I hate celiac. You hate celiac. We all hate celiac.
With all that pent up anger, people need a place to vent.
Well…I invite you to lie on the Dude’s couch (figuratively speaking) and spew away.
I’m starting a new feature called “Celiac Rant of the Day”. (Real emails from real people.)
Need to vent?
Just send me an email with your rant and I’ll post it on my blog. No names will be used.
There’s just one rule: Once you’re done venting, you need to move forward and put the negative vibes on the back burner. Positive energy brings positive results.
Don’t you feel better already??
Here is today’s rant:
I have been extra emotional about having Celiac lately.
It seems whenever I call one of my 4 sisters or my mom they will try to get off the phone quickly, while I can clearly hear them chewing. I can tell they are out to eat. They then say apologetically they are sorry they didn’t invite me because they know I can’t go anyway.
I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does.
Just yesterday I went to the store and had a total meltdown when I asked the meat counter guy if the brats were gluten free. He told me I could find frozen ones in the health mart and I spout off, fighting back tears, “that taste like crap!”
I then continue to try to find my sucky dinner for the night, but it was too late….the tears had already started to roll.
So here I am, a well known 36 year old mother who works at a large company in town and I totally break down.
I am not a cryer at all, but lately it has been difficult. I am trying to date a guy, I have to deal with family and friends who are not mindful of my inability to have normal food, the stores suck, I can’t go out to eat, I hate to cook and everyone and their brother gives me recipes they would never try.
I am just pissy and get sick of people saying “Oh they have that whole section in the store you can shop in!” I usually reply, “the selection of brownie mix is larger than the GF section.”
I am just cranky about it!
There…venting to someone who gets it is much better than venting to someone who tries to give me stupid positive advice when they have no clue what it’s like!
I always want to punch them in their face π
Anything you can say to help this celiac? Leave your comment below.
I’d like to add my two cents… I’m a 35 year old mom of two teenagers and wife of an awesome Army pilot. Sunday will be our 17th anniversary, even! Anyways… I was diagnosed with celiac during my husband’s longest deployment (15 months). He was so sweet to consider my needs more often than not, but he brings up a valid point. It’s really hard for the general public to show concern for those of us who aren’t physically afflicted with things as challenging as Type 1 diabetes and celiac disease. (Yes, I have both.) We are faced with pictures of bald children undergoing cancer treatment and we all feel badly for them, but for those of us with “hidden” ailments, we’re just expected to press on, because we don’t have outward signs of dealing with these problems. Unfortunately, more people than not are so focused inwardly, they just can’t see past the end of their own noses, so looking for sympathy from some misguided loved ones or complete strangers just doesn’t help. Seek support from other celiacs, and if you don’t have a local support group, create one! We all had to get creative with our meal prep, just to avoid boredom and to try new things… Make some time to help make yourself feel better, and do something nice for yourself! It can be as simple as setting aside time to read, or go for a little walk if you feel up to it! Surround yourself with positive and supportive people as much as possible, and try to leave the world a better place than you found it. π
I think we can get caught up in all of the things that we can’t have. There are a lot of things that we CAN have! Yes it sucks to not be able to go to a restaurant…. I still go anyway. I just might not eat. But I can still go and hang out with my family.
I have gotten really great at cooking since I have been diagnosed. To the point where not one meal I make even seems gluten free! My kids don’t even miss it. I am super sensitive to gluten free substitutes and corn, too…. I am creative, no one misses it!
YOU CAN DO THIS… It is just time to change your thinking!
I don’t disagree Leslie. Positive thinking can go a long way.
Sometimes it just feels good to vent though.
I feel better just reading this rant! AWESOME!
When I say AWESOME, I ‘m referring to GlutenDudes opportunity to vent. Not referring to the person’s experience. However, I can certainly identify!!!
This sounds familiar. I have almost burst into tears while eating somewhere with people where “you can have a salad!” someone would excitedly proclaim as they order pizza and wings. Wow, I can have a salad! I just love eating salad and smelling the food everyone else is eating that smells so delicious. But I should be grateful that I can have salad, right? Wrong. This is my “punch in the face moment,” when someone spouts that salad crap to me. Screw salad. I want pizza and wings that I didn’t have to cook.
So much yes to this! It would be different if I was doing this by choice, but when I go out with friends and they get excited that I can eat a SALAD while they eat my formerly favorite foods – that I gave up UNWILLINGLY – I want to punch faces. Hard.
I just had a similar conversation with a group of friends I had planned to have lunch with. I wanted to go to a place that I know has great GF options, but they wanted to try a new place in town. When I said I’d rather not go there because they didn’t have any options for me the response was “You can have salad!”. Ugh. Yeah, I like salad from time to time, but you know I’d rather frequent places who put some effort into not only ensuring my meals are safe to eat – but they actually taste good too.
