When I first started this blog six months ago, I made a promise to myself that I would not get caught in the trap of complaining incessantly about having celiac disease.
I didn’t want to write it and nobody wants to read it.
But at the same time, I did not want it to be a “celiac saved me and going gluten free is wonderful” blog either. Because that’s simply not how I feel.
Up to this point, I THINK I’ve done a pretty good job dealing with the realities of having celiac disease without being a downer.
But sometimes…man…sometimes it really just sucks having this disease.
I’ve only been diagnosed four years, but I sometimes forget what it’s like to feel…I don’t know…I guess normal.
A few instances in the past few days have really thrown me off course.
1) Right now…I feel like hell. My stomach feels like it wants to burst out of my body (think the “Alien” scene), I’m absolutely exhausted, my head is pounding and I can’t concentrate. It’s 5:30 and all I want to do is crawl into bed. Paints a pretty picture, doesn’t it?
2) Last night…I just wanted a quick bite before bed and as everyone else in the family just grabbed this or that to their delight, I was stuck. I hadn’t prepared anything. I didn’t want to nosh on crap. And so I went to bed hungry…and bitter.
3) Two nights ago…I was at a friend’s house where I’ve been many, many times. The host is wonderful to me and she always makes sure I am well taken care of. So I’ve pretty much gotten to know what I can and can’t have at her house. She had some shrimp out with cocktail sauce. In the past, she has always used McCormick’s cocktail sauce, which is gluten free. I assumed that’s what was in the bowl. So I dipped and downed a shrimp.
Celiac rule #1…ALWAYS ASK.
I didn’t and it turned out it wasn’t McCormick’s but a premade store brand. No idea what was in it.
100% my fault for 1) not waiting until she explained what’s safe for me (which she always does); and 2) not verifying before I ate it. Just lazy and stupid and I took it for granted.
But sometimes, you just don’t want to deal with it. You don’t want to be a drag on other people. You just don’t want to TALK about it.
Was I glutened? I have no idea. And frankly, at this point in time, I don’t really give a sh*t.
Welcome to a celiac’s life.
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better already.
If you need to vent, leave a comment below and spew away.It just might help and it certainly can’t hurt.
Oh…and by the way, when I’m feeling this lousy, here’s my regimen: