Dear Gwyneth…Please Shut Up…Again!

gwyneth takes credit for gluten free craze

Dear Gwyneth,

I ordered your vaginal egg from Goop but I’m not sure how to use it. Is there a how-to video for guys?

Just kidding. Hey there Ms. Paltrow. It’s me again. Gluten Dude. I wrote you way back in 2012 respectfully asking you to hush about your gluten-free diet as it makes it harder for us celiacs to be taken seriously. Here is a clip of what I said (just to refresh your memory):

Five years ago when I was diagnosed with celiac disease, most had not heard of the disease and had no idea what gluten was (me included). So if I was eating out, I needed to be very specific in my ordering because it was such an unknown to the general public. And because of that, I was taken very seriously. Chefs came out to speak with me. Waitresses asked a thousand questions to make sure I wouldn’t get sick. And while it was, and continues to be, a huge pain in the ass, it was treated as it should be…a dangerous auto-immune disease.

Now…things have changed. Gluten has gone mainstream. Some feel that’s a good thing. More publicity means more products, more education, etc, etc. But now, when I try to explain celiac disease, this is what I get: “Oh…that’s that gluten diet thing, right?” I almost feel the need to defend myself.

What you have done Gwyneth is you have minimized the seriousness of gluten to those who simply cannot have it. Spend a virtual day with me. Is this what you go through on a daily basis? Probably not.

And now here we are in 2019 and you just can’t help yourself. In yesterday’s interview with the New York Times, you were asked “How is your thinking about what product and service you recommend evolving?”

Here is what you so graciously stated:

“When we talk about something that is incendiary, I always see in six months other people starting to write about it, and 18 months later, businesses popping up around it. It’s always confirmation to me that we’re on the right track. I mean, when I did my gluten-free cookbook in 2015, the press was super negative and there were personal attacks about what I was feeding my children and what kind of mother I am. Now the gluten-free market is huge.”

Now Gwyneth…if I recall, you fed your kids gluten-free but also let them cheat and gave them Oreos because kids deserve treats.

Puuuuuuuuuuuuuke!

Now I can go on and on (and I usually do) but since you ignored me the first time around, how about we let someone else handle the reins this time. Please take five minutes out of your goop-filled day and read the following thread from a mom who has a child with celiac disease:

Ok…that gets a serious slow clap.

After reading the above, do you still think you should be taking credit?

Ok…I’m outta here Gwyneth. It’s time for my At Home Coffee Enema, which I purchased from your site. Hoping I don’t burn myself.

Fondly,

Gluten Dude

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10 thoughts on “Dear Gwyneth…Please Shut Up…Again!”

  1. Not only a slow clap but a standing freaking ovation with shouts of Encore! Encore! Go Meredith! She pretty much covered every single rant I have as the parent of a child with celiac….and we don’t even eat that much of the processed junk that is out there!! But it sure would be nice to just have something I can grab and go without worrying, constantly.

    You’re right, Dude. Gwyneth needs to shut up and quickly.

  2. Wow! What an incredible series of tweets! I hope this doesn’t fall on more deaf ears (or rather blind eyes). This deserves a standing ovation.

  3. So true. Most of what she peddles is quackery. What’s worse, she believes wholeheartedly that it isn’t.

    Still, your intro is not okay, Dude. Never okay for a dude to “heckle” a woman with sexual innuendo. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but totally sounds like you’re saying you want a video of her vagina. REALLY?! You’re way better than that. She’s easy enough to heckle without it — you have literally zero reason to ever stoop to bro “jokes” that are really just the kind of harassment women have to deal with everyday. The intro needs to change pronto.

  4. This is what happens when your agent says “Hey GF just got FDA sanction (in 2014, final ruling), market opportunity for a book.” And you hear: “You can be the savior of millions of people who desperately need something they’ve never heard of.” Bingo, 2015 book.

    She’s not the first celebrity to cause a cult of personality effect. I wish she was the most malevolent example.

  5. they-told-me-I-was-fine

    Dear celiac community. It makes absolutely no sense for anyone with celiac to be against anyone that doesn’t want to eat gluten for any reason.

    I think this is bully imitation. I was bullied for my lack of weight and finicky diet and I was bullied by doctors that practically ushered me out of their clinics for complaints of known celiac symptoms. A person with celiac is a sitting duck for bullying whether it is diagnosed and addressed or not.

    The benefits of an interest in a gluten free lifestyle by the general public are great. There are, of course, potential complications with it such as standardization and public opinion but some benefits obvious to me are increased demand for dedicated facilities and training and potential improvements and greater interest in cross-contamination technology and training. Then there are the numerous health benefits for everyone.

    I believe everyone is gluten intolerant. The more people that go gluten free, the easier this is to demonstrate.

    So please celiac community. I don’t want to try to bully you. Will you please encourage others to enjoy the benefits of going gluten free. It has been clearly shown in so many cases to be a bad player in the bodies of everyone. Will you please do this even if others don’t appear to suffer as much from it.

    Most sincerely,
    they-told-me-I-was-fine

  6. I agree totally. Paltrow and her wacky, unfounded BS can be dangerous! Ms Paltrow, shut the hell up before you kill someone! !

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

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I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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