also, vomiting and chills! “. Comes out she made the Jello because the kids all had a stomach virus.

    Another favorite:

    There must be gluten in ( insert alcoholic beverage of your choice) because after drinking 6 shots I felt horrible. Vomiting & a headache!

  13. I often worry about Jello and gluten free. I love it so I eat it often as dessert. The package can be misleading. Often I think it’s the sugar that causes the stomach cramps and Gelatin also causes D. But, I love it.

    The local organic/natural food store sells Cool Cups. They are certified Gluten Free, made organically and have 100% of vitamin C for each cup. I will also attest to them being delicious. Here’s a link to the site. Check them out.

    1. Just to clarify: she wasn’t glutened by the Jello, she got the stomach virus from the kids.

      Thanks for the link. I have a young friend who can not be talked out of being a gf vegan. I refuse to let her use it as a reason not to eat! I’ll tell her about them.

  14. Wow, awesome words. My sweetie has been eating gluten free pasta since end of May without a complaint! I’ve been going through a week of unknown (what did I eat that glutened me) stomach pain and every morning he sweetly asks how is my tummy today?
    36 years of marriage and my strongest supporter.

  15. lucky you. try being alone when this condition hits you. try losing your eyesight from an undiagnoseable condition, probably related to gluten intolerance and other ‘invisible’ (?) causes (pun mildly intended). try having your skin rotting off on your genitalia from another undiagnoseable condition even after being seen by dermatologists and urologists… and somehow have it all related to gluten? yet… have all your blood tests normal? yeah to top it all off, try having a family and friends and doctors who just think you are full of shit, since your condition cannot be diagnosed on any level.

    then, when you have resigned to killing yourself since the world is so fucking ruined and there is no help, try drinking yourself to death only to find that practically all alcohol causes you extreme suffering celiac symptoms. so then try suffering a slow lonely death like i have been condemned to. gluten IS fucking hell. i hate you all who have happy normalish lives. i hate normal people even more. gluten allergy has made me want to kill the world as the world is killing me. i want to find like minded suffering people…and make the world pay. not sure if any exist in this world of shit. i just want someone to fucking pay.

    im sure this comment will get deleted but hopefully you will read it and feel the disgust. if you choose to leave it, cool… gluten intolerance has completely obliterated all sense of altruism i had in this life. i hope it does the same for others and the world gets more fucked up, because it deserves it.

  16. Thanks for the reminder!

    I was lucky enough to find a guy who knew about my celiac, and was o.k. with that. Last night, he got the last piece of gluten-free carrot cake.

    As far as I’m concerned, he can always have the last piece of gluten-free carrot cake.


  17. The Other Half Cat

    Good post, Dude! I’m always happier when I’m serving others instead of wallowing in my own little world. It’s an easy trap to fall into.

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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