I received the following email and if nothing else, I thought we could help a fellow celiac out and have some fun at the same time.
Hey Gluten Dude…I am a 33 year old Type 1 diabetic, Mom to 2 beautiful munchkins, and a Navy wife. Whew! I thought I had enough on my plate but then I was feeling sick and having a mental breakdown and I pieced together that I may have Celiac. Well after testing it was confirmed and I have been gluten free for 4 months and have never felt better! I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Came to find out it was just the gluten that was making me crazy.
My question for you is how do you deal with the whole diet freaks?
People keep telling me I am so ‘lucky’ and eating gluten free isn’t that bad. It drives me nuts but I keep my mouth shut. I have a handful of friends that have told me they ‘wished they had Celiac so they could be skinny like me’!!!! Eeeek! I do not want to be rude, but I wish there was a way to communicate how hard it is to have celiac without seeming whiny and dramatic.
I would love a one liner to say when they tell me that it’s not that bad.
Thanks so much dude!!
So what do you say folks? Let’s come up with some great one-line responses. And feel free to be as “creatively honest” as you would like.
If someone tells you you’re lucky you have celiac disease, you say ______________________________.
68 thoughts on “She Says: I Wish I had Celiac Disease So I Could Be Skinny. You Say: _____________”
How about, “Well, if explosive diarrhea is the way you want to lose weight, then just take a handful of Ex-lax every day.” 🙂
“Well, if you’re that committed, I suppose you could always become a crack/crystal meth/heroin addict instead…?”
I had a few people make similar comments but mine was I thought I see you again and you would be really skinny. Not all people with celiac disease get super skinny.
Oh well what are you going to do
Celiac Disease is the best. I know I personally love the ever looming risk of intestinal cancer, and the high probability that I will develop Alzheimers and not recognize my family when I die. The skinniness is just a plus.
I personally think “Go f*ck yourself,” is a pretty reasonable response to someone telling you you’re lucky to have a chronic illness. But maybe that’s just me.
That’s what I’m talking about 😉
It feels awesome for my kind of attitude to be so well received. Why haven’t I commented here before? <3
Good question 😉
thanks for the morning coffee spit on my laptop, Jennifer!
and bravo. 🙂
That’s what I was thinking! hahaha.
I find a lot of times it doesn’t matter what you say…they are still going to think what they want!
And celiacs aren’t all skinny…. I am not a “skinny celiac”. I’d like to call myself a “curvy celiac” 🙂
yes, indeed, Ashley!!
I am a voluptuous, curvy celiac (after being emaciated once).
thank the heavens, I never lost my “ta tas” 🙂
Is it me, or is it getting hot in here 😉
🙂 🙂 🙂
Well said!! 😀 I couldn’t have thought of something better than that!
no, that was my first thought too.
Jennifer, you are awesome. Reading your clever reply was downright therapeutic for me.
Girl SAME! I just got diagnosed and if someone ever told me I was lucky that would also be my response!!!
Well not all Celiacs lose weight when they get glutened some like me actually gain weight. You like bloating? You like stomach pain that feels like you got punched in the gut? You like feeling like you have a combination of food poisoning and the flu? Well then you my friend are nuts if you want that.
This is me. I gain any where from 10-15 lbs over night when I get glutened.. I am over weight and have struggled with my weight all my life- when I learned I had celiacs and went gluten free I was expecting to lose a ton of weight- that is how is suppose to work right.. if you are too skinny pre- GF then you gain ..if you’re a fatty pre GF then you lose weight- nope not me. I balloned up like a grain fed cow packing on 35 lbs.. I did not begin to lose until I went on the Paleo diet. 2 years post Celiac- I don’t cheat -NOT EVER and I am NEVER Tempted by gluteny/dairy/soy/grainy goodies- not worth feeling like I am dying for two weeks with flu and food poisioning like symptoms exactly like you discribed is what happens to me..and then moodiness, hormonal issues, joint pain,allergies ,lack of sleep, the gluten rash, hair loss, mirgaines and no energry for a month.. nope not worth even considering -Now I get told that I am lucky my reactions are so severe to gluten and the other foods I have to avoid- it makes dieting so easy for me. what the heck ?? 1. People I am not GF to diet..I am eating the way I do to be well..2. have they seen me lately? I have been stuck at a size 18 for over a year- if I was GF to loose weight- it’s a pretty ineffective method don’t ya think cause I am still a fatty though a slightly smaller fatty than I was 2 years ago but not thin by an stretch and get to feel sick as well. Yes indeedy- I am lucky gal! O-o!