Salad used to be one of my favorite things to eat……… now I tolerate it at best!
sad. really sad. I feel for you!
Had to laugh (bitter laugh that is though). On our first trip out for lunch after our 3 year old was diagnosed the waitress said she could have a salad…………… Ever seen a 3 year old keen on salad? They might exist, but mine wasn’t looking forward to a salad lunch. Thank goodness I brought some yummy fluffy homemade buckwheat pancakes for her. (So she happily ate the pancakes and went off to play again, none the wiser of my irritation with the stupidity of the staff).
Often times the freaking salad is cross contaminated. If they’re making sandwiches, they’re dipping those latex gloves into the same lettuce bin for your salad and another person’s sandwich. Oh, and they’ve probably been handling bread all day long. That salad bin is just full of crumbs. I saw this a lot in culinary school. It was scary. I wouldn’t eat anything that I didn’t make myself.
A group of ladies are going out to a lunch in a couple of weeks. I’ve been invited. Unfortunately, they selected a restaurant that made me sick some months ago. I called and talked to the manager once my brain fog cleared, but she never got back to me. She said she would talk to the chef and call me back. Nope. Never happened. So, I am going to eat at home and then just have a beverage when I get there. I might get questions from the other women, but I just don’t trust them. The scariest part is that the restaurant is now offering gluten free pasta on their menu. Until they prove outright to me that they’ve really changed their procedures I will keep it on the “Do not eat here” list.
The last couple of times I ordered a salad–which was all there was to eat–it arrived, first, with a huge crumb obviously sitting on top, after I’d gone into the whole spiel about cross contamination with the waitress. The second instance, it was also cross contaminated with flecks of cheese–I’m also allergic (throat closing up kind of allergic) to dairy. And I’d told them this. I’m terrified to eat out. I always seem to get sick afterwards. I don’t know how all these celiacs claim to be able to eat out.
Carrie:
“You Can Have A Salad”. Oh, the venom that flows through my veins when I hear that. A salad? A SALAD? You’re eating lasagna and I can have a freaking salad?
I get it. π
I feel you! A good punch in the face! Lol.
Loving this new feature, Dude. Not sure if misery loves company, or if it’s just nice to hear (read?) that other people “get it.”
Ok, time for me to fess up: When I first went gf I threw horrible tasting gf food….in stores and especially at home. I mean, I would grab a box of horribly tasting gf Mac n cheese and throw it down on the shelf, on the floor, followed by some cursing. yeah it wasn’t cool at all. I was so angry that I had to change my entire life. Β Lol I laugh now but then it wasn’t good…I figured I need to change the way I thought about it and although it took me awhile to get where I am today, I’m glad I went through the hard stuff because it make me stronger and I felt like I could help others who are in the same boat as me.Β
After awhile you learn the tricks of the trade, what’s good to eat, what’s available, planning, you learn to advocate for yourself and educate others. You learn to love this new life because you may no longer feel bad 100% of the time. It’s worth it in the end.Β
It’s not all gumdrops and unicorn flavored rainbows all the time. I’m human and I still get angry that I have to ask about cc or having not to eat at certain places and parties but it’s a part of this new gig and we just have to learn to accept or tolerate it to the best of our abilities. I think venting is a great way to get it all out and start that emotional healing.
Connecting with others like Gluten Dude has helped me develop a support system that I was lacking before. My immediate family has been so supportive through this and through educating them things are getting even better because I’ve explained to them exactly what’s going on. I have even printed off information for them in Spanish as that’s their native language. Most of my friends are supportive and look out for me. The friends that aren’t are ones I don’t really speak to anymore… I could go on and on about friends and family that don’t support or care but I won’t. All I can tell you is if you can talk to your family and friends about it, do it. Tell them how you feel and what your experiencing. If they refuse to understand what you’re going through and support you then there’s really nothing you can do about it. At least you have done your part to explain etc.Β
It’s really hurtful when folks don’t support us but at least we know that we have people who are in our corner and who have gone and are going through it.Β
Let’s all meet up and throw horrible tasting food…lol what a great emotional release that would be!Β
To me the hardest part is traveling on the road and feeling paranoid of not finding anything or a place to eat.
Eating salad assumes your intestines are up to it, and it still may be contaminated.
Knowing we are all going through the same BS is very helpful and I am grateful for that.
I am also grateful there is now more gluten free options in stores than ever, having dealt with this for over 12 years.
I’m trying to throw a surprise party for my gluten eating husband and his friends and I know he would want me to eat too. I can’t have all that gluten in the house so I have picked a restaurant that serves both. Of course, mine is on the side and separate from the regular food. Then I have to get a cake – wheat or not? It’s hard. Maybe a regular cake and a GF cupcake for me? It’s hard.
