Dude note: To help celebrate and promote Celiac Awareness Month, I will be writing 30 blog posts over 30 consecutive days (weekends excluded) with the theme “30 Days of Helping 30 Celiacs”. Each post will be aimed toward helping one specific person or group of people. If you or someone you know needs help, guidance, advice or a shoulder to cry on, please contact me and I will do what I can to help. On the 31st day, you’re on your own. Totally kidding.
Today’s 30 for 30 blog post is for: Anyone in a relationship with someone who doesn’t believe in your disease.
Yeah, yeah…I know…I missed a blog post yesterday. So much for my 30 posts in 30 days. Actually, let’s just say yesterday’s [missing] blog post was aimed at helping me since I’m on work overload right now. Phew…back on track.
Anyway, there are lots of things I don’t believe in.
– I don’t believe in Santa Clause (anymore).
– I don’t believe in the tooth fairy.
– I don’t believe in heaven and hell. Well…at least not hell.
– I don’t believe a word Donald Trump says.
– I don’t believe Eli Manning is a Hall of Fame quarterback (and that comes from a huge Giant fan).
– I don’t believe there is a greater performer than Bruce Springsteen.
– I don’t believe you should be able to charge $6 for a loaf of gluten-free bread that looks like swiss cheese.
But I do believe in celiac disease.
And I do believe in NCGS.
But alas…not everyone does. And that my friends is the topic of today’s email.
This is kind of a long story but I’ll make it as short as I can. My sister has been diagnosed with Celiac Disease. My mother, although no official diagnosis, likely has Celiac Disease. My mother had unexplained seizures for about 10 years before my sister was diagnosed. My mother has went gluten free after she discovered seizures was a reaction.
I strongly feel I am either gluten sensitive or Celiac. My gluten free adventure began after I was involved in an auto accident leaving me without a car and stuck at my mom’s until repairs were made. I have always taken care of my health but when I was stuck at mom’s with no car, my only choice was to eat what she had. It has now been about 10 months and I could give you a list of things that have improved but this is getting long as it is.
The reason I am contacting you is I need advice. About 3 months ago, my boyfriend and I finally got our own place. Having a shared kitchen has proven to be a real nightmare. My boyfriend insists that he doesn’t see anything changing or getting better. He can’t ‘see’ what is going on inside me. He insists that I need to be tested but that is not possible due to lack of finances.
I also do not feel I need to be tested as I do not need a doctor to tell me how I feel.
He is pushing me to the point of going off gluten free just to prove to him what happens. However, I really do not want to do this but this is tearing the relationship apart. Everything he uses he contaminates with gluten.
Do I really have to be tested? How do get him to truly understand? I think the hardest part is that we have been together for seven years and my going gluten free is only now a problem for the relationship.
I want to stay healthy and feeling happy. How can I if I live with a glutenous demon (my boyfriend)?
I could make a joke how the seven year itch is not a celiac symptom, but I won’t go there.
I remember moving in with Mrs. Dude after we were married and it’s absolutely a big adjustment. So many things that I was used to doing…she did differently. And vice versa. Perhaps that’s a part of what he is dealing with.
At the end of the day, it’s all about compromise and balance.
Now with gluten, there’s only so much compromise you can tolerate. So if you believe you must be gluten-free for your health, he’s gotta get on board or hop off the train. And if he won’t do either, you need to decide if the relationship is more important than your health and if it’s not, I suggest you depart at the next station and find somebody who “believes”.
“I thought love was more or less a given thing; Seems the more I gave the less I got.”
Oh…and for the record, I also believe in everything Crash Davis believes in (note…some naughty words.)