I want to know who these mysterious skinny celiacs are…everyone I know with it are the eat right, work out & gain weight from a whole grain diet people. Even my trainer (3 time olympic athlete) was stumped on how my food diary & pantry (he came & checked) had so little but was gaining weight, having severe muscle fatigue/spasms & chronic dehydration. Well go figure the 6 auto-immune diseases cover most of that
This is really old but I stumbled on this today… I am a “skinny Celiac.”* I lost about two inches off my previously bloated abdomen, then 30 pounds of actual weight when I cut out gluten. I went from 190 to 160 (I’m 5’10”) in about a year. People often comment on how “lucky” I am to “be” Celiac and to be so skinny. I usually reply, “Yeah, I eat a lot healthier now,” which is true…but, like, you don’t have to have Celiac to do that. Admittedly, in the months it took 4+ physicians to charge me thousands of dollars so my OB/GYN could randomly mention to me “cut out gluten and see what happens” (and another year before I got diagnosed), I developed a mild aversion to food. I don’t eat nearly as much as I used to.
Otherwise, sure, I’m so lucky that, when I eat a tiny bit of gluten, my scalp bleeds, my arms break out in scabs and bumps, my stomach painfully bloats, I have intractable abdominal pain, I can barely focus, and my butthole develops bloody fissures. I’m so lucky for the miscarriages it’s caused. Meanwhile, servers roll their eyes when I ask for a GF menu, while others look at me and say, “I’m not sure if what has gluten or not…you can try it and see.” Meanwhile, coworkers pressure me to just “eat around the crust” or “oh, you can have a bite – that can’t possibly hurt” or “you didn’t have problems with wheat for how many years… not eating it now is just a choice.” Also, get-togethers with family and friends is always fun when people decide it’s their purview to comment on how my lettuce-wrapped burger “is better with bread, you know.” And getting chastised at work for not going to the company potluck, where “oh, that doesn’t have gluten” but IT’S CALLED BARLEY SOUP SO I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S LITERALLY MADE OF GLUTEN. Yeah. I love how routine interactions become an exercise in not lighting people on fire with my eyes. So. Lucky.
How ’bout we not comment on each other’s bodies and food choices. How’s that for luck.
Well, 90% of cases are undiagnosed…so you may be in luck! Here is the number for my gastroenterologist. Enjoy your colonoscopy.
I like this one. Just the right amount of sarcasm.
If this ever happens to me, I will use yours. If I remember it. 😉
Actually, I think I would just walk away while muttering ‘stupid idiot’ loud enough for them to hear.
I like this one – ‘polite’ enough to use on a work acquaintance or other person who doesn’t qualify for Jennifer’s answer above, but firmly brings it back around to ‘it’s a disease, you nitwit’ territory.
I also love this reply. Witty and accurate.
Or how about the same with “Enjoy your upper endoscopy that will go all the way down to your small intestine to detect Villous Atophy”. Personally I think I like the “Go F* Yourself” comment above. Liberating for someone who is sick and tired of being sick and tired!
I’m allergic to gluten, not junk food. Sugar, popcorn, ice cream, chocolate, hard liquor, and many kinds of chips & dip are gluten-free, so guess what, there is no easy replacement for self-control.
“Take up smoking instead. You’ll look cooler, and a pack of smokes is still cheaper than Udi’s granola.”
And I wish I was deaf so I wouldn’t have to hear stupid comments like that.
I got this a lot when i first got diagnosed, i weighed maybe 100 lbs. I would say “well if you want to feel like your body is killing its stuff from the inside out then please join me, but i get dibs on the bathroom.”
