It never ends. It seriously never ends.
The constant ignorance out there and the constant need to defend ourselves about our disease and other food intolerances.
What set me off this time?
An utterly ridiculous article on Huff Post titled “Why Do Your Kid’s Allergies Mean My Kid Can’t Have a Birthday?” written by one Carina Hoskisson.
Here’s the link. Feel free to leave a comment.
It’s time for a Gluten Dude breakdown.
Let’s start with the title: Right away we have an entitled mom who thinks her child having a piece of birthday cake in school is more important than another child’s health. And who’s saying your kid can’t have a birthday? Won’t you celebrate at home? Isn’t one cake party enough for him?
She says: All over the country parents are being asked to accommodate the specialized needs of other people’s children thanks to the skyrocketing number of food allergies and food intolerances.
Dude says: And I wonder why this is. Could it be that half the things many of our kids are eating don’t even classify as food? Have you read the ingredients of some of the things out there?
She says: We can’t bring in homemade cookies or snacks; we’re asked to buy commercially prepared goods. Even if you agree to bring in commercially prepared snacks, you’re asked to make sure they’re “gluten, nut, and egg-free” or some other combination of scary food exorcism.
Dude says: People with allergies can die from one bite. People with celiac disease have their intestines attacked by their own body with one bite. Your kid getting a cupcake is worth this risk to other kids? Really?? Tell me…what color is the sky in your world?
She says: To a certain extent, I get it. When I was in high school, a girl in my town died from eating a few bites of a Twix bar that happened to contain traces of peanuts.
Dude says: “To a certain extent” you get it? Someone died and you only get it “to a certain extent”?? No that IS the extent. That’s why it’s so damn important.
She says: I would never endanger the life of a child over a peanut butter cookie; that would be ridiculous.
Dude says: Then what’s the point of your article? Let’s move on.
She says: However, I am rapidly reaching the end of my rope…One mom told me there were so many allergies in her children’s classes last year that all she could bring was gummy bears and juice boxes. Let me get this straight: I’m supposed to feed my kids processed, preservative-laden food because your kid has a wheat allergy?
Dude says: In a perfect world, we’d do away with the food parties altogether. It’s an old-school tradition that does not seem to have a place anymore. But if the teachers are insistent on having a food party and if processed crap is the only option to keep a kid safe (which we all know it’s not), then yeah, you do it.
Again, I ask…why is your child getting a piece of cake more important than another child’s health?
She says: I understand the problem with allergies because I have allergies; I’m allergic to egg whites. The difference is I don’t demand egg-free items when I go to parties or to work events.
Dude says: YOU’RE AN ADULT. You have the willpower to say no. As strong as a celiac child may be, it may be tough if everyone is having a cupcake and he/she feels left out. There is temptation that a child may not have the strength to overcome.
Comparing yourself to a child is ridiculous. Actually, in this case, maybe it’s not.
She says: I agree that a teacher should let all parents know about any life-threatening allergies in a classroom. However, my kid shouldn’t have to forgo his birthday cake because yours can’t eat it.
Dude says: Or you can teach your kid a lesson on empathy and tell him “another child’s health is more important than you getting a piece of cake at school…but hey don’t worry…we’ll have some awesome cake tonight.” Is that so hard to do?
She says: Some schools have even gone the route of banning all classroom birthdays and celebrations, which is ridiculous.
Dude says: No…actually…it’s not ridiculous. What’s ridiculous is that at a time when food allergies are becoming more and more prevalent, there is still such a lack of compassion and understanding.
Look…I’m all for balance and I’m all for letting our kids socialize at school and have some fun. But why does it need to be based around food? The only reason is because it’s always been done that way. Change takes time. It’s time to start.
She says: Let’s stop the allergy insanity, and let the rest of them eat cake — the lovely, homemade, buttery, gluten-stuffed cake.
Dude says: I have no more words for this woman. I just hope her kids grow up with more tolerance, more empathy and more understanding. Somehow…I doubt it. Cycles are hard to break.
