Usually, simple questions result in simple answers. The answer is either yes or no. That’s really the beauty of yes/no questions. There are only two possible answers.
Here…let me give you some examples.
Did I sleep well last night? No.
Is iOS 8 taking more than 16 hours to download on my phone? Yes.
Do I like having celiac disease? No.
Was Seinfeld funnier than Friends? Yes.
Will I ever be a professional musician? No.
Is my hairline beginning to seriously recede? Yes.
Is Congress doing a good job? No.
Is Mrs. Dude the best ever? Yes.
Now here’s one more: Is Heinken gluten-free?
Now you and I both know it’s an easy answer, but let’s go directly to the source and see what they have to say.
First question for you Mr. Heineken…what are your ingredients?
Great…thanks. So then does Heineken contain gluten?
Brewing beer with barley leaves only traces of gluten in the beer, while wheat contributes considerably more. The brewing process can also affect gluten content. Generally speaking, the clearer and blonder the beer is, the less gluten it contains.
Some people are allergic to gluten and have to follow a diet that minimises or excludes their gluten intake.
Whether beer can be part of such a diet or not depends on the extent of the allergy and the type of beer consumed. In many cases, lager beers pose no problem for people who have a gluten allergy. However, it is up to individuals to assess their own sensitivity.”
What the ever-living hell was that???
By the way, that was taken directly from their website.
Ok…now I’ll pretend I’m Mister Heineken and you ask me the same question.
Hi Mister Heineken…does your beer contain gluten? YES!
So then is your beer gluten free? GOD NO!!!!!
So here’s the deal. If they just flat out said “no it’s not gluten free”, they’d lose at least 1% of their potential customers. So they answer in complete gobblygook instead.
And you know what? It works.
From the reading I’ve done this morning, there are plenty of celiacs who will drink what they are stupidly calling “low gluten beer”. That’s right…many of your fellow celiacs are drinking Bud, Bud Light, Coors Light, Corona and of course Heineken.
Why? Who knows. Convenience, lack of discipline, wanting to feel “normal”.
Want to feel “normal”? Stop eating gluten!
So to recap: Heineken contains barley. Barley contains gluten.
So does Heineken contain gluten? The answer is obvious to everyone…except Heineken.
Like Claire in The Breakfast Club, just answer the question.