I’d like to punch the gluten gods in the mouth because my brain deserves a better body!
Thanks for venting and making me feel more normal. Like others have said, I wouldn’t wish this in anyone else, but am glad to find others who I can relate to. I do my best to look at the bright side, but sometimes I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT, OKAY? π I love that J shared she threw GF food. LOL I had to read the sentence a couple times thinking she meant to say “throw out.” I laughed so hard when I realized she literally threw a box of mac n cheese. And I can totally relate to the family/friends thing. The latest is I didn’t get invited on a family vacation. I guess those family members aren’t that supportive in the best of times so I can’t expect much now. They know I haven’t been able to travel due to celiac, but they could’ve at least ASKED or not tried to hide that they were leaving the country. F***!
Someone not inviting you because you have celiac is wrong in about 5 different ways and I am so sorry this happened to you, Jen. π
You can travel, if you are physically able; you just need to do some planning.
Do not let celiac (or anyone) get in your way of living your life fully.
Lol I should have said literally! Good times…lol
To this day when ever I see Annie’s gf Mac n cheese I give it the evil eye and the urge to throw a box is ever so tempting! Lol
We’re here for ya! Ah so sorry about the family issues. Sometimes people are very egocentric and don’t think or care about anyone else. We just have to keep our heads up and let them haters hate.
I have no time for bs!
I agree. Traveling makes it tricky and requires planning and having a travel kit and a cooler. We have one that plugs into the lighter.
And while I “get it” and everyone has a right to bitch and vent and rant a little, after you do it, you need to figure out how to change what’s making you so angry.
I’m with Leslie, time to change your thinking.
I have celiac and as much as I hate that it tried to kill me, I do not see how anyone can say ” there is nothing to eat” because that’s simply not true.
No one has to have a “crappy dinner”.
You can and should eat delicious food–whether you are a celiac or not. I eat well every day. Fettucine alfredo, meatloaf and sweet potatoes, fresh, steamed veggies, breads of all kinds, Chicken marsala, Risottos of all kinds, Brazilian cheesy rolls, banana nut muffins, Mesclun salad with goat cheese and walnuts, chili, grilled salmon, fruit salads and smoothies etc. etc.,,,,,….for your own sanity, learn how to cook!!
Do not rely on packaged stuff to feed yourself for the rest of your life. There is no nutritional value in it..
MOST MEATS are gluten free. It is rare that processed meats contain gluten, and it happens more frequently in Europe. It is a myth that gluten is injected into things. And just so you know, Boar’s HEAD brats are GF.
My “rant” topic — would be more about the inconvenience factor when traveling.
I WANT GOOD, GF dedicated food to go JOINTS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!
I can envision it, I can plan it, but I do not have the $$$$$$$$ to do it.
Agree Irish and actually just added a new rule if you want to rant (see above in bold).
GREAT idea, GD!!
Ranting is good. It is cathartic.
Then, it’s time to let go and move the hell on.
π
Thank you Irish Heart for saying everything I was thinking. Great points.
Gluten Dude, I love that you are allowing others to vent through your blog. I believe it is a very important part of having this disease – knowing there are many others out there that totally “get it” and have been there many times before. Of course I understand the benefit of the “positive attitude”, but sometimes dammit – we just want to vent! π
In my experience, the venting process is also extremely important to “newbies” freshly diagnosed and sent out into the gluten-free world…. sometimes completely alone and scared. In all honesty, most of them don’t want to hear the “you can do it” or “it’s not that bad” just yet. They want to cry and be pissed off and throw things….and yes – maybe punch people in the face! We have all been there, we know that for them – this IS a big deal and a huge change in their lifestyle. So, I think we need to be there for others going through that part of the process and not always have the 100% positive, cheery attitude to go along with it like this is the best thing that ever happened to us. I am currently coaching two newbies through this process – and they are both terrified. But, one told me she couldn’t keep looking online for information because most info she found acted like this was “no big deal” and that’s not how she currently feels. She wanted to hear how other people struggled – just like she is struggling and that she has every right to be angry at this new change in her life.
I totally remember the days of breaking down in tears in the grocery store (10 years ago – there were no actual gluten-free items in grocery stores besides fruit or vegetables) and most gluten-free products were pretty crappy tasting back then as well. I remember the first time I tried a piece of gluten-free bread. I did not know you had to toast it first – but it looked decent enough. I took one bite….and spit it out. I would tell people that it was a mix between sourdough and sawdust. Then, I tried multiple pasta options – all were disgusting. Granted – now we have many more thankfully tasty gluten-free options….but, until you find those tried and true staples that you enjoy – it’s an unknown world out there.