Here’s a few good ones from my Facebook page:
“Thanks, dying a few times can really thin you out.”
“After I stop laughing, can I just slap them?”
“I’d gladly carry around 20 extra lbs for some energy and a loaf of Mrs. Baird’s bread.”
“Which gf plan are YOU following?! Cuz we chunky on this one.”
“I would say Are you out of your f***ing mind?”
I look at them like they have lobsters crawling out of their ears. Just like wait staff at restaurants roll their eyes at me when I ask if they have an gluten free menu.
“Yeah… I do, too!”
Actually, I do have Celiac Disease, but you’d never know it from that – I am heavier due to an autoimmune inflamatory disorder and am on a special diet for that, too…. Let’s see, the autoimmune issues also encompass osteoartiritis, and played havoc with my knee, so I had to have a total joint replacement last summer, but the autoimmune issues also cause my body to really like making scar tissue, so that hasn’t resolved….
I fugure by now they will have gotten frustrated and walked away. I would have. 🙂
Well, the cool emoticon of someone slapping someone upside the head repeatedly would not upload for me, so here is an alternative response
that may work 🙂
Oh, way too funny!!!! It’s all in the delivery too! Whew, thanks
for that, Irish. (I’m still laughing and stomping my foot)
well, Sue, it appears you “get me”.. Cheers, IH
And I wish I was an asshole so I could say insensitive things to people with chronic illnesses that can be deadly… but we can’t all have our way can we?
Sorry, but my reply is for the original letter writer. There are no funny retorts for this. You need new friends because real friends don’t treat each other that way.
All joking aside, I was thinking the same thing, Mardee.
NO ONE I know would say anything so insensitive to me.
They all watched helplessly as I dwindled down to nothing before my diagnosis.
yeah, nothing shouts “sexy” like skin and bones, ,bald patches from hair loss, lost muscle mass, cognitive decline, sizzling nerve pain, miscarriages osteopenia, osteoarthritis………. and a pair of size 4 jeans
That was so me 4 years ago, and now that I wear size 12 and have color to my face they think I’m all healed. If only it were that simple.
I am grateful no one has said something so insensitive to me about having celiac. I honestly think my head would spin around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist movie.
My first thought would be to try to educate them by asking “Do you honestly think it’s lucky to wake up every morning being afraid that every single thing I eat or drink might make me sick?”
And the snarky side of me would reply “No, lucky would be for you to win the lottery so you could buy a new brain and some decent manners you insensitive ignoramus!”
Sheesh! I feel better.
L U C K Y –> Left Untreated Celiac Kills You
Good luck would be when the Celiac just up and disappears without a trace. Bad luck would be having it given to you by a parent at birth. Good luck is making it through an hour or day or week or month without some sort of gluten exposure caused by someone else’s casual attitude. Bad luck is finally knowing what you suffer from, and realizing that your set of family and friends and associates can go on without you fairly easily…and have already done so. At that point, for some, good luck might be the quick onset of death.
Some jokester: “You’re lucky to have celiac disease!”
Me: “You’re absolutely right. And, this great fortune has allowed me to reevaluate life, affect rapid upheaval in all aspects of it, and appreciate the comfort of the inevitability of eternal sleep more than ever before.”
Jokester: “I’m sorry…”
Me: “For what? Haven’t you ever heard of the dead cat’s bounce?
Jokester: “I’m sorry, I need to rephrase that…I wish that I had celiac disease, so I could be enlightened like you, and skinny too!”
Me: “I cannot grant your wish myself, but I do congratulate you on your forward thinking, and hope you fare very well in your quest.”
Gosh, I just recalled ! Here is one cool comeback I offered to someone a year ago when he faced cruel and disparaging comments from some jerk he encountered at work::
“well, the treatment for celiac is a gluten free diet, but sadly, there is no cure for assholery.”
Exactly. Similar to “you can’t fix stupid.” 😉
I use that term all the time…”can’t fix stupid” or “stuck on stupid”..great terms especially for people who tell me they need those kind of carbohydrates for energy…that’s the only way to get them they say!!! HUH????
