No…a low libido is nothing to joke about but a little levity always helps in discussing a touchy subject. Plus I’m very immature and sex jokes make me giggle.
So…has celiac affected you at all…ummm…down there? Have you lost that lovin’ feeling? Is your libido in the tank?
Here’s an email from a fellow celiac who is a bit frustrated. Read on.
So, we talk about a lot of ways that being Celiac and gluten intolerant affect our lives but have we ever had the sex talk on the blog? Yeah, it’s very personal but it’s important and I’ve been debating about whether or not to bring it up but…
I can deal with not eating out, cooking my own food, and the irritated and skeptical looks from people. But what I absolutely hate and is the one thing that I wish I could change (if I had to choose one) is the loss of spontaneity and the effect that my body being so out of whack has had on my sex drive – meaning that for a long time, I had NONE.
I do find my spouse attractive and love him deeply, so it is extremely frustrating that this special part our our relationship has been impacted, and it makes me feel that I am not providing what he needs. He has never once complained about this but I know it frustrates him too. We will never get the years back while I was undiagnosed or on the mend and it just stinks!
I’m sure many others have gone through or are currently dealing with this. So, to anyone who has normally been a frisky person and is now having sex drive issues, ask for blood tests to check hormone levels as well as an adrenal stress test to see if any of those hormone levels are out of whack.
Thanks for listening!
Thanks for listening? Thank YOU for sharing.
Me personally? My sex drive could be better…I’ll admit. Not sure if it’s celiac-related, stress-related or the fact that I haven’t reached puberty just yet.
What about you folks? If your libido is low, I’d love to hear about it.
And if your libido is high, I’d love to hear even more about it 😉
I’m with ya girl. I rarely have a drive anymore… it’s like zero. I “take one for the team” at least once a month so the hubs doesn’t suffer (too much), but it’d be nice if I felt more into it. I think a large part of it is celiac, especially after being glutened…. I’m like PMS on steroids for a good couple weeks. Stress also negatively impacts anyone’s drive, but the combo of the two…. yikes. I haven’t had any blood tests done to check levels, but I’m guessing it has more to do with serotonin and dopamine levels. Maybe try going for a run or working out together, get the brain juices flowing and let the rest….follow.
Hmmm…awfully quiet on here so far. Too taboo perhaps?
It’s still early…. give it time 😉
Not taboo but another dimension to consider or explore and then to put into words….didn`t realize how much pain I was in till I started to heal, now sex might be a possibility depending on my energy level….and partner….sigh!
When I was 17 and started to go downhill the 2 main things I was suffering from was fatigue and loss of libido. I’m 36 now but you can imagine how scared it was to be a 17 year old guy and have your sex drive disappear overnight. I didn’t find out I had celiac until I was 30, and the libido never really came back. Ironically the only thing that has helped me with that is antidepressants, but they’ve all had too many side effects for me. Maybe I should try vitamin D? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
My wife calls me a perv, because I’ve not lost any drive. I can say that at 40, in that department, I’m like 20.
WOW! I thought I was the only one. IT took doctors 40 years to take my problems seriously. During that time, I lost all nervous system function in my legs, my liver and kidneys stopped working, and a myriad of other health issues came about. They gave me nothing but NSAID’s in ever increasing amount which destroyed my stomach lining. I still live in constant pain (but can’t even have an asprin anymore.)
Sex – I can do without it. Too much trouble. Who cares? Not really much bang for the effort.
Very personal. Just thought I was totally unique.
I guess I should say this – that much nerve and muscle damage does not heal “neatly”. Nerves regrow in all sorts of odd ways causing neuromas which are very painful.