I will also never forget the first few times I would see a pizza or even a freakin’ Taco Bell commercial on TV….. and I would have to fight back the tears. The first several social engagements I went to (especially weddings or conferences for work) were awful…. I would end up feeling sad, hungry, and alone. That part doesn’t always change, I just went to a wedding last year where I couldn’t eat one single thing. That familiar feeling of being sad, hungry, and alone rushed back to me.
I have come a long way since those days. At one place I worked, I was even put in charge of ordering food for 20 people every day during the Christmas season – AND I had to go pick it up and set it up for them to come in and grab a quick bite to eat (and therefore, my car even smelled like this wonderful food I couldn’t eat). But, somehow I got through it. I had to endure the constant questions of why aren’t YOU eating this……….as they sat there scarfing it down (and leaving the mess for me to clean up!). It was a true test for me….but, I passed. You do learn to adapt – but those that are new to this process do need to see how we all understand the difficulties of adjusting to this new disease. I just want others out there to know that we “get it” and it’s ok to vent and be angry and cry…. and then decide to go drown your sorrows in some gluten-free pizza & beer!! π
Thank you Kristin! It is people like you who really help someone like me!
Kristin, I can’t agree with you more. There is a grieving process associated with adapting to having a chronic illness. That coupled with the drastic lifestyle changes make the celiac transition difficult. I think veterans want to help newbies save time and pain by giving good advice and pep talks, which is awesome and extremely helpful, but the grieving process can’t be ignored. Everyone needs to go through the five steps. We also can’t forget that there are sensitivity and severity continuums, as well. This means that we need to acknowledge that someone might be super-sensitive or gotten extremely sick and depleted before finally getting DX’d. This person’s lifestyle is going to be drastically different from another celiac who might have been lucky enough to get DX’d early before getting extremely sick and/or sensitive.
Remembering these differences in grieving stages and severity will help us support each other better!
You are so welcome, Amber – I remember being there newly diagnosed and not sure where to start……and I know how hard it was especially because I didn’t know anyone with Celiac and had no one to talk to. I don’t want anyone else to go through that experience alone!! We’re all here to help!! π
To the Venter:
I have my teary moments, too…mostly around pizza and that heavenly smell. The biggest favor you can do for yourself is to get creative and learn to cook. I guarantee that you are smart enough to follow a recipe. Get that under your belt and then learn to improvise.
Fresh food cooked at home can always be guaranteed to be GF. Believe me, I eat too well!
Kristen said:
“I think we need to be there for others going through that part of the process and not always have the 100% positive, cheery attitude to go along with it like this is the best thing that ever happened to us. I am currently coaching two newbies through this process β and they are both terrified. But, one told me she couldnβt keep looking online for information because most info she found acted like this was βno big dealβ and thatβs not how she currently feels”
No big deal? Oh, I think it’s a very big deal!! π
Of course newbies are terrified! I don’t blame them. I hug newbies all the time when I meet them. I talk to newbies on the phone and on skype
But, I have also shared a GF pizza with a newbie and watched her fill up with tears and say “OMG, this is GREAT”.
Look, the time comes when you have to accept the DX and figure out how to deal. Mourn, vent, throw shit–or as J says “throw boxes of GF food”–love this idea, BTW!!—and scream at the top of your lungs, cry, blow your nose, and then….move on.
Everyone goes through those stages.
I do not know who she is listening to–but if it’s someone like Elizabeth Hasselhoff ? well, that Susie Sunshine is NOT a typical celiac at all.
Do not get me started on her. π
I counsel hundreds of people a week and have met dozens of veteran celiacs and I have NEVER MET a single celiac who had a “100% positive, cheery attitude” or who think this is “the best thing that ever happened” to us. Not one. Especially if they have suffered for 20+ years without a DX and incurred major problems as I have. This is not a walk in the park.
We all think it blows. (can I say that? if not, sorry GD, edit me)
But we do not let it get in the way of living nor do we wish to “punch people in their faces ” just because they are not informed about celiac.
Did any of us know what the hell it was before DX?
NO!
so, why get pissed off at some poor waitress or butcher shop owner who has no clue what it involves??.
This is not how we educate others about Celiac!! It only makes us look like freaky bad-tempered grouchy pants.
I have to say it: I get frustrated with whiny Celiacs who seem to forget this part.
What the hell did any of us know about gluten or Celiac before all this shit happened to us? Nothing!!!.
So, how can you get mad at anyone else?
For the love of mike, it’s just ONE stupid food protein! The culinary world is full of exciting tastes and wheat is not really one of them anyway. Wheat is bland and useless. It can be replaced in every single recipe.
Here is the best advice you can tell a Newbie after you let them rant, vent, cry and mourn:
Get yourself a GF cookbook and start reclaiming your life. You cannot eat packaged crap for the rest of your life.
Celiac can beat you or you can adapt and control IT.