My favorite one! Haha.
Thank you IrishHeart! You’ve totally made my day with your comments!!!
When people make stupid remarks like this in my presence I tell them the C.Difficile diet is far more effective. I lost 10 pounds in 10 days on it! Of course that’s because I was too sick to eat, I almost died and it triggered the onset of Celiac……but hey, if weight loss is your goal then why not acquire as many diseases and illnesses as you can! Its a small price to pay for skinniness!
I have been trying to think of a witty, yet tasteful reply, but have yet to come up with one.
Luckily, I have the version which involves very generous curves, so am unlikely to suffer the skinny comments.
I am brewing a few choice phrases for those who judged my weight gain though….
(But mostly I am treasuring every single healthy happy day I have 🙂 )
I get asked this all the time. I am a skinny Celiac and those comments are so annoying. I’ve been trying to think of a witty comment to say back but never could. I really enjoyed reading all of these, there are some really good ones!
“Gosh, cancer ALSO works…”
This kind of comment is never appreciated. Must be some real airheads this lady is hanging around to say that.
To play devil’s advocate, there are a few factors to take into account when considering whether coeliac disease can make you thin or not. Firstly, because you have an awareness of diet, you’re inclined not to shove any old convenient crap down your throat when hungry, also, a lot that is quick and easy to snack on when out and about but is also gluten free tends to be healthy, salads, fruit, etc. I’ve noticed as well that it tends to be the more expensive brands of things that don’t pad things out with various cereals. e.g. Green and Blacks chocolate is gluten free, Cadbury’s dairy milk is not. So because it’s more expensive, you find that you don’t buy and consume nearly as much. Also, there aren’t really any down market places that are GF, so because you’re having to go to nicer restaurants you eat better food. You also turn into a good cook, because you mostly have to make meals from scratch.
Of course all this can be achieved through some thought and awareness of what you’re eating, having coeliac disease will force you to take these steps, but it’s certainly not a boon to anyone’s existance or weight. There are no positives from suffering from it and I’m certain that the women in question considered anything of what I said. I’m also only going off my beautiful girlfriend as an example, who lives a very healthy lifestyle, but she did anyway before she was diagnosed.
Are you outta your damn mind?!
“For people with celiac disease, a gluten-free diet is essential. But for others, “unless people are very careful, a gluten-free diet can lack vitamins, minerals, and fiber,” says Dr. Peter Green.”
He’s joking right…that has to be the most insane thing I’ve ever heard….
Love, love all the comments! Lol. It’s sad that people say these things to me, but now I have a few responses to use instead of just staring at them with my mouth open in disbelief! Haha. Thanks again, you all are awesome 🙂
To be honest, sometimes I myself feel I am “lucky” that some of the many things I shouldn’t be eating make me sick. Other people who are made less sick by them continue to eat them and never ask the question of whether they are causing themselves long-term irreversible damage by eating those things.
“Awe sweetie you’re not THAT fat!” that should shut them up. My son is the one that suffers and people comment on how cute it is that he’s so tiny (at 2 he could wear 6mo shorts and 12 mo Ts) I would like to say “you too could have and Ethiopian baby minus the flies, ALMOST suitable for the next Jolie/Pitt adoption!” Ignorant answer for the ignorant.
I had an overweight coworker actually tell me the other day that she would rather be overweight and be able to eat so many foods than be skinny like me and have to deal with what I’m going through. I REALLY REALLY appreciated it – felt so understood!
I think I would tell them that “Wait! Celiacs are skinny? I’ve been doing this all wrong!”
Or perhaps that I’m “lucky” much like my friend with Tourette’s is “lucky because he can say whatever he wants whenever he wants”.
God. Stupid people suck.
Yes, being scared to eat is great!
A morbidly obese person just the other day put me down for being “blessed with such a great figure”. RIGHT! I have to have enough self control to NOT eat foods that I love AND a person without sufficient self control to stop KILLING themselves with food is putting me down for my self control to control my disease.