Wow… I’m newly diagnosed and I’m learning every day what this disease has done to my body and my life. I had absolutely no idea that my lack of sex drive could be attributed to this. It’s a huge relief to know that as I continue to heal other parts of my life will improve too. Thank you for sharing! (My husband thanks you too. 😉 )
I must say – and I may be in the minority here, but – my libido is stronger then ever and has never suffered one iota due to Celiac. Perhaps it’s either the Vitamin D3 I’m taking or my super hot wife 🙂 – or a combination of both? LOL. My wife’s libido is pretty good, too, so that helps. All’s good. BTW – my Vitamin D was in the 20s and so (on my own) I started supplementing with 5,000 I.U. a day (although there are days when I miss). But, even before Vitamin D and Celiac, my libido was always good, So, yeah . . . can’t say Celiac has had any impact. If anything, it may have got stronger (and I’m turning the big 5-0 this year). As the song goes, “LOVE is like oxygen” . . . and I couldn’t imagine going without the horizontal bop
Interesting topic. I was diagnosed with Celiac in 1994 when I was 34 years old. My libido is low, has been for years. I never associated it with Celiac Disease…just early menopause…which hit me like a ton of bricks fourteen years ago when I was only 41 and my kids were just 5 and 3. I thought I was going crazy with mood swings, night sweats, hot flashes, etc. Intimacy with my husband has been minimal ever since. Now, when I think about it, I do think the early onset of menopause and the resulting physical changes can be attributed to my Celiac Disease. Then, there are the many nights (still, after 20 years being gluten-free) when I am bloated, gassy, and having abdominal pain, feeling anything but sexy…So, I guess the diminished libido is Celiac’s fault.
For me, the desire was always strong, but the fatigue would weigh me down. I wanted sex, but was sometimes just too exhausted to bother. The other issue I had was that, because my magnesium was so low, I was having terrible muscle spasms, including my PC muscle and uterus. Since both contract during orgasm, sex was, all too often, painful.
I didn’t know until I felt better how high my sex drive was naturally. I can do 1-2 times daily now, rather than 3-4 times a week. More importantly, I feel sexier, more desirable, and I wouldn’t give that up for the world.
Yeah, the pain thing… not fun. Comes back with accidental gluten exposure until the inflammation subsides.
Isn’t it nice to FEEL sexy again?! 🙂
It really is wonderful. Feeling great about myself is almost as wonderful as feeling great physically. I miss it right now because of this stupid stomach virus.
I ditto the low libido. Before I got sick I was sex fiend. Between celiac and having a toddler. … it’s slipped away. It doesn’t help that I’m vitamin deficient so I’m so freaking tired. I’m excited about that new girl “viagra” in the works. I’ll be first in line at my Dr for some sexy drugs. Poor husband. Thank god he still loves me.
We discovered recently through blood and saliva tests that my cortisol levels were all out of whack and my D3 was low. This was messing with my energy levels and making it very hard to wake up in the mornings – like trying to swim through molasses toward the surface while having a brick tied to your foot. After a few days on the D3 supplements I noticed a big difference in my energy, and the adrenal supplements have normalized my circadian rhythm again. Oh, yeah… I’m getting those stirrings again!
D3 is important in the whole process of testosterone production, etc., which women produce too. Don’t just start taking D3 though if you are concerned about it. It can be very dangerous to OD on Vit D. Have your blood tested first and consult your doc about dosage.
I kinda envy the people that just had to go on a gluten free diet and that was the end of it. However, it is just an adjustment of vitamins and other “simple” fixes that I have to do occasionally, I’ll take it. I know others are suffering much greater effects.
CR – what D3 supplement do you take? I know my levels are super low, but have had so many bad cross contamination issues over time with supplements, that I’ve just stopped taking them. I have the D3 in liquid, but forget to take it about 50% of the time. Thanks!
Garden of Life – My Kind Organics D-3 spray. It is certified gluten-free and vegan. All plant based. No weird chemicals.
I’ve never thought about it, so I guess it’s never been a problem. The biggest problem is finding someone who can put with me beyond the sex.
fatique was the only issue that affected my desire to have sex. However, I delt with other issues that seemed worse because I wanted to have sex! I rarely climaxed regardless of how good it was, the position, length of time, etc. I also struggled with odorless discharge. This was really hard to get under control & very embarrassing! Since being gluten free, I’ve had the best sex of my life!
Ive been diagnosed for over two years and always got annoyed when my doctors asked how my libido was. I’m 22, (at the time) how do you think it is?!?
However, these last 6 months have been another story. I feel so guilty because I know it is affecting my relationship… much like the woman who originally wrote in. I am drained lately in almost every way. I feel so stressed, emotional, and physically feel horrible it’s hard to give much when I’ve hardly got anything!
