Let’s Talk About Poop

celiac diarrhea

Today’s topic of discussion
Is simple and clear
We’re talking about our bodies
And the stuff that comes out of our rear

I know it’s not easy
And it may make you feel a bit loopy
But what is more natural
Than taking a little poopie?

No need to be squeamish
It’s not something to miss
As we converse about what happens
When I squeeze a Hershey’s Kiss

You see ever since celiac
My deuces have been runny
For all of you in the same boat
You know that this ain’t funny

It’s been awful, it’s been messy
When I go in the dumpy
There is just nothing fun
When I push out a grumpy

Celiac does a number
On my intestinal tract
Out of nowhere I get that feeling
“OMG…I’ve got to take a crap!”

I run to the bathroom
Or you can call it the pooper
But no matter what you call it
I drop a nasty state trooper

So six years and running
I’ve taken my lumps
But now things have brightened
When I take my dumps

They’re solid, they’re clean
Like god meant them to be
Now it’s not so bad
Going to the crap factory

So what have I changed?
What have I done?
Why is going number two
Now as easy as going number one?

Let me explain
I’ll lay it all out on the table
Why not it’s not so unpleasant now
When I lay some cable

Five months ago
I listened to a voice
That said feeling so crappy
Doesn’t need to be a choice

I’d already given up dairy
Along with soy and corn
But I needed to do more
And take the bull by the horn

So I hit the pharmacy
CVS to be exact
To purchase some vitamins
That perhaps my body lacked

I brought a Probiotic
Nature’s Bounty is the brand
And Vitamin B-complex
To help me in the can

I took them every morning
I didn’t miss a day
I wished and prayed and hoped
That my loose doodies would go away

And boy oh boy wouldn’t you know it
Within a week I said “See ya”
To all those chocolate squirts
And nasty diarrhea

Now I’m in and out
I don’t make a gigantic fuss
Dare I say it’s almost enjoyable now
Riding the porcelain bus?

So if you’ve got some issues
When you’re in the loo
Try to do as I did
And see if it helps your poo

Again…that’s Probiotics and B-complex
This is my big scoop
I really hope it helps
Next time you take a poop

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9 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Poop”

  1. G Dude’s bloggin’ ’bout No. 2 strains
    Pro bi complex stopping potty pains
    But this post causing something amiss
    I’ll not eat another Hershey’s Kiss

    Thanks Dude!

  2. You said it, Hap!
    No more kisses for me.
    As they will forever
    Be associated with the potty.
    But all that aside,
    The Dude’s got the facts.
    Just be careful when you flush,
    ‘Cause there’s more in the stacks.

  3. I’m happy for you! There is lots of evidence that folks with celiac have gut dysbiosis, so those probiotics should help crowd out bad bugs and help add to the diversity in there. Unfortunately, for many of us it’s not that easy, because many with celiac and NCGS have microscopic colitis. You might too– have you had a colonoscopy with biopsies? We have to avoid a variety of food triggers (corn, soy, eggs, dairy, many GF grains, etc), NSAIDS and other drugs, and even some probiotics that can make us react.

    A word of caution about B-complex. Many people (especially caucasians) have gene mutations (You’ve heard of MTHFR?) that prevent us from being able to use folic acid. If you have 2 copies of one of these mutations, it can even mean folic acid is downright toxic for you. People with MTHFR mutations have trouble detoxing and need methylated forms of the B vitamins, so methylfolate instead of folic acid, and methylcobalamin for B12. You can find out your MTHFR status by ordering a 23&Me test for less than $100.

  4. Poetry in motion….. (or should I just say, with eye-roll, “Boys!!”?). A doctor once said that there are two kinds of people – those who look in the toilet afterwards, and those who don’t.

    That said, I’m glad you’re feeling better. I have been a huge fan of probiotics for many years due to yeast overgrowth tendencies (which my 2 kids seem to have inherited. And when I forgot to dole some out to my husband once for a few weeks, he started to complain of jock itch. Since we’re bein’ personal here…..).

  5. I am “running” to the store to get me some probiotics and B-Complex Dude (or should I say Doody?). Thanks for the tip. I go from one to the other. In other words, I am either so constipated that I don’t go for a week, or I have those darn Hershey squirts! Hopefully it will help either way! As I already take Folic acid daily for megaloblastic anemia (another Celiac problem—YAY…not!) B-Complex would probably do me a world of good!
    Thanks again Dude!

  6. On the advice of Gastro MD I started taking good quality Probiotic recently. Been gluten free for nine months , but still had gut issues. These probiotics are expensive, but worth every penny. What a difference it’s made in my life. Even my gut pain is gone.
    Started with Florastor a plant based yeast which is not affected by antibiotics ! Switched to Align, I take one pill a day. (No refrigeration needed for both )
    So far best price I’ve found for both is Costco

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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