When the Disney fiasco happened last year, the common argument against us was that “this is the pussification of America”. It’s like they all got the same memo or something.
Well, if standing up for something you believe in…if standing up for someone who is portrayed as weak and inferior because he has food allergies…if that’s “pussification”, then I’m the biggest p***y in the world.
Oh…and here’s the topper. As I’m writing this post, some bonehead posted this on Twitter: Kids teacher just emailed saying only gluten free snacks in the classroom. MY KID DOESNT HAVE CELIAC DISEASE! Ugh, hippies drive me INSANE.
Yep…that’s us…just a bunch of hippies with a made up disease.
So sorry for the inconvenience.
High five, Dude!
A rare afternoon blog post…that’s how riled up I was. I feel better already.
I love reading your stuff. So true and so familiar. My wife and I are constantly talking about the need to get rid of food at all school parties, because even if it is G-free it is not always healthy. Time to change the expectations.
And let’s not forget there are airborne and contact reactions from food allergies for certain kids. Some of them can’t be homeschooled and have a right to a public education without attempted murder on a daily basis. I’m so glad you spoke about this sad woman and the growing populous like her.
She has a blog post about a kid with epilepsy, and HER toddler kid stole 17+ donuts. Both she and the toddler are obese.
She’s got gluten issues in her future.
Abso-feaking-lutely. Heaven forbid we think out of the food party box and consider a game party with some physical activity.
I saw this post a few weeks ago, when it first appeared on Today’s Mama. I wrote a response on my own blog, and I also left Carina, the author, a few comments privately.
My blog post is here: http://atomic-pop.blogspot.com/2014/01/feeling-special-breaking-up-grind-and.html
The author’s blog is here, please leave her a comment there: http://www.jetsetcarina.com/
Thank you for bringing this to a wider audience. We still have so much work to do.
[clapping my hands] Well done.
Thank you! I am not a celiac, but we have food allergies in our family and I stand with my celiac brothers and sisters in the fight. 🙂
My hair is way too short to be a hippie. Does this mean I can have wheat again? Oh well, at least we have the pleasure of knowing we are driving him insane!
Bravo!!!
haven’t read the article yet, but I can see where it is going and can I say there is hope! my daughter is in high school(yes what I am about to say happened in a HIGH SCHOOL!) and her school did a cupcake exchange where for $1 you could buy your friend a cupcake and send a message, well my daughter got a cupcake yesterday from a friend(we’ve had a LOT of snow days so it was her first day back) well instead of the pink chocolate cupcake her friend had wanted to send someone from the school went and got her a prepackaged gluten free cupcake!! She was all emotionally prepared to give away any cupcakes she received and keep the little message cards but instead she got to enjoy a very yummy looking carrot cupcake!
*That* is a teacher (or student organizer) with panache. What a sweet thing to do!
You ROCK!! THANK YOU!!!
“if standing up for someone who is portrayed as weak and inferior because he has food allergies…”
I’d be happy to meet anyone in a dark alley to show them how weak and inferior I am. They can bring Jimmy Fallon with them.
Unfortunately GD, I think this is a microcosm of American culture in general. The “I can accept you as long as you don’t affect me” mentality,
Indeed.
I wonder if it would not be possible to try and make everyone happy. My son has a kid with celiac in his class and this kid has happily attended all the birthday parties since age 5. We don’t change around the traditional cake thing to accommodate him but we do put a couple of marshmellows on the cake and give the rest of the bag to him. The other kids are usually jealous of him. As a religious Jew who grew up with mostly non religious friends I had my share of parties at chucky cheese where I watched my friends eat pizza and cake while I had to make due with a (kosher) tuna sandwich and a home made brownie. It would have been really awful for everyone if they couldn’t have a party at chucky cheese because its not kosher and one kid keeps kosher. I know that health problems are much MUCH more serious than a child sneaking a non kosher treat, but kids in the minority need to learn that they are the minority and can’t and shouldn’t force the majority to change for them. Kids with celiac will have to spend their whole lives dodging foods. We can make the feel special and wanted by giving them special treats without changing around the traditional and beloved aspects of birthday parties and other events.