When we got married 13 years ago, my libido was low, but it was there.. as time went on, I was diagnosed with PCOS and put on a bunch of meds.. and my health started doing some roller coasting and what little I had pretty much died out.. we’d still do things, but I was happy that hubby’s job took him away from home for weeks at a time and would try to hurry things along.. and when he deployed for a year, well, I had no problem with having that aspect going away for most of a year.. and my health continued to decline.. anemia, heart and blood pressure issues.. about 4 years ago we figured out that gluten was a BIG problem for me, though we still aren’t 100% certain if it is celiac or not, but it is very obvious that it needs to be gone forever for me.. my health is finally starting to improve. The anemia went away 2 years ago and there have been lots of other improvements… and then, very suddenly and unexpectedly, 2 weeks ago my libido decided to show back up and has been turned WAY up from where it use to be.. seriously.. it’s been rather crazy around here and you’d think we were teenagers… instead of 40 somethings… i still have health issues, and it’s a bit too late for my fertility at all.. but it’s been… different.. and the only thing we can think to explain it that i’ve finally gotten enough of the gluten damage that i’ve had my whole life cleared up to let some of the hormones show up and do their jobs.. of course, we’re also in a wait and see mode to see if this new found energy is going to stick around..
Reading this gave me goosebumps, good for you and I really hope it sticks around 🙂
I was diagnosed back in September 2013 and immediately went gluten free. I had certainly noticed a decline in capability, but since I’m in my 70s, I had attributed it to age. Viagra helped. My interest in sex never disappeared, though. I was pleasantly surprised about six months ago when I noticed I seemed to be getting better, and there’s been very slow improvement since. Still not able to skip the Viagra, but definitely better. Celiac related? Who knows? But I suspect that at least part of the decline was due to the malnutrition that came with celiac. I’ve certainly noticed some other improvements (leg cramps at night almost gone, acid stomach a rarity instead of routine, a chronic cough that has pretty much disappeared, stronger nails, etc.). So improved sexual function? Why not?
The discussion above about D3 is interesting. I’m going to talk to my doctor next time I’m in for a follow-up.
I am not quite sure how to answer this. With 8 kids people have joked that me and my hub must go at it like bunnies. My response has always been.. All that proves is I had relations exactly 7 times( 8 kids with a set of twins) in 16 years and got pregnant every time. snark. Ok My hub and I do have sex more than once every other year lol.. just in case you were wondering.
In every marriage there is usually one partner that has a higher drive than the other.. In most cases the man has the higher drive and the woman is one with the lower. So a woman having a lower drive than her husband may not have anything to do with CD.That is not the case with me and my husband . I am the one with the higher drive and it’s gotten higher as I have reached my 40’s. My husband has a lower drive than me…It’s been that way since the day we got married. I am the one with celiac disease but I don’t think it has affected me in that way. Now I will say of course it is not so easy to feel like making whoopie when your sick from being glutened. Pretty darn impossible if you are expelling your insides. However ,if I waited until I always felt great to be intimate with my spouse we would never have sex. Sometimes you just have to push past the not feeling good, focus on the fun of sex and being with your spouse and be willing to let yourself ‘get in the mood’. I think it is more a mental block than a physical one. if you allow yourself to go there mentally first .. the rest will take care of itself. It can actually be a nice distraction when you are under the weather ;).
I have found that pushing past that mental block of “Oh my stomach hurts” when the symptoms are at about 50% in the nothing to bad scale, and actually engaging in sex make me feel much much better.
So sometimes its worth just getting over it and getting on with it 😉
My drive became better after a diet change as did my response. Might be worth checking into zinc deficiency and libido. It is a common nutritional deficiency in celiac disease.
I’m gonna dive right into the ball park. I miss my ability to climax. When I was 17 it was like the greatest feeling and now I have sex quite often but I hit this wall. My partner wants me to orgasm, he wants to know I’m happy but I’ll hit that ‘point’ and the lights turn back on and the sex feeling has immediately passed. This never used to happen. I used to be able to run straight off the cliff and now my libido gained common sense and stops at the edge and says “Nahhhh, I don’t feel like cliff diving today” It’s really frustrating and my doctors don’t take me seriously either.
That happens to me too! Sometimes I think it’s all in my head (like I’m not focusing on what’s happening enough) but other times I’m so mad at my body for not letting me! It’s frustrating for both me and my boyfriend. Like anything else that goes wrong with my body-I’ll blame this one on Celiac too I guess.
This happens to me as well! I am 26, and have never ‘climaxed’ (what is this mythical creature).
