Remember when Domino’s came out with a gluten-free crust in 2012? Refresh your memory here. They marketed it to the gluten-free/celiac communities, but then added a disclaimer that it may not be safe. But then the National Foundation for Celiac Disease partnered with them to promote it. The whole things was just…weird.
Well…IHOP just announced they are making pancakes for the people who eat gluten-free. Is it for the people who NEED to eat gluten-free?? Good question. Let’s see what IHOP has to say:
We do not claim that items marked as gluten-friendly are “gluten free” because we cannot confirm that they meet the FDA’s definition of “gluten free” (< 20 parts per million of gluten). Because we have multiple sources of gluten in our shared cooking and prep areas, including common fryer oil, we are unable to guarantee that any menu item can be completely free of gluten or allergens.
So A for honesty. And I mean that. Even though gluten-friendly is a ridiculous term, at least they are not trying to pass it off as safe for us. The thing is…I don’t know one person who eats gluten-free as a lifestyle choice. And I know EVERYBODY. If you are not eating gluten, I would think that means you need to avoid gluten for health reasons. Then wouldn’t a little gluten NOT be good for you? Again…I just don’t know who this is marketed to.
And how did the press handle the news? Do I have to ask?
Fox & Friends did a segment that I can’t even begin to describe. Here you go.
And multiple outlets used the same headline: “IHOP gets into the gluten-friendly game”. Yep…it’s a game I guess.
Look…we’ve been down this path before and we’ll be down it again. So let’s have some fun with this one. Using the initials IHOP, let’s talk about “gluten-friendly” pancakes; how we feel about it, why you can’t eat them, and what would happen if you ate them. I’ll go first.
I‘d Have Odd Poopy
I Hate OsteoPorosis
I‘m Hurling On People
I Have Ooodles of Pain
I Heavily Object to these Pancakes
Your turn…
It Heralds Overwhelming Putridity
Idiotic Heretics Offering Poison
Ignoramus’s Hoopla Offends People
Inciting Horrific Obnoxious Poo
Keep up the GREAT work, Dude! I’m so glad you’re watching out for us.
If Hell Offered Pancakes
Iron Has Only Plummeted
I’d Have Oversized Paunch
Inflammatory Hell Overloads Person (Hmmm, hell came up twice…)
To sum up:
Irritated Hoser won’t Order the freakin’ Pancakes
5 stars to: If Hell Offered Pancakes
Love this one!!!!!
I had an interesting conversation with a health inspector who said that technically the FDA has rules for gluten in restaurants which would make the inspectors responsible to check that the restaurant keeps cross contamination down to a level that’s appropriate for people who need to avoid gluten (and other allergens, I’m pretty sure it was due to the FALCPA law). But each state has to adopt the new rules whenever they come out and my state hasn’t done that yet. I’ve been meaning to revisit those emails and get some more clarity. But I”m dealing with a health crash and I’m afraid my mind may not be the clearest atm. If anyone wants to get down and dirty with regulations, here’s the link: https://www.fda.gov/food/fda-food-code/adoption-fda-food-code-state-and-territorial-agencies-responsible-oversight-restaurants-and-retail If nothing else it shows that a national chain like IHOP would be spending oodles of time trying to figure out how to deal with gluten in each state, unless they just opted for the most restrictive one and did that. However, it sounds like that’s not even close to their goal.
I Hiss at OPportunists
Moe’s also has a “Gluten Friendly” menu. I find these menus comically patronizing in an “I’m gonna laugh so I don’t get bitter” way 🙂
GLUTEN-FRIENDLY DIET
In these dishes, we’ve pulled back on the gluten, mostly. They’re gluten-friendly, so not quite gluten-free, but there’s definitely less of it. You could say that the gluten in these dishes is quite…nice, and friendly.
Ihop Hates Ogni* Person
every in italian