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    As a wheat-eating husband of an otherwise celiac family, the attitude of these uncaring partners abhors me. I can’t imagine subjecting my family to the pain of neglect and indifference. That’s not love.

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      Gluten Dude

      Is this love, is this love, is this love
      Is this love that I’m feelin’?

      No…it’s not.

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    I’ve had two different significant others in the 12 years since I’ve been diagnosed. I’ve been fortunate to not only have supportive partners but those who would advocate for me when I just didn’t feel like explaining it to umpteenth waiter or waitress about the burden of our disease.
    But I would totally expect that kind of support because that’s the kind of support I would give. So for those who have unsupportive partners- what is the root cause? Are they uneducated? Narcissistic? Or just not in love enough? Because in my book, if you love someone, you’re not going to ignore something that could make them sick or unhealthy. Celiac folks- you deserve better. This disease is stressful enough without a selfish partner to deal with. ♥️

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    I don’t understand how some partners are unable (unwilling?) to support someone in coping with their disease, but for those who are in that situation I am glad you made this post, Dude. Sometimes we resign ourselves to lack of support, or even abuse, until we hear “That is not okay! You deserve support!” enough times to seek the support we deserve. Also, I am thankful you posted this because it made me remember how much support I get at home. I made sure to take the time to thank my husband for being awesome!

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    I love my husband, and he’s usually very understanding, but with this topic sometimes not so much. This has led to a few long drawn out arguments where I’ve had to repeatedly explain that I’m not overreacting about avoiding gluten. I understand that he gets frustrated that I will only go to 4 local restaurants, and that 2 of them are expensive so we rarely go to them. However, he seems to be coming around.. can’t remember the last time he suggested that “a little gluten shouldn’t matter”, or that heat will somehow magically destroy gluten. So I guess with some people it just takes time and patience.

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    I followed this blog for years, and always found it so encouraging and informative. I am thirty-five, and was very lucky to be diagnosed in the eighties when I was only two years old – we lived in the Seattle area where much of the early research was being done, and doctors thankfully did the appropriate tests when they noticed I had temporarily stopped growing. While I am SO thankful to be healthy and to have family and friends who are extremely supportive and understanding, it can be a bit tough never knowing the spontaneity of dating without celiac disease. I still have a ton of anxiety over rejection when it comes to dating (on top of that normal fear of rejection!). But in dating, I have often made the mistake of trying to hide my celiac disease as long as possible from pure fear, from being sick of hearing someone say “but I have a friend with celiac who eats out here and cross-contamination doesn’t bother him,” or shame from just the dead silence when I suggest an activity or coffee shop over a romanticized ideal of a dinner date. So, I am so thankful for this post, since I had not previously thought of finding emotional support from other celiacs, which I think might lift my spirits a little when it comes to feeling a bit left out of the dating world – and maybe that feeling of isolation won’t be permanent, if I somehow find a partner who is as supportive as my friends and family. Thank you for a post that has made me feel like there are others in the same boat!

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      Gluten Dude

      Community is what it’s all about. And no need to hide your disease (though I understand the rationale).


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