This is the hand you were dealt. Play it.
Irish…I don’t moderate much here. Actually, I don’t moderate at all.
(This is actually my only beef with celiac.com. I just think it’s over moderated.)
You can say “blows”, “celiac.com” and pretty much anything else you’d like.
BTW…I touched upon the mental state of a celiac diagnosis here:
http://glutendude.com/gluten/how-to-go-gluten-free-mental/
GDude!! π
As we have discussed via email, I am new to your blog and never wish to overstep. π
I appreciate that you allow me to help and share on here.
There is some incredibly good info on there for newly DXed people. I think I know why you are upset with the site–no links to blogs allowed. I understand, but I think it is a legal issue, but I cannot say for sure.
That said, I had not read your earlier blog entries. so I went back and read them and I am grateful you pointed me towards them.
All I can say is…looks like we “talk the same talk.”
& we are on the same page, kiddo.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again: you do good work!
Thanks Irish. And the celiac.com thing is a no-issue, believe me. It’s a big help to a lot of people who need it.
okay sweetie π
My biggest rants:
1) I’m very thin and petite. Too thin. Always have been. My wrist bones aren’t much bigger than my three-year-old grandchild. The picture in the medical books of the poor child with the caption “failure to thrive” is probably me. I get really PO’ed when at social gatherings people see me not eating because there is nothing there that is safe and say to one of my friends, “I knew she was anorexic.”
2) I’m tired of my new GP attributing every health issue like osteoorosis and inflamed joints to menopause. I had both of these in my late 30’s. well before my ovaries decided to go on vacation. Do they ever read your medical history from PAST doctors? Now when symptoms like extreme fatigue flare instead of testing for other autoimmune problems he tells me this is what happens when you get old. I just once want to say to my doctor “It is from decades of being GLUTENED, Dumbass! What part of this do you not get???”
Now I feel better..
You are not anorexic. (I was labelled this after being grossly overweight for 10 years and then plummeting 90 lbs.) I looked at the Gastro’s NP and said REALLY? are you effing kidding me?
Your symptoms are not from menopause!! (what bullshit)
especially if they started in your late 30’s.
I heard the same BS!
YOU need a BETTER doctor, DEE!.
My celiac-savvy GI never says this condescending shit to me.
(I heard all that for YEARS from useless docs)
You should always receive excellent follow -up care.
You deserve it.
Shame on you !!
Sorry, but I I am not the least bit ashamed of anything I say.
(even my 85 year old Mom will say effin when she’s mad)
Gluten Dude, I love that you are offering up this much-needed opportunity to vent. I can certainly relate to a few comments by others and have “been there” early in my Celiac diagnosis. Hang in there fellow Celiacs! It does get easier. Now, after 4 years of being strictly gluten-free, my friends, family and colleagues know I eat “weird” food and they know it’s generally yucky for the most part. I’m comfortable bringing my own food to work functions now although struggling with how to deal with the Christmas office party buffet was something I did vent about at the time. At my last get-together, I put together a cheese and GF platter and offering multiple kinds of GF crackers with only one kind of wheat cracker on its own plate with tiny bowls of dip to go with it to prevent cross-contamination of the main spread. That’s backwards from most mainstream social gatherings!
I hear you. I’ve been eating this way for at least 20 years. My MD at the time suggested I seek “professional” help. I see you reacted like I did. Put down the paperweightβ¦ he was just in the dark, but he also didn’t care enough to look into it at all. We parted ways shortly after that.
Yup-I don’t like Annies Mac & Cheese either-but some do! There are other brands-other sources of pasta from corn, to potato, corn/rice blend, to rice/ brown rice to quinoa (proun. keen-wah). Pastariso, Pastato, are my favourite.
Really-check out online ordering like Kinnikinnick Foods (best cupcakes and SOFT white & multigrain nutritious bread kinnikinnickfresh.com), Scott Adams-of Dilbert cartoon fame started celiac.com, glutenfree mall.com.
There are places to dine out, check Yelp & Urbanspoon for help here-its one if the best reasons to have a smartphone- and sometimes the chef can be pursuaded to use your ingredients- try to stay away from chains-except Red Robin-they have GF buns that aren’t bad at all. Call ahead and see if you can-and if you call the day before, sometimes the chef can make adjustments to menu items before they are made for “regular” clients. If they don’t have a chef I can talk to, I’m not keen on dining there. Even a salad can be a problem.
I always keep a food bar from Enjoy Life foods in my purse, carry some crackers, even my own condiments-there’s soy sauce left all over this continent by my forgetful self. Good thing I buy the affordable stuff.
Nope, it’s not right people exclude you or want to eat somewhere you can’t find safe food. If its a special occasion, I will sometimes eat beforehand-but not until I’ve asked if I can be accommodated.
