Gluten Dude

Yes…I just went there.

No…I am not curious for my own behalf (not that there’s anything wrong with it).

The request came from somebody on my Facebook page. Her name is…oh wait…I probably shouldn’t share her name. ;)

Anyway, here is how the conversation went:

Her: I thought you’d be the best person to ask this “seriously want to keep anonymous” question…no offense. Gross but a concern for us Celiac gals…has anyone ever tested sperm for gluten? For once, Google can’t seem to help me! Thanks, I have always wanted to know and who in the world could I ask but you.

Me: I’ll take that as a backhanded compliment (lol).

Her: No offense meant; just don’t know of anyone with Celiac that tells it like you do and would even answer the request without thinking I’m a perv…it was a total compliment! Believe me, I brought it up once online with a Celiac friend and I thought she was going to choke on her tongue due to the stuttering!

I told her it was a tough JOB but I was totally UP for the challenge.

After spending some time online, I couldn’t find a definitive answer. And I thought…this really BLOWS.

So I looked some more (and came across some disturbing websites along the way…which I’ve bookmarked) and still nothing. This totally SUCKS.

So I decided to SWALLOW my pride and ask around a bit.

Ok…I’ll stop with the innuendos now.

Here are the ingredients of a typical batch: fructose sugar, water, ascorbic acid, citric acid, enzymes, protein, phosphate and bicarbonate buffers and zinc.

Mmmm…mmmm…good.

But is it safe?

semen gluten freeSure looks gluten-free to me but I still could not find anyone to confirm my belief. And nobody volunteered to do a taste test.

But then I finally found what I was looking for. The Celiac Disease Center in Chicago confirmed that we can all rest easy.

No…there is no gluten in semen.

Bottoms up!

(Dude note: No offense intended. A little levity is a good thing when it comes to our disease.)

60 thoughts on “Is Semen Gluten Free?

  1. Posts like this one are why you are one of my favorite bloggers. You tackled this subject with humor and tact. I love that you actually found an ingredients list. That leaves me wondering about fat, calories, and grams of protein. LOL

  2. Hmmm, sounds like there are some good nutrients in there…thinking maybe I should add some to my smoothie. I couldn’t bring myself to swallow it any other way! Great post GD!

  3. Oddly enough, I asked the dietician they sent me to because she was a joke and a prude so I thought it would be funny. She nearly threw up when I asked. She seriously had a toy plate with play food, she put a pile of fake press on the plate, a fake chicken breast and a fake pile of mashed potatoes on a plate and said, ” you can eat this” then she put a fake piece of pizza on a plate and said, “you can’t eat this”…. so I was irritated at the sheer lack of professional support so when she asked if I had any questions I asked her!

  4. Actually, as soon as I saw the title link on your facebook page I knew the answer and where to find it. I know other women who know this too. I can’t really think of any other questions you’ll get asked that a woman would know the answer too that you wouldn’t, but don’t be afraid to ask us if it is the sort of thing we might know the answer to because it may be faster. It actually took me about all of 10 seconds to have the University of Chicago page up in case you hadn’t found it to have the link.

  5. Ahh, yes, the topic of many coffee klatsches on my street has finally received some serious attention.

    Backed by in depth research and explosive discussions, this blog post is sure to go down in the annals of history as a pivotal moment in gluten free/celiac awareness.

    With all the varied opinions and studies, some may not be swallow this bit of information at first. But once we allow it to soak into our collective conscious I’m sure most will accept it as a universal truth…

    …and it’ll probably improve our complexion in the process.

  6. Lillian: You remember my cousin, Rita.
    Annie: Rita!
    Rita: [hugs Annie] Annie, I haven’t seen you since you graduated high school.
    Lillian: She has three kids now.
    Rita: Three boys.
    Lillian: They’re so cute.
    Rita: They are cute, but when they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. They smell, they’re sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a BLANKET in half. Do you get where I’m going with this?Annie: I do, yeah.
    Rita: [gesturing] I cracked it in HALF.
    ____________________________________________
    Bridesmaids~2011

    That movie is so freaking funny.
    xxx-
    Jersey Girl

  7. Thanks! That was actually one of the first questions I had after finding out I was totally gluten intolerant (auto-immune thyroid disease), especially after my husband ate a slice of pizza and a beer without telling me and without brushing his teeth and then kissed me…I was so sick! So I got to thinking, can I get second-hand gluten from him in other ways, too?? Most of what I read online seemed to suggest it was safe, but thanks for the concrete confirmation that we’re all clear for one of our favorite activities for fun & frolic! :)

  8. I have been using Sliquid because it looks GF. Getting lube-glutened is really no fun at all! Plus, I get frequent infections if I’ve been glutened at all. In one of these instances of doom, I developed a latex sensitivity as well.

    My guy uses Tom’s of Maine toothpaste for me, and we use GF body wash.

    If your guy/girl thinks this is stupid, dump them immediately. I’m so lucky!

    • I don’t worry about what is in things unless they have the potential to end up in my mouth. I use Earthpaste toothpaste, I love the flavor (there are 4 I think) and it is SLS free.

        • My hair is falling out and I’ve been wondering if its my Aveda shampoo (even though its supposedly GF). What kind do you use now?