(It is also important to differentiate between diseases and age groups. Peanut allergies can lead to deaths simply by being in the same room. That means that there should be zero tolerance to peanuts for the sake of the health of that child. But other allergies are different. Also, in preschool kids can’t control themselves and don’t understand as much, so even with less serious allergies it is wise to withhold from the majority for the health of the minority, but this is not so as the kids get older.)
In theory, you are right. BUT, these kids are constantly being forced to give in to their issues, all the time, wherever they go. birthday parties, family parties, playdates, Is it so hard to find something everyone can eat at a class party so they don’t have to be THAT kid every time?I am guessing that marshmallow kid would trade his bag of marshmallows for cake if he could. But, it hasn’t been offered to him so he takes what he knows he can get. Seriously, the other kids in the class will survive if they can’t have a cupcake at one party. They can have one ANY other time. These kids can’t. and it’s not true that it doesn’t matter. Food is part of our celebrations. To be constantly excluded from that part of a celebration can get old. It starts to wear on kids after a while. Why can’t we be more compassionate and be more creative with our class parties? Keeping Kosher is not comparable. Technically, you could have eaten any of that food without any physical discomfort. You chose not to, maybe because of your own beliefs or to not disobey your parents, but if you did decide to eat pizza at chuck e cheeses (you were probably better off with your tuna sandwich, really), and told no one, and you were ok with it, no harm done.
Well said, JHana. Many people try to compare food allergies to Kosher or Vegan. These are religious and lifestyle choices, not medical conditions. A person can get tired of being a vegan and stop. They can eat cheese without having their throat close. A child allergic to dairy can walk into a room where a pizza party is happening and be overwhelmed by the steam and cheese, touch the chairs and tables others have touched, and end up in the Emergency Room with anaphylaxis. Their hearts can stop from exposure to a pizza party. There is a distinct difference.
CD, I agree. Religious adherence is down to personal belief and I say this with respect to those who follow it. A medical condition, diagnosed coeliac or not, where you are aware that you will become very ill if you are exposed is a completely different matter. In one you have a choice, in the latter you don’t.
Perfectly said! There is a world of difference between “won’t” and “can’t”.
I can’t believe some of the rude comments here from parents of children with food allergies. I understand it is very important to not provide party food with ingredients a child in the class may be allergic to. I one hundred percent agree with that because the child may not have good judgment and could possibly die.
Then some of you just dismissed what Shira posted earlier about Kosher beliefs and always being the kid who was left out and couldn’t eat at Chuck E Cheese, etc. You feel because it is not an “allergy” but instead a “religious choice” that it is okay for that child to be excluded. I don’t get it. Then you said ” Seriously, the other kids in the class will survive if they can’t have a cupcake at one party. They can have one ANY other time. These kids can’t.”
Please forgive me if I don’t understand….but can’t gluten free cupcakes be made any time at home too? I was the Seventh Day Adventist kid who would go to slumber parties and couldn’t participate in eating Krispy Kreme donuts from a string game… or the bacon served the next morning, etc. I wasn’t allowed to eat jello or pepperoni on the pizza. I had to constantly explain why I wasn’t eating certain things. I was always the excluded kid too. The cupcakes at school are not something a child has to eat…..it’s just a treat. Why is it more important for the “gluten free” kid to be “included” but not the “religious” kid? What about the “raw food” kid who can’t eat anything cooked cuz he’ll prob. get sick since his body is not used to it.
Then someone else mentioned a pizza party could send a child to the emergency room. Have the schools quit serving pizza yet? The child will have many temptations in the lunch room but I haven’t seen schools stop serving any of the crap. What’s to say that a child with a peanut allergy, will not ask another child for an M&M?
I don’t think school is a place to celebrate children’s birthdays anyway. Why does everyone need to know it’s some kid’s birthday? It will only remind the kids who didn’t get a party invitation that they are excluded.