I am never taken seriously by anyone, doctors, therapists, friends… its very sad and I feel my partner retracting sometimes because its like a one man show and he feels he isn’t doing me any justice (it still feels ‘nice’).
I don’t really know what else I can do..
I have noticed a decline in sex drive along with an increase in depression symptoms, fatigue, moodiness, and short temper. I have been gluten free since diagnosis almost 2 yrs ago. I have had everything tested…thyroid and vit amin levels are all normal. I think a big part of the issue is stress, lack of sleep, and not being active. I notice that things are better when I am consistently exercising, taking my vitamins, and taking some me time. The problem is it seems like this comes and go’s like a roller coaster month in and month out. I tell my husband when I first notice the mood changes (which I am sure he notices first) that here goes the rollercoaster. He luckily is very laid back and can handle it. The problem is that he doesn’t do a lot to help support me or make me feel sexy when I am down in the dumps because he just sits back and waits for the upswing. Need to really figure out how to even out the ride….I hate rollercoasters. I want to be able to have consistency in my life. I think part of it is attributed to the Celiac but I think it is more hormone related because of the ups and downs. Just hard to get a medical doctor to test to the extent needed, hard to afford the tests, and kids definitely do not help lowering the stress levels!
How’s my sex drive….
well I’m not getting any, so I can’t even tell you. Probably pretty bad though.
Apparently women want someone who will take care of them, and love them, physically and emotionally. I get that. Men want that too.
but….
I have so many health conditions (diagnosed @ 21 I’m and I’m 23 now) PLUS! I didn’t know for my whole life and have always had uncontrollable bowel movements and CONSTANT stomach aches and car sick feeling, but I feel like I’ll never be in a happy fulfilling relationship, and sex is a big part of that.
I feel like if I eat anything too close to when my boyfriend and I want to have sex, I’m too paranoid whole time that something unpleasant is going to happen… We’ve been together for two years, but I’m still petrified to fart in front of him (even though he does it constantly 😛 ) and I’m scared of it happening during sex if my stomach’s not feeling great! Plus, with my aching joints – sometimes sex just isn’t as fun as it used to be and it ruins it for me. We started dating very shortly after I was diagnosed, and I never seemed to have a problem back then… But there are so many times that I want it, but I feel like it would make everyone’s lives easier to just roll over and go to sleep instead. He’s gorgeous and good at what he does 😉 so it’s so hard to explain – to both him and MYSELF- why I’m just not into it sometimes. Also, I thought 24 year olds weren’t supposed to have these problems? Celiac really makes me feel like an old woman sometimes.
And to be honest, my sex life was non exsistant until I started dating my guy, so who knows? I don’t have much to compare to…
Celiac did affect my sex life in a few ways. The first was the chonic constipation. When I got blocked up and nothing was moving for few days, I really did not enjoy adding “something” else into the general area. The migraines also made sex completely undesirable. The fatigue was what affected most days, it was on those days that I would often go along when not in the mood. About half of the time I was glad I did go along and the other half of the time… at least my husband was happy. LOL
Wow. Many thanks for the raw honestly folks. Very cool.
Off for a smoke and a cold shower.
Both my hubby and I have Celiac. His sex drive is significantly lower than mine. But mine is literally off the charts. But I have PCOS in addition to Celiac, and my testosterone levels are higher than the average woman, causing a much higher than normal sex drive. However, my husband’s is lower than the average male, causing a very severe libido mismatch, but we have a very solid relationship and have found ways to get around the mismatch.
A celiac women with a higher than normal sex drive…..you just gave a recently diagnosed single guy a glimmer of hope….lol. All respect to you and your hubby of course. I was an optimistic, care free bachelor 3 months ago in between relationships and now I’m trying to imagine how to put this all back together. I’m curious did you meet your husband post diagnosis?…I would think that having the support of someone who is dealing with our unique challenges would be very comforting.
Matt,
No, we met prior to diagnosis, by several years actually. He was diagnosed 6 years ago, and I and our son was diagnosed the following year. We celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. But my sex drive has always been much higher than his, and while his seems to be declining as we age, mine is increasing. But, prior to meeting my husband,…. well, let’s just say, guys were very happy to be with me.
But as far as eating as a Celiac goes, my hubby, son and I are traveling this road together, which makes it so much easier as far as food planning goes.