Good luck-btw, those tears? I’m going with chemical issues-dietary imbalance. You aren’t broken. Not one bit.
I AM SO DONE hearing, ‘Why does it have to be all about you, whenever we go out to eat’ or ‘You can stay home cause you can’t eat there.’ Oh we went out to eat cause we knew you couldn’t eat the food. And the kick in the face is ‘You don’t need to eat, you are fat!’
Now today I was told in an email that they didn’t need me to volunteer by serving my GF foods at the fair, no one would want them. That’s fine I’ll use them for myself.
Wow, this is timely because I’ve just had one of those weeks. 99% of the time I have a positive attitude. Having Celiac, well, it sucks but it is what it is and I have to live my life as best I can . But every once and a while, this week being one of those times, I feel sorry for myself and I get angry. And then I get angry at myself for getting angry!. It started with an invitation to a friend’s BBQ that happens to be taking place on my birthday. I really wanted to go. But also wanted to be able to eat safe food on my birthday of all days and not have to bring my own food with. And then I got mad that I even had to think about this! And this was all combined with a wedding I have to go to where its still not clear whether there will be any food I can eat, and an upcoming vacation that I’m panicking about. And normally I can handle all of this and just deal with. No so this week.
Else: I’m so glad that you said it. I have to pretend not to be miserable about Celiac because otherwise, my family will give me The Look. The one that says, without words, that I’m not allowed to complain, even though a good fourth of the foods I used to eat are now off limits to me. They see nothing wrong with chowing down on bread and cake in front of me, but I’m supposed to be nice about it and not say a thing, lest I make THEM uncomfortable. I can relate about the wedding — my sister is getting married today. We’re heading off to get our hair done and then we’ll have very little time once we get back to the house. I won’t be able to eat at the reception because it’s a buffet. And let’s not even talk about the wedding cake. π
Hang in there and keep coming back here because this site is such a comfort!
Congrats on your sister Doro. I’m trying to stay impartial here, but couldn’t she have made sure you had something to eat at the wedding?
Dude: Maybe, but I never know how to ask. I thought…this is her day and I should just go with the flow and not be a pest. Of course, I ended up very, very hungry by the time we made it back to the house. And dammit, I wanted cake!!
Maybe you or a guest blogger could write a post about how to go about speaking to family members or close friends about having GF options during a big celebration?
Thanks for letting us all rant. And I’m with Irish Heart — sometimes the language needs to reflect our frustration!
I always put “Gluten free” meal when I am RSVPing to an event – even a wedding. Most caterers are willing to accommodate dietary restrictions. Really, if you had a peanut allergy, she’d be sure you’d be able to eat. For some reason, some people see Celiac disease as not as serious as those types of dietary needs. But, if either of my siblings was getting married, they’d be sure I had a meal I could eat. And, I would have no reservations about bringing it up to be sure. I know that if the situation were reversed, I would accommodate them.
It was so none of my business Doro and maybe I should have kept it inside. Sorry if I overstepped my boundaries. I’m just at a time in my life where I am losing faith in people and in everyone just thinking for themselves and I want to see good people like yourself rewarded. I know…I live in a fantasy world.
As far as the salty language, funny you should mention. See the comment below that came in today.
Dude, it WAS your business because I brought it up and asked. π
I’m not very assertive when it comes to my own needs and I must learn to change that. I’ve had a great time with my family, but the CD really gets in the way. I was only diagnosed 4 years ago and this is really the first big family event. Usually we’re at my mom’s and I just bring my own food. The grocery stores here in Texas have lots of GF selections (especially H.E.B), but the restaurants are still a little behind.
My sister discovered chocolate brownies made by French Bakery. Yum, yum, and yum. It’s time to remind everyone that I need to eat when we’re not at home as well!
It’s such a comfort to know that all of you are going through the same thing. I often feel so alone in this.
Just some comments for a few posts above. Travel foods – try snack bags of GF pretzels, carrots and celery. They do well in both cold and heat from being in the car and are quite filling. I use them all the time when I travel or do sales. I also carry a jar of peanut butter like it’s going out of style. Apples and bananas are also great and dried fruit. If you do your research you can find some great snacks. I made trail mix with raisins, almonds (another travel companion), pretzels, dried fruit and GF granola. I love all sorts of fruits and veggies so that is amazingly helpful for me.
I am lactose and gluten free. I must say, that’s hard sometimes. I can’t load up my GF pasta with cheese or pour it over some ground beef, but I find restaurants and meals constantly. I know I was blessed that I like a lot of healthy foods, but I’ve still had to adjust. I mean, do you know what it’s like to eat a baked potato as is and know you can’t put on cheese or chili or butter because I also can’t eat red meat.
