Dude…I hate the bitter person I’m becoming

hate celiac disease

It’s beyond frustrating when you’re doing the right thing, eating the right gluten-free foods, and you still can’t heal. This fellow celiac is two months in, hating life and considering throwing it all away and eating gluten. She needs to heal physically and psychologically. Listen in as I offer some words of wisdom. Well…wisdom may be pushing it.

Podcast Transcription

You’re not just telling us what we want to hear. No, sir. No way. Cause we just want to hear the truth? Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.

Hello, hello, hello and happy December 8. Welcome to Dear gluten Dude. This is episode 10. Can you believe it already? Today we are going to talk about a woman who was diagnosed with celiac disease two months ago, but is really, really struggling not just physically, but also mentally. And is considering just going back on gluten, and just tossing it all the way.

Today, no sponsors, just like any other day. But I have added a map feature to my mobile app at glutendude.appapp. And that will be coming out in approximately two weeks. So please look for that. And now let’s just head to the inbox.

Dear Gluten Dude. I was diagnosed with celiac disease two months ago, had an endoscopy to confirm two weeks later and have been gluten free for six weeks. I still feel like shit. Before I was diagnosed, I was depressed and anxious and overweight for a long time. So when I started gluten free, I was excited to feel better. I thought my diagnosis and new way of life will be liberating. Now that I feel sick, I can add that I am angry and bitter and getting depressed again. I didn’t even lose half a pound. I’m keeping away from gluten free products because I see they are full of calories and garbage. I don’t know what else to do. I really like your blog, and you write many times reach out. So I decided to do that. Because I feel like giving up and eating gluten and forgetting about my diagnosis. I hate the bitter person that I am becoming; please send some wise words. Thanks.

Alright, let’s see wise words, wise words, wise words? How about one wise word and that word would be patience. I know you don’t want to hear but two months is just not that long into your journey. If anybody out there has been following me for a while, you know my journey. I went gluten free after my diagnosis and expected to feel better. Like on day two. Entering year two, I was still feeling like garbage and was frustrated, I was angry. I was a pain in the ass to my family. And yeah, let’s go in bitter also, and even depressed.

So let’s talk physical first; just stay the course, just stay the course, stay the course, stay the course, you’re doing the right thing. You’re not eating the gluten free junk food. The only thing that’s gonna fix that healing is staying true to your diet. not cheating and being patient. Now, possibly you have other food issues, maybe you’re allergic to dairy or soy or something else I had to play around with my diet before I finally found my health and that was giving up dairy. That helped a lot. So don’t give up. Please do not eat gluten. Don’t throw in the towel, you got a long life ahead of you. Your best years are ahead of you. So just don’t don’t do anything stupid. Now, as for your emotional state, I’m not gonna diagnose you here. I’m not gonna prescribe anything, obviously. But I will talk about my own journey a little bit.

In an 18 month stretch back in between 2007 to 2008 I was diagnosed with bladder cancer. And then six months later, I was diagnosed with celiac disease. And then a year later diagnosed with Multiple blood clots in both of my lungs, medical term, pulmonary embolisms, and my daughter was also struggling with some health issues. And I was a mess. And as we took my daughter to some different types of doctors to help her heal, and help her feel better. I discovered that I also needed some healing. And I also needed to feel better. And so I went on, I guess I won’t mention the medication, but I went on a medication. And you can always ask me privately what it is I’m happy to share. But it saved me. It just it took that it took that edge off it took; that ‘nothing’s ever gonna get better’ attitude off.

And then about seven or eight years later, due to various other reasons. I hit rock bottom and went on On a even stronger medication and boy did that saved my life. I am still on both medications. I am not saying anybody out there who are suffering should take medications. I’m not pro pharmacy, I’m not pro pill, I’m really pro doing the best you can to heal yourself. But sometimes you can’t heal yourself. Sometimes you do need some extra help. And sometimes there’s just a miswiring in your brain that that needs to be fixed. And that unfortunately, may come in the form of a pill.

So you know, life is too short. If you’re unhappy, if you’re feeling bitter about your diagnosis about your life, and there’s something you can’t fix on your own, or with a psychologist talking it through. There’s nothing wrong with getting little help. So my final words of wisdom, if I have any, is be patient with your diagnosis and your healing. And don’t settle for not feeling well. Both mentally and physically. You deserve to feel good, just like we all do.

And that my friends puts a wrap on episode 10 of deer gluten dude, as always, much appreciated for you tuning in. I know there are lots of podcast options out there. So it’s always cool when you pipe into mine. Just a reminder, I’m adding a map feature to the app in a couple weeks. Please check it out. Might be a nice gift for someone for the holidays, just saying. All right, I’ll see you next week folks. Bye bye.

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6 thoughts on “Dude…I hate the bitter person I’m becoming”

  1. I feel badly for anyone struggling with this glute free lifestyle. No one ever said it was easy, especially the first year, and it really does get better as time goes on. It isn’t just about the food, it’s also the kitchen set up, shopping, learning to read labels properly, learning how to order out in restaurants and when travelling, and much more. If you are still eating dairy, please check with your doctor as most newbies need to avoid it the first year to give the villi a chance to heal. In addition, you may also need to supplement Vit D and B, like the rest of us, as those are not in the food we eat. Those two things alone, should help you feel better. Besides the food choices, please check all spices, condiments, OTC and prescriptions to make sure those are also gf- and ask your pharmacist to flag your account. If you have not already done so, please ditch all wood cutting boards, bowls, utensils; stained plastic food containers, dented, stained or scratched cookware.(replace with stainless steel). If you use a DW, it’s ok to wash everything together- BUT, if you hand-wash, be sure to wash all gf things first using a separate sponge, dishtowel etc. Finally, do try to avoid the starchy snack foods and look for those made with whole grains, and stick with beef, pork, chicken, turkey, fish and plain fresh or frozen veggies. If you still need help, several on-line guides are available: Beyond Celiac has one, another is gluten.org/getting started – read all the sections. I suspect also gluten is still creeping into your system so if you can do all of these things and get your kitchen straightened out, I hope you do feel better soon. if not, we are all here to help.

  2. There are still times I feel frustrated and bitter but it took me over a year to feel any difference and my symptoms weren’t’ terribly strong to begin with so it felt more like a sudden deprivation with no reward than anything really helpful to me. The only thing that resolved quickly was my twice a week mild diarrhea.

    I do notice after two years on now that my reflux is pretty much gone and I feel more energy and less anxiety. However I do still get upset when there’s a restaurant I want to try but I know it’s not for me, or something like that.

    Still not a reason to go back to gluten though,

  3. I just feel like someone needs to mention thyroid and diabetes in this context. They are very common “comorbid” conditions with Celiac. These days diabetes wants to be called “pre-diabetes” and not treated until it’s very far advanced. There are already scholarly articles calling for mutual testing and diagnosis of diabetes and celiac. Ditto thyroid.

    If you look hard enough, you can find pubmed articles about gluten’s disruptive effects DIRECTLY on the thyroid’s enzymes for people who already have Celiac. I don’t mean, on your thyroid got sick randomly and coincidentally, I mean there is evidence that gluten actually affects the way the thyroid operates in some people. For me, I had to go to a doctor who would test for reverse-T3 before I found out my body was deactivating T3 before it could be used. No matter how much TSH testing you do, you can never diagnose that without a full thyroid panel.

    It’s not always just emotional. It’s not always just “hang in there.”

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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