That has to be pretty rare where both partners are diagnosed after meeting. That had to be a difficult time with everyone falling ill or facing this diagnosis in the span of two years. What a comfort though to all be there together dealing with it as a family. Trying to translate the issues and restrictions of this disease to the outside world seems impossibly hard sometimes……my “drive” is intact, but I don’t see it leaving the garage for awhile…lol.
Oops, that should say “were” diagnosed.
I think it’s really worth checking out Emily Nagoski’s discussions of this. All sorts of health issues affect interest in sex, but her argument that there is no such thing as a sex “drive” are pretty useful. She just released a book, but there were plenty of editorials right after it came out — just google her name and “sex drive.”
I have leaned a lot from her approach that changed how I approach sex and health. (And nope, not a paid shill, just a fan).
It’s tough to really get a good grasp of an answer for me, mostly because its a solid… 50/50. (Yeah, I know. Real helpful.) Since my diagnosis, at about the 4 month totally GF and finally KNOWING I had celiac (suddenly getting acknowledgement that you aren’t nuts/lazy/dying makes you feel pretty spiffy in all departments) I had about 6 months of making up for massive amounts of lost time. I mean, for god’s sake, I was sick on my wedding night (can’t blame that on celiac though – was curse. No. Really. Night before the wedding as the rehearsal wound down, my loving soon to be hubby told me to stop stressing because “Babe, hon… we’re golden. We get married tomorrow, nothing is or can go wrong.” Cue ominous music and the sound of a million people smacking their loved ones upside the backs of their head to prevent similar utterances being made and by midnight my mild cold was double walking pneumonia and a fever of 103.2 coupled with my being dragged into the er. I’m told it was a lovely wedding, wish I could remember more of it but they stuffed me full of so many drugs I was essentially Jenna the Walking Bride Puppet for my loving bridesmaids to run!) so there was some definite urge to catch up on things. Then I got hit by first brown recluse spiders, septicemia from said, which then seemed to kick off a lovely 2 year fight with shingles so… for a good chunk of my late 20’s & now into my 30’s there has been some massive waxing and waning.
Now that I’m getting better from the last round of “Jenna can’t leave the bed except to pee” things are picking up. But even a tiny bit of gluten knocks the game back to zero for almost a month. Partially just feeling too much like hammered hell, partially out of a terror filled mental horror of “Oh GOD. What if my stomach goes totally sideways DURING?” – the first 2 weeks after a gluten hit I can go from “hey, feeling almost human here” to turning into the Human Blur as I desperately streak for the closest bathroom. And you know nothing makes a woman feel sexier then the fear of impending ‘stomach distress’. Then it’s just 2 weeks of total malaise and brain fog, also not really sexy making.
Thankfully as I’ve gotten better about watching out for hidden gluten monsters in the cooking closet, things are improving… but it still tends towards feast or famine around here. Thankfully I have an awesome husband who doesn’t just ‘understand’ about how things work, he seems really cool with it. I married a very cuddly guy and I also… well. At the risk of TMI, I learned that it is totally possible to have a LOT of fun with someone while you personally keep all your knickers and kit on. Sometimes it’s almost as good just to run the carnival ride and listen to the fun sounds of the rider. So it’s not like he’s suffering from lack of attention when I’m not able or wanting to get anyone up close and personal with my own bits. That said, the fact the tide can shift to COMPLETELY the other direction. I’m apparently somewhat famous among his friends for, after feeling like I had been sitting around in the pub listening to them all natter for quite long enough, thank you, and having totally failed to subtly get his attention and understanding as to what I wanted… finally just knocked back the one drink – so I wasn’t drunk – I’d been nursing for far too long, marched up to the table as a whole an announced he was going to come home, right now, I was horny and damn it he could watch the game with the guys later. Or if he REALLY couldn’t leave, then our friend had better clear out the kitchen for 10 minutes, because I was going to be having sex here, there or at least SOMEWHERE in the next 20 minutes. (Said friend ~owns~ the pub in question, and it’s a 20 year friendship between the guys. I wasn’t doing this in front of strangers at least. lol) You have never seen a man my husband’s size get thrown out of a bar as fast before. They darn near levitated him to the Jeep.
Famines are no fun…. but the thought of the Feasts are more then enough to keep a spring in his step, at least according to him.
TMI?