I have bi-weekly lunch meetings with committees and I just bring my own food. I think part of our pain is our embarrassment. At first I wondered how I would deal with my eating carrots and PB at a meeting while everyone else has these sandwiches or salads with stuff I am not willing to trust, but I explained I had allergy issues and couldn’t share and now no one thinks anything of it. I think sometimes a big deal happens more with what we do than others. I’ve also been really lucky. I have a great support system. My family is super understanding and in fact take tons of precautions. We did a firepit and my dad specifically let me cook my hot dogs first and still made sure to clean the metal prongs with extreme care. My mother never uses milk or seasonings or anything that may have gluten that we are aware of if I am eating something with them and I have my own shelf of food in their freezer just for me.
My coworkers go the extra mile for things. They watch what they touch and even send me articles or recipes about new GF items and sometimes bring me in something GF to try so I can find something new (which brought me three new treats for my life already). I know I am blessed. I’ve constantly made the people around me a part of what is going on, learned to shed my shame over something I can’t control and educate others whenever possible. I simply tell people, gluten makes me sick, it’s not an allergy and I can’t allow it anywhere near my food or me. If I need to make it clear to a waiter I do by saying, I’ll know within minutes whether this has bread near it and I’ll get sick so please don’t think I’m just being picky, because I’m not. I’ll have to send it back if it’s not done the right way. π So far, so good… no problems!!
I am shocked!! Everyone is making good points and then someone has to throw curse words in there. And I DO object to ‘blows’. Be a lady, be a gentleman . . . don’t use foul language in public! I can’t see myself coming back here if comments have to be laced with b—- and more. How’s that for venting?
El…this blog is all about the emotional side of dealing with celiac disease. It’s not a “gluten free is great” blog. There are enough of those out there.
And with strong emotions comes the occasional salty language. And it’s very occasional.
I do not moderate this blog, except for spammy comments. And that’s the way it will always be.
With all due respect, if there is any, Irish Heart still should temper her language. She doesn’t speak that way at C.C. I don’t wish to see bitch, shit and effin on here or anywhere. Did you know she used those words? Go rent space at Speakers Corner, Hyde Park. What if a teen or clergy member were here. Is there nothing that reddens her face? Think about it.
You have a great concept here, but it DOES need monitoring.
Yes El, I realized it.
Do YOU realize how many people Irish Heart helps on this site?
Do you realize how many people she has reached out to directly to support them?
Do you realize that words are just words and teens and (heavens forbid) members of the clergy see a lot worse on the internet.
EL, I am not “On duty” here and I have no obligation to temper my language on a post entitled “emotional rant”.
The internet is an anonymous place and is full of language much worse than my use of the word ” bullshit”.
This is the dude’s site– if he wants to monitor the language, he will.
I liked you on C.com . . . I valued what you had to say . . . I respected you then. I go back and refer to suggestions you have given. Did not know that you left. I was able to read every word you said without cringing. It was not me. Why are you both so argumentative? Don’t you know how to palliate? Stop the bad language, that’s all I ask.
I agree to disagree. tata
Hon,
I worked very hard on that site.
You need not lose respect for me just because I let my hair down on here and say what I really feel.
Was my advice solid? then, it still is.:)
I was an English Professor–. I know all the big words, I just do not want to have to work so hard anymore. I want to say how frustrated I get too. I earned it.
Someone told them I am on G dude’s site and if it was not you, I apologize for suggesting it might be….. but it sure is funny that you show up TODAY and complain about ONLY MY use of a few swear words.
I just resigned as a Mod because I was tired of having to monitor my actions (I am very generous with my time and have a lot of friends on there) and I do not want to watch everyone else’s words. I do not like chastising people. I think people should have FUN!!!
Irish….why can’t you speak out on both sites? I don’t get it…It’s not like the Dude is competing for business. I don’t see that you were a bad moderator at all…..
They’re a tight little clique over at c dot com…I cried myself to sleep plenty of times because of them…They did me a favor when they kicked me out….I hope you can still enjoy your time there. Like all the forums, I don’t see as much activity there as I used to. Most of the rest of the celiac support forums seem to be just about forgotten. That’s too bad π They have a lot of good information…. IMO much more accurate than some of the newer sites…if you get what I mean.
By the way, your colorful language is fine with me! You can cuss or you can cry…whatever helps you or anyone else is fine with me!. I’ve done both. Anger isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes I think it’s worse to just quietly accept things……I’m guilty of that one lately…It’s rare for me to fuss about the diet….I’m thinking maybe that’s not good. I’ve been feeling kinda down lately….
Just so you know…I have no contact whatsoever with c dot com…I would never comlpain about you!
By the way Dude…Thanks for giving people a place to vent! It was very much needed!!!!
I appreciate what you have said, Galway, thanks.
