Goodbye My Friend (A Poem Written to Gluten)

gluten poem

Tackling celiac with a sense of humor is an absolute must.

A fellow celiac who was just diagnosed wrote a poem to gluten and she shared it with me on Facebook.

I simply love it. And so I’m sharing it with you.

That’s how the internet works 😉



Goodbye, My Friend

Cookies, cake, and pie I ate
With gusto and abandon.
Danish and croissants on my plate,
My almost constant companion.

Spaghetti, rice and oatmeal, too,
I love it all the same.
And if I gained a pound or two,
I knew just who to blame.

But now my friend, you’ve made me frown,
Our time together has ended.
It seems that you have let me down.
My stomach you have offended.

Gluten, why did you do me this way?
Why do we have to part?
I’ve been in love with you forever and a day.
You’ve gone and broke my heart.

And so, my friend, I say goodbye
To all that I held dear.
And turn my back, lest you see me cry,
Our break up is quite clear.

I just might find I have a waist,
And small(er) my butt may get.
But you dear Gluten, are being erased.
I must try very hard to forget.

I look ahead to gluten free days,
Whatever that may bring.
As I come up out of my gluten haze,
To start a new beginning.

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23 thoughts on “Goodbye My Friend (A Poem Written to Gluten)”

  1. Sue in Alberta

    Excellent! Coming from a seriously “verse“ challenged person, I am impressed. I mean, I just never would have come up with `waist` and `erased`. I should get this checked cos I think it`s genetic……

  2. I woke up this morning and saw that Gluten Dude shared my poem! How wonderful. Hope it brings a smile to someone today. I had fun writing it. 🙂

  3. GD-

    Refreshing post. Great poem Brenda! Here is my ode to gluten:

    gluten, how you have wrecked me.
    invaded my world. changed who I can be.

    sadness. anger. despair.

    but I. I am stronger now.
    I am wiser now.
    you will not crush my soul,
    I will fight. I will grow old

    Jersey Girl
    “you can’t expect me to be fine
    I don’t expect you to care
    I know I’ve said this before
    but all of our bridges burned down”
    Maroon 5

  4. Anette on Long Island

    The poem made me smile. A well written adieu to gluten.
    We all remember that time of our diagnosis when we had
    to change the way we eat. But I do feel so much better now!

  5. I love this! My brother suggested recently that I do sort of like a funeral/burial ritual saying goodbye to all the foods that I miss and mourn every day (Peking Duck is #1 on the list). This poem can be the eulogy! Thanks GD. XOXO

    1. Rachel, your brother is right. It’s good to mentally let go of those gluteny things you love the most. Just remember that there are always ways to make a gluten free version of those dishes you love the most. Don’t ever give up on good food just because you have to be gluten free. I buried twinkies and big macs. Just sayin. 😉

  6. Kimberly Kuehl

    I love! My spouse and I have several songs, he is musician, not poems as of yet, but similar to rhyming lyrics. If I get a yes I may post, only ones that are fun, of course. We will probably be singing your poem tonight!:-)

  7. Love it!
    Just saw on the local news a beta in trial for an app.the app is called Wazinit. I am now using it. Thus far it’s working. a few hiccups have occured but I am assuming cuz it’s beta. I wish this had been around when I was first diagnosed. I literally just hold my phone over the bar code. It reads all I’ve listed as my “bad” foods and it gives me a smiley face for – GF or a frown because I can’t have it.It doesn’t do medicines though – I have written to them to tell them. But it’s cool.Just thought I’d share – I have no skin in this game. I just saw it on our local news and had to try it.

  8. Thankful for Whole Foods

    Hooray for poetry and songs and humor! Everyone needs more of them, us celiacs especially! Way to go Brenda and Jersey Girl, et. all …Celiac Poetry Society! No candles or caves required!

  9. Her poem is super cute and a lot of fun, but that’s not my Celiac poem. I gained 40 lbs after going gluten free due to a Celiac diagnosis. No small-er butt here!

    1. same here…45 lbs. weight gain. I don’t like it at all, the hubs says “I don’t care! it’s better than when I was worried about planning your funeral”

      He does make a good point!

      Cute poem!

      Reminds me of when we all wrote our “dear gluten letters”…remember Dude? 🙂 that was fun.

  10. Cute poem, but gosh, it doesn’t relate my experience at all! I wish a smaller butt and waist were what I got when I cut out gluten. Just the opposite for me, I started gaining weight like crazy, because for once in my life I was eating things my body could actually process. But don’t get me wrong, struggling to find a healthy weight is much preferable to feeling like death every single day.

  11. Cute cute poem!!! Very fun and a good way to say good bye. I, too, have gained weight. At least 20 lbs and it is not wanting to come off. Such as life! I need to do the whole 30 I think.

  12. love it! I’m a big fan of The Office and when I came in here today and saw the title “Goodbye Gluten” the first thing that came to mind was Michael Scott singing Goodbye Toby to his nemesis Toby, only change that to Gluten instead of Toby… lol!

  13. Today at 10:03 PM

    It is funny. Today the Daily News and other main stream papers are talking about a recent study to suggest the Gluten Free diet is DOING MORE HARM THEN & & The main stream media is as well attacking Gluten Free labeling as something very bad according to this article Meanwhile actual benefits have been proven for those who have inflammatory bowel diseases. and in Asia Gluten Free is found to be a benefit for those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome

    So there is benefits to going Gluten Free. A while back Dr. Peter Gibson said the Gluten Intolerance was false and that the FODMAP diet was the answer. However a recent study unless you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome FODMAP should NOT be a diet of choice. Again an actual published study

    So once again the main stream press attacks the Gluten Free Diet when the diet does in my analysis more good then harm and does help many elements period.

  14. Nice one …. Enjoyed reading it. I don’t have coeliac but know a lot about it.
    Here is something I just penned

    Bitter-sweet !

    Feel heavy on my feet
    Like a ballon I just bloat
    My gut has lost control
    Was it the sphagetti or the bread roll ?

    Barley Rye Oats and wheat
    With these I can never cheat
    No not even as a treat
    Oh dear oh dear it is such a big feat!

    It’s always what I eat
    Luckily it’s never when it’s just meat
    So with friends when I meet
    Have to avoid what’s on my sheet

    So it’s with a heavy heart I take retreat
    Parting’s always Bitter sweet
    There’s still many a sweet meat
    So friends with coeliac despond not
    Let’s explore new venues to eat

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

I AM NOT someone who embraces this gluten-free craziness. I didn’t find freedom, a better life or any of that other crap when I got diagnosed. With all due respect to Hunter S. Thompson, I found fear and loathing of an unknown world. But if I can share my wisdom, tell my stories and make the transition easier on you, I’ve done my job.

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