It sometimes sucks. There is guilt too with that about the lean times, and it feels like it’s taking freaking forever, but as I heal things pick slowly back up. I have to remember that guilt too will put a serious cramp in sexytime wanting, so trying to let that go. Currently in a bit of a slump again – but that’s not celiac. That’s a double ear infection that has been going on since November and it’s taken this long for my doc to finally schedule me for ear tubes. A 6+ month long fever and headaches does NOT a sexy Jenna make.
I have to be embarrassingly honest… I have a rather high one that my partner struggles to fulfill. But I am in my early 20s so could just be young libido. Of all my struggles I’m surprised to say that was never one of them.
Historically is my sex drive low? Hell yes- my libido is way low and I blame being celiac.
I lost my virginity in my 30s. I just didn’t have the urge to go after anyone i was interested in. I had crushes, sure- i just never even attempted to really date much.
I was diagnosed in my 40s and literally the only times my life that my sex drive was high was when I was working out 7-10 times a week. Seriously. I had no clue what was wrong, but I just accepted going months or years without having sex.
A new endocrinologist (I’ve had a few recently) told me that celiac disease can cut down on your testosterone production. He was about to prescribe supplementation for me but wanted other levels at normal (like vitamin D) before adjusting anything else.
I’m only a few years into my diagnosis and I still have a criminally low drive. However, I was at a seemingly complete thyroid shutdown and had a host of other issues that hit me like a train wreak before we pinned it on the demon gluten.
I really wish that I’d known early in life.
I’ll try to keep this brief and vague out of respect to my wife, I don’t mean for this to be a complaint, I want to be sensitive and understanding (not aim blame and demanding…), I’m just looking for hope I guess.
She was diagnosed with celiac this past year and we’ve made the whole house GF with very little exceptions for our kids (some of them have issues with it too, we’ve found), but the past few years there has been nothing in the sex department, and years prior it has diminished, and really has never been very frequent (every few weeks at best, mostly every few months except for these last several years). It hasn’t been a lack of interest on my part, I’ve always been very attracted to her and can’t hardly touch her without “feeling” that attraction. I don’t complain, I know she’s going through some health issues that need to be resolved, and I can’t find it within me to add the stress of sex complaints to that basket, it would not be helpful. We talked about it once a few months ago, I only asked how she felt about it, and the response was “not even on my radar”.
We’ve had our marital issues, so I’ve always attributed the lack of interest in sex to that (though I wonder now if that was partially her assumption as well, maybe only to explain her disinterest in sex?). I don’t want to get into a counseling session, my only intent is to ask:
Does it get better? Does controlling diet and keeping it under control over the years make it better, and bring back an interest in sex? Or do I just need to suck it up and find a way to diminish my own sex drive (ok, maybe that’s being dramatic…) so I don’t feel crazy and selfish all the time for wanting her, when I know she feels nothing and is just a victim of a disease that she didn’t ask for and hates the way it is? I have no intention of letting this kill our marriage, or treating her poorly because she can’t “meet my needs” (it feels selfish even writing it that way…). We’ve talked about maybe having another child down the road, so I know there’s at least some thought, even if it’s just the thought of procreation (the though that my only chance is a year or two away is depressing), but am I just being a jerk for thinking this way? Am I just an ignorant husband that hasn’t learned that I just need to forget about it and deal with it? Is a reprimand in order because I just don’t get it?
I’m not looking for a “yes, you’re wife needs to suck it up and provide every now and then”… so if that’s you’re response, please spare me of your thoughts… (not only would that be disrespectful to my wife, that would also just make things harder for me to deal with, and would be less helpful than not getting a single response to this post), but please, if things do or do not get better, I’d like to know, if nothing else so I can prepare somehow to deal with it and not be left wondering. Also, if a reprimand IS in order, please set me straight; my goal is to make myself a better husband, so telling me I’m a selfish chauvnistic pig would also be helpful.
Hey Ron,
Im 24 and recently married. Ive had Celiac Disease for almost 2 years now. My wife and I got married only a few months after my diagnosis and our honeymoon was difficult to say the least. Honestly, there have been months where I would try to avoid sex or even the talk of it with my wife at all costs. My wife is gorgeous and I love her dearly but I literally had ZERO interest in intimacy. I would make up all kinds of excuses because I really was not at all interested. She really has been understanding of it all which is a huge help. In the last few months Ive finally started feeling better and my “drive” is back stronger than ever it seems.
Have hope! Im sure things will improve in that department as your wife starts feeling better. Keep doing what you’re doing and think positive!