I just finally finished reading all of the interesting comments….and a lot of you seem like the entitled parent who wrote the nasty article everyone is outraged about. I forgot to add that being Seventh Day Adventist also meant I wasn’t allowed to celebrate my own birthday or eat someone else’s cupcakes because the frosting may have had lard in it. I couldn’t dress up for Halloween and it was always awkward when the teacher would ask everyone what they did over Christmas break…me nothing! Then I would have to be questioned..”but don’t you believe in Jesus”?
But for those of you who think cupcakes should still be okay in school but the parents need to make them to your child’s dietary guidelines…are you considering all of the other children who may still be excluded?
I am just astounded that you actually said “It is also important to differentiate between diseases and age groups. Peanut allergies can lead to deaths simply by being in the same room. That means that there should be zero tolerance to peanuts for the sake of the health of that child. But other allergies are different.” Do you not understand Celiac disease? This can cause death as well. I am not going to get into a big long argument with you about this, but perhaps you should study up on it!
This is an eye opening discussion. I am sure that for parents whose kids have allergies, it must be so frustrating, even infuriating, that the rest of us just don’t understand. We have not walked in your shoes. We don’t know what it’s like to worry that our child will end up in hospital because of a cupcake. Having said that, from this side of the fence, it’s easy to feel attacked and therefore defensive towards those who criticize our desire to have a cupcake party. I (think I) get what you are saying, but an explanation of how it feels to be the parent of a child with allergies, or a description of what a party feels like to the child who can’t join in might be more persuasive and less antagonistic. Tell me I’m an insensitive jerk and I am less inclined to listen. Tell me how it feels to be you and I’m all ears and want to help.
I know this post and the replies were probably written in an emotional moment and I know that hearing ignorant replies time after time and seeing your kids disappointed faces must be so very difficult. Just know that there are probably a lot of people like me who want to bake cupcakes for their kids and take them to school, BUT we also want what is best for all the kids, not just our own. If we understand, we can explain to our kids so that they also understand.
Tulip…this is no time for a rational discussion. Totally kidding. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. From my side of the fence, and I’ll just speak for me, I’d rather not have the cupcakes in school. A kid can survive school without a birthday party full of sugared up cake which may pose a danger to other children. To me…it’s cut and dry.
This is a great discussion. Please don’t forget that kids with food allergies grow up to be adults with food allergies. It doesn’t get any easier over time, just because you are older. You will always be sitting on the perimeter of a gathering while your coworkers and family sing happy birthday and celebrate with cake, or eat other food that will make you sicker than a dog. I always have to remind myself not to take it out on the people around me. It’s not their fault I can’t eat whatever is put in front of me. Its emotionally painful and takes a lot of effort to smile and tell the people around…”I’m ok” when you really want to scream and put out your best effort to choke back the emotions of dealing with food allergies.
I take my own food to parties. My purse has become a “snack bag” with something in it that will hold me over till I can really eat something that won’t make me sick. The constant “staff interviews” in restuarants to make sure the food doesn’t include mystery ingredients raises eyebrows around the table. I’m not picky, I just don’t want to spend the next few days living near a toilet. Lately, I’ve taken to describing the gory details of what it feels like, the symptoms and the outcomes. It makes people uncomfortable – TMI!!! However they asked – “what is the worse that can happen”. It sucks. It really sucks having food allergies. I challenge anyone to spend a day in a child’s shoes with food allergies and attend a party centered around food. It’s not all that fun.
Tulip, I really appreciate your comment. I have celiac disease, but was diagnosed almost 5 years ago (at age 20). I know all about cupcake parties, fresh bread, and just being a kid. Being celiac sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Sure we put on a tough face and brave the world, I mean, how lucky are we that of all the diseases we could get, this one can be completely managed by food? That being said, it’s still a disease.