I guess you left there before I was made a Mod, because I do not recall anyone being kicked out while I was Moderating.
I am sorry that happened to you. π
I am still reeling from what happened to me.
For the record, I was not asked to leave or thrown off the site. Nothing like that.
I just left to get away from the pettiness of a few people.
They were pretty rough on me. But I’m a big girl and I made a lot of good friends on there. The emails are already coming in–supportive and loving.
It’s a shame really. Now, I am told …some silly, petty types are voting all my posts down all over the Board (you know the little vote up and down buttons that give you “points” for a helpful comment?)
Nice, huh?
Pathetic Irish…simply pathetic.
Hmmmm, here’s a thought: If you don’t like what you’re reading, don’t read it! Nobody died and made you god that you can say what WE can read, thank you very much!
This is a wonderful place where we can let our hair down in understanding company. As grown-ups, we can’t handle an occasional b.s. or blows? We’re supposed to be writing as if for clergy or small children? Those are some awfully mild expletives to be getting upset about. This isn’t a religious site, but it is meant as a place for us to let off steam and be among others like ourselves. And I thank you for that, Gluten Dude.
Okay, how is this? You are all fucking jackasses. You fucking think your shit don’t smell. That’s bullshit. You want to fucking fight anyone about any fucking thing. Take a long fucking walk off a short fucking pier. All I fucking asked is that Irish Heart not use fucking profanity. I wanted to read what all had to say but she made it so fucking distasteful. I could go on with this fucking rant, but you’re not fucking worth it. Don’t bother to type a response, I won’t fucking be back. And now Irish are YOU happy ? How did you enjoy reading that?
Your missives sounded the same as this to me.
Goodbye
I won’t even moderate your comment El.
I want everyone to see what a closed-minded person looks like and you are a shining example.
You may want to visit my blog one last time on Monday. It will be dedicated to a special somebody.
Holy crap–what the hell was that?
and I just wrote that nice note to her… π
She lost it. She fucking lost it (couldn’t resist that one). π
LMAO!
I think it was a drive-by effing!
hahahahaha!
good one, Dee
I dunno, I feel a little “assaulted”.
I mean we did not curse AT anyone.
Irish, I reread my post three times trying to find out what I had said that I should be ashamed of and all I could come up with was PO’ed and dumbass.
Dee, you said nothing wrong, in my book!
As I said, if my own Mother does not think that “blows” or “effin” is shameful to say, especially when given permission to express anger about the thing that tried to kill me and made my life a living hell for years, well, then I feel no shame at all.
Dropping by to tell us to go F ourselves…is shameful.
Ah well, we should just blow this whole thing off……….
π
Wow, that was pathetic! It’s one thing to swear when venting about something, but quite another to swear AT someone. That person needs a huge lesson in being human!
You swear very uncreatively.
hmmm….I think someone got glutened. O.o
I honestly cannot believe that someone was actually offended by that. Perhaps he/she would not have chosen that word to use, but to actually be offended because someone else does…wow.
What I like the most about this post though is the part where you say, “Once youβre done venting, you need to move forward and put the negative vibes on the back burner. Positive energy brings positive results.” I think we all have those moments where we need to vent in a forum where others understand but I also think it helps to be reminded that there is also a glass half full aspect of it. I do have a disease that, although difficult, is manageable, and I feel lucky for that. Hearing my doc say that if I stay gf I will not die because of this disease is very positive considering all of the alternative diseases that I could have that may be much more difficult to control. That being said, have I cried in the middle of the grocery store, why yes I have. Does it help to hear that others have as well. Why yes it does.
Oh, and there are absolutely days when having Celiac does blow. Sorry, but let’s say it like it is.
Thanks, G dude, Kristin and Doro.
Sitting with my mom at McDonalds while she chastises me for not keeping my mouth shut about my GF frustration. There’s a guy sitting next to us talking her deaf dumb and blind and my mom hinted to me to keep talking so he would leave her alone. After she mocked me, I STFU. Now she has to listen to that guy go on about his farming troubles. Am I horrible?
OK, I’m coming late to the party (have been traveling…) but my mind just boggles. Gesh, if you don’t like a blog you stop reading it; you certainly do not try to censor what others say or how they say it. That would be the job of the blog ‘owner’ if he or she chooses to do so. I’ve got to say that personal attacks on blogs are wrong on so many levels…what is it about the anonimity of the ‘interwebs’ that make people act this way?
And most importantly, Irish Heart has kept me sane over the last year since my Celiac diagnosis. She has offered amazing amounts of useful and practical information, supported me when I was in some really bad places (physically and emotionally!) and celebrated my small health victories as they have occurred. If anyone in the Celiac community should NOT be attacked on any freaking level it is IH!
Babs! Honey, Is this you?
The same Babs who was in Poland?? THAT Babs??
π