          • Depends on your hair texture, etc. I tried a ton of stuff. After 5 years, Everyday Shea (not Vanilla Mint scent) and Everyday Coconut with a drop or two of Aura Cacia Argan Oil while my hair is wet works really well.

  9. I’m assuming that the “packaging” for this product will be labeled correctly come August of 2014 according to new FDA laws?

  10. very funny GD, thanks for starting my day with a laugh! So… the bicarbonate is where the salty taste cums from. I wonder if those ingredients are listed in order of the contents of the “package?”

    • Lots of things make lots of people sick for reasons completely unrelated to gluten. Just because someone gets sick or has a reaction to something, even when they have celiac and have a “gluten like reaction” does not mean that the reaction is actually to gluten.

      In addition to a lot of the things suggested on that thread (and I didn’t read all the way through) I would point out that a fair number of men go around randomly touching their junk. And even if they don’t, we all wash our hands AFTER using the restroom, not before. So if he just ate a sandwich and is now going to the bathroom guess what he is getting all over himself? If they aren’t gluten free, their junk isn’t gluten free either. Make sure your men are showering before fun time, its just common sense.

      • Wait wait wait, now I see Ms. Adalaide, How can life go on. I never thought of my husband touching his junk, after eating a pizza. and me, well, me uh, going at his junk.

        Will life ever exist for female celiacs after this post? I try to be spontaneous, as much as I can, ….

        We truly need a gluten detector, like for radiation. da da da da, ta ta ta, tick tick tick, OMG, I think I might have a nervous break down.

        Never ever, entered my mind. Sex will have to be in the shower from now on. Or me scrubbing his junk and hands.

        Life is hard as it is, pardon the pun.

      • And please, no one come back with ideas or suggestions about “hey, there are latex free condoms” unless you first go purchase one, open it, smell it, roll it onto something then put it in your mouth. Once you have been willing to do that, then suggest it. I’m assuming that once you smell it you’ll be out of ideas.

        Of course none of that is a problem for me… being married has its perks. :D

  11. Saw your graphic on instagram. Quite eye-catching! Thanks for taking the plunge and doing the hard work to get to the bottom of this touchy subject, my friend. We can always count on you. :)
    ~jules

  12. On a day when I didn’t think it was possible to laugh about this stupid disease you proved me wrong. THX. I needed reminding that having Celiac doesn’t mean I can’t giggle like a teenage girl again ( and I did!! Long and hard!) ;-P

  13. Wasn’t there a posting about an oral sex lubricant that was marketed specifically as GF a few weeks ago…. something called “blow paste”?

    • It was vegan too or something… idk. Since I figure it isn’t the sort of thing I’m going to be EATING I don’t really worry about ingredients other than true allergens. It is the type of product where performance is more important than pretty much any other issue.

  14. Wow. Thank you so much for this! I had wondered about this same thing for a while but was too embarrassed to ask a doctor. I tried Google but couldn’t find much. Also, this might sound like a silly question (I’m still new to this) but what about kissing? My boyfriend is not gluten free as of right now, is there any chance of getting glutened from kissing him?

    • Yes. He shouldn’t be kissing you if he hasn’t brushed. Maybe that will be good incentive for him to be gluten free, or at least on dates.

  15. My wife is a true celiac and we are frugal label readers.
    She enjoys her New Planet gluten free beer. HOWEVER, I still drink my favorite ‘regular’ beers.
    Am I incorrect in thinking that everything we consume permeates most if not all of our bodies ? And if so, would the beers gluten not be present in my sperm ?

    Thanks for bringing up this very IMPORTANT question.

    • It is not a concern. This is covered here: http://www.cureceliacdisease.org/?s=semen&submit=Search

      The more important thing which I pointed out in other comments is that since you are a gluten eater it is unlikely that you wash your hands before using the bathroom. This makes it important for you to shower or wash up before happy fun times. It isn’t your semen she needs to worry about, it is your junk in general because once you touch it with your gluteny hands you have gluteny junk.

  16. Is saliva? My husband chooses to be gluten free because I was always sick. We read an article that a girl who was allergic to Brazil nuts reacted to his sperm. We assumed it would be similar.

  17. Hey,

    Despite the actual make-up of semen, other food allergies have been triggered by semen. The first recorded instance occurred when the guy in question (since he knew his partner had allergies) took the time to brush his teeth and shower, removing all other sources of the allergen, and his partner still had to be rushed to the ER. Awkward to begin with, and then extra super awkward when the doctors had him eat more of the food she was allergic to and give them a “sample” for them to test on her skin- which reacted as it would to the allergen in any other form (http://www.jiaci.org/issues/vol17issue03/10.pdf). It is very early in this area of study, so few studies have been done on this topic. I don’t know of anyone doing any tests on this for gluten yet, but after finding that, I intend to be careful with my husband. I’m lying- I intend to ask him what he’s eaten and do a few trials-by-error first; and if it does affect me he’ll have to alter his lunchtime (the only time he eats away from our GF home) habits. The choice will be entirely his, but I have a feeling which way he’ll go :)

    Thanks for your blog!

  18. Any thoughts on the girls version of this? My husband has celiac and has had reactions after he’s….gone down…..*blushing face* My gyno says yes gluten can definitely be present in that, but all other research I’ve read says no. Grrrrrr annoying!

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