For the person who mentioned that celiac disease is the same as a nut allergy… it’s not. Yes, many celiacs have very severe reactions which cause unmentionable damage for weeks (or months). But… for those with just plain old celiac disease (not dermatitis herpeteformis), this reaction only happens in you ingest something. I hate to say it, but just don’t eat anything and nothing bad will happen (assuming you aren’t in the middle of a flour throwing party). For peanuts, it can be as dangerous and smelling. They don’t have the power to avoid the contaminant. While someone with celiac will certainly feel left out, the damage will be psychological and not physical.
As far as being left out, it hurts. I’m an adult, was diagnosed as an adult, and have rather thick skin. But no one, especially children, enjoy being left out. Just this past weekend I went for breakfast at a friends and they went out of their way to get a gf pancake mix for my pancakes (everyone else had scratch pancakes). I made mine after they finished theirs (yes, I cleaned the pan thoroughly), but a few people had to leave pretty quick so they all started eating. Now my friends are some of the most accommodating and thoughtful people I know, but it really sucks to stand in the kitchen by yourself making breakfast while everyone else digs in. I felt bad for feeling bad.. I mean really, I got my gluten free pancakes. But it’s never the same.
Now to imagine children in school, who just want to feel included. I completely get the idea of sending safe snacks to school for the allergy kids (I wouldn’t trust someone else’s baking), but it’s not the same as getting the same snack. I would never be upset at the parent who wants to make their child feel special on their birthday. What a wonderful parent – that’s exactly what I’d want to do too! That being said, a little compassion and thought goes a really long way for those will food restrictions. They didn’t ask for these allergies, no matter how severe they are. I’m not saying everyone should have to eat gluten free, egg free, nut free, yeast free, fun free food. I’m just saying that maybe food shouldn’t be the focus.
I’m still wondering in this day and age of schools having not enough funds and not enough time in the day to do academic stuff, why are there birthday parties? When I was in school the teacher would announce a birthday, everyone would sing, maybe you’d wear a special badge or hat for the day, and that was it. No edible treats, and no party. I don’t think they should be having Valentines Day or Halloween parties either.
The point of school is to learn – isn’t it?
Hi Andrea,
I am in total agreement with you. I feel like my kids are inundated with treats and junk food everywhere they go. It’s not just at school parties, which seem like they happen everyday, and birthday parties, but soccer games, trips to the bank, church, candy given out at the grocery store check out line, etc. It has got to stop. If my siblings and I had been offered and eaten the volume of treats that my kids are exposed to on a daily basis we would all probably be morbidly obese adults. Fortunately, this was not the case when we were kids!
I haven’t been fired up about this topic for a while, but GD’s post and your comment are firing me up again! At my daughter’s nursery school the only snacks/treats allowed are fresh fruits and veggies, since there are so many small children with food allergies in her class. I have never once heard her complain about having to eat grapes or carrots at school.
Jess
I coached my kids soccer teams for many years. When I started, the tradition was one parent always brought snacks for after the game. After three years of this, I thought “who needs oreo’s at 10:00 in the morning”. I sent out an email to all the parents saying no more after game snacks for the team. And I did it for the next 6 years. Surprisingly, nobody balked.
That was my first reaction–I don’t remember ever having birthday celebrations for anyone at school, other than a brief recognition that is was someone’s birthday and maybe singing the song. (I started first grade in 1975, and I attended both public and private schools) We never had food of any kind to celebrate a birthday. I honestly don’t remember any parties during school except an “end of the year” party with maybe punch and cookies for half an hour. Is this a new thing?
I’ve just read your post to my hubby as we’ve tucked In To HOMEMADE double choc chip gluten free cookies. Ok they did have eggs so maybe I should leave that bit out but I did make gluten, egg and dairy free brownies this past Christmas and they were lovely. Luckily here in the UK this birthday party issue isn’t overly relevant. Mt daughter’s school banned them long ago and, guess what, the kids still sing Happy Birthday, and no-one needs therapy as a result of no cake! Great post. Thankfully I’m the only coeliac in our family but my family eats gluten free cakes quite happily. The author of the article in the Huff Post needs to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before writing again I think!