Dear Ron,
As someone who has gone through (and still does) what your wife is going through, I have to tell you that it is wonderful that you are supportive and understanding. Even if it is not even on her radar physically, I’m sure she misses that part of your relationship too and probably feels that she is not providing you with what you need and misses the intimacy. It is good to talk about it without pressure and focus on other aspects of your marriage that you both enjoy while always remaining hopeful and taking advantage of the “window” when it is open. That said, sometimes the urge is there for those of us suffering but it is too painful to actually indulge, so remember that your wife is likely just as frustrated as you are – her needs aren’t being met either and it’s neither of your faults. If you are in pain all the time or know that intimacy will be uncomfortable, you start kinda suppressing the feelings when they arise.
It is hard to say whether or not the urge will come back. That all depends on her healing, staying healthy, and how much damage was done before she was diagnosed. In my own experience, it comes and goes depending on my overall health. I do miss that type of intimacy when it has been a long time and it does make me feel like an inferior wife sometimes. It hurts to know that I am not sharing that enough with the man that I have loved for almost 15 years. But in ways it has made me love him even more because there are so many things to appreciate in our relationship. He is my best friend and true partner in life. We have each other’s backs and we really meant it when we said in sickness and in health. Sex or no sex, I cannot imagine life without his friendship. And never underestimate hugs, kisses, and cuddles. They may not satisfy that particular urge but they penetrate your heart. Good luck! Now, go hug your wife! 🙂
Thank you, CR, I appreciate your response!
Your welcome. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel so great I want to shout it from the rooftops!!
Three weeks ago I started a gluten free diet after realising my 15 month old toddler was very sensitive to both lactose and gluten. We had had months of screaming tummy ache, day and night, and a careful analysis of his diet and reactions revealed the cause. The other thing I realised was that when I ate wheat and breastfed him he would get the same reaction (bloating, trapped wind, painful tummy ache, irritability) so I gave up too. Some hideous withdrawal symptoms and long conversations to explain my situation to friends and family followed (was I imagining the eye rolling??)
Three weeks later and I feel amazing (I’m also 25 weeks pregnant btw). I no longer have the energy levels of a 70 year old (I’ve been battling with CFS/adrenal fatigue/sugar sensitivity – basically a cycle of nervous breakdowns of varying size and impact for years), I go to bed at midnight rather than 7pm, I feel lighter physically (less sludgy), I feel infinitely happier and more positive, but best of all… I’ve regained my previous appetite and very high level of enjoyment for sex!!!!
I’m so utterly thrilled (lol!) and I feel like I’m about to relive my mispent youth 😉 (I’m 36 now). It makes the thought of living without hot buttered toast and crumpets, Yorkshire pudding and birthday cake all worthwhile. Happy gluten free sex everyone!!
Well, I can say my libido has grown exponentially since going gluten-free. When my mom was stressing over having the “talk” with me I was so indifferent. I was 15 and still thought I was asexual because I just didn’t feel an attraction toward anyone… like at all. Then bam I’m 16 in the ER getting told to avoid gluten. Slowly I got better at avoiding it till I realized there really is no in-between when you are a Celiac so I had to resign myself to never going out to eat (I’m way to sensitive) and packing lunch EVERYWHERE. Around 17 I discovered I definitely liked guys, for sure, and that kissing might be a thing I wanted to do. Yadda yadda I’m getting better and better, the anemia is gone, the numbness, the stomach and abdominal pain, and the myriad of other symptoms are gone. I feel like I can work out without having a panic attack from the heart palpitations. I’m doing great. Yet it took about a solid 3 years of avoiding gluten like the plague for the extra “perks” to come in. That’s when I finally understood why my mom was so confused that I wasn’t a typical “hormonal teenager.” Talk about a late bloomer. Now I’m a full blown adult and drinking gallons of milk and eating like a cow a week (give or take lol) and fawning over boy bands like a hormonal teenager in their growing stage. Nevermind the libido- I really have no clue what to do sometimes not because I’m special or anything but I mean I used to think I was asexual that’s how little libido I had. It’s like I had skipped over puberty till I went gluten-free. I gotta say its weird but I’m glad, even if late, to be getting my life back.
I am in the exact same boat. Did you ever level out?
Any recommended daily suppliments for men trying to get their spouse pregnant for the second time to increase the drive and triger