As always, you are right on, and fabulous! I liked the comments on Huffington Post, she really didn’t get any support.
The comments are all so civilized! It makes me feel so much better about internet-humanity to see so many reasonable responses to the article. And didn’t the writer ever learn to wait a day before publishing? This one seems like a bad case of blowing off steam without thinking.
Every point you made is spot on. Thank you for being our voice to the idiots who refuse to be educated.
“Could it be that half the things many of our kids are eating don’t even classify as food? Have you read the ingredients of some of the things out there?”
Perhaps partly due to that, but it could also be the fact that we travel more, and people are surviving illnesses and then going on to have children of their own. While care for those with food issues is far better than it was 30 years ago, there are things we are doing within our environment (dietary and otherwise) that may be impacting the younger generation.
Awesome post. I’d go to HP and read the whole thing myself but it’s the slowest website in the world and I’ve only got so many decades left to live. Between this and your breakdown, no need.
The boorishness of this “crusader” re: food sensitivity issues is bad enough all by itself, but here’s another angle. I’d like to know if she feels that it’s fair for her kid to have birthday celebrations at school in the first place when there are plenty of other kids who have summer birthdays and wouldn’t get to celebrate theirs with all their school friends, who wouldn’t necessarily be so easy to gather together at that time of year. One might even wonder from her outspokenness whether this matter is so important to her that she… umm… timed her child’s birth to ensure he wouldn’t be denied this “privilege”.
What I find interesting is the part she must have added after you copied the article…she says “obviously not if the kid has a serious issue” then goes on to say she should be able to bring what she wants. OBVIOUSLY the crazy boat left without her IT CAN NOT BE BOTH WAYS!!
Schools ask for commercial products so they can label read for allergins…period. Issue with home made is people add things like eggs & nuts that aren’t obvious & kids die…that simple!!! Is she going to be “really sorry” when her kids peanut butter sandwich kills someone? What about when her cake crumbs cause the celiac kid to spend the next week in the bathrooom (if not the hospital). But she “feels really bad” doesn’t protect the other kids. Worst is kid on her sons soccer team (likely a good friend) is worthy of an alternate snack…but his class mates are not???
You nailed this one GD, stop the crazy train please!!!
Wow, that’s all I got for you at the moment!!! This disease sucks, I almost told somebody the other day I had a different illness so that just once I would be understood, I didn’t do it but wow, what is the problem??? Thank you for putting your butt on the front line for us!
Wow. I really don’t know what else to say besides WOW. Uggghhhhh…I’m such a fucking hippie.
I am a teacher, and parties don’t take up a little time during the day – they take up most of the day because once the party starts, those kids are not focused on academics until the next day. And, a typical classroom of 25 students? That’s 25 BIRTHDAY PARTIES! They don’t belong at school!
Loved your responses to her article! Wish it could be published somewhere so that she could read it.
Agreed. I’ve been a kindergarten teacher for 20 years and I can personally vouch for most teachers when I say that it is NOT the teacher who wants the parties. If a family member insists on bringing something for a child’s birthday, I require that it be something small and available for all children to eat. I serve it at snack time so we don’t lose any of our learning time.
People who write purposely provocative articles like Hoskisson’s are most often trolls who enjoy getting attention and reposts of their article. It worked, in your case as you too posted a link to her rubbish. However, I can totally understand why you linked it and I wholeheartedly appreciate the time it took for you to so clearly set the record straight about this issue. My greatest wish is that, as a society, we would be able to just turn our backs on silly twits who choose to spout their ignorance in the name of getting attention. If they are ignored, eventually most would probably lose interest and slink away.
With all due respect to you, M, you should know that a teacher waits until the last 15-20 minutes of the day to have a bithday celebration. That way you DON’T lose all the teaching time available. You can send the little jewels home with a sugar high that way, and you don’t have to deal with it. 🙂
High five! I don’t even have kids and this got me riled up! I don’t expect everyone to know about, or even understand, celiac disease, food allergies, etc…but her comments were just flat out rude.
Back at ya!
I love reading stuff like this. As of now, I don’t know anyone else who has celiac (which I guess is a good thing; I wouldn’t wish it on anyone) so it makes me happy that there’s a whole virtual community of fellow celiacs who know EXACTLY how I feel. I wish none of us had it, but hey. I just try to make the best of it. The people on here are awesome!
Well, there was no need to leave her a reply because all the other posters were saying everything I felt. Even the moms that didn’t have kids with allergies (intolerances) wrote great replies. I keep saying that I won’t engage anymore with people who are so bloody stupid and insensitive but I still get so pissed off.
PLEASE give your kid all the crap you want, PLEASE DON”T give my kid ANY food…I will take care of her. And PLEASE keep your stupid, insensitive opinions to yourself.
I saw a link to your article from a GF bakery that I follow in FB. I have Celiacs disease (along with severe food allergies). I have to say that of two minds regarding this topic. I have two children in school and I feel that class food celebrations play an important part of school life and beyond. In our schools we have several students with Celiacs and severe food allergies. We as a community have come together and have found that you CAN have the party with planning and compassion. There are so many wonderful options, fruit, veggies, meat, commercially available baked goods and sweets that are certified for specific allergies. Everyone can learn and practice inclusion. To cancel all celebrations is an extremist reaction to a situation that has solutions.
As an adult I’ve learned to adapt the 10 years since my diagnosis. Human beings, including the younger ones, are more adaptable. My son at an early age learned how to navigate his food allergies. In our school we have peanut free areas for grades K-2 and after that kids with allergies are really pretty good about safe practices. Accidents do happen, you see those in the news and they are unfortunate.
Let the celebrations continue with inclusion, joy and celebrations of our culture through food!
“Accidents do happen, you see those in the news and they are unfortunate.”
It’s all about risk-reward. A birthday party during school time is not a big enough reward to risk a child getting sick.
At our school we do celebrations for major holidays and cultural events, not birthdays.
Thankfully the parents in our school are great about finding healthy and safe food choices for the kids when we do have food involved in our celebrations. Often I’m tasked with providing gluten free choices since I’ve been dx for 10 years now and I have a good repertoire of foods.
I also never EVER eat out at a restaurant because being exposed to gluten means a trip to the hospital along with the strong possibility of being put back on heart medication. I’m very safe with my baking to make sure we don’t get sick. 🙂
At my last job, folks would bring in baked goods all the time, sometimes they even make me GF goodies. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I probably wouldn’t eat them because I couldn’t trust that their kitchen was contamination-free. That’s why the pre-packaged, certified safe stuff is probably the best way to go. Most of our religions in the States celebrate with food, and that’s probably why these things have trickled down into secular celebrations as well. I’m all for celebrating stuff, but let’s do it safely. And yeah, don’t make a kid choose, or feel bad cause they can’t participate.
Way to go Dude!!! Truth is there is no more time in school for cupcakes and parties! Party with your own kid and his two friends that don’t have allergies!!! Or hey teach tolerance compassion and understanding of others before your own! Truth is her kid doesn’t need the cupcake … Her kid needs an awesome role model. Now her kid doesn’t have either the gluten cup cake or the good role model. And by the way lots of people have celiac and aren’t diagnosed yet. Now that would be Karma!
Ignorance, complete ignorance. FYI Carina Hoskisson, the author of the completely ridiculous article in the Huff Post, I actually send gluten free snacks to school for my son so your child can enjoy their “gluten full cake” and mine doesn’t feel left out. Bite me lady, you’re a complete moron. I hope you teach your children better than you were obviously taught.
I don’t have a problem with school parties, but I’m always sure that Brody (my 9 year old celiac sufferer) has a stock pile of GF snacks in the classroom so he can join in on the fun. We have a small school district and it has taken some time, but now everyone is pretty good about making sure he can participate. Actually, his Valentines party was the 1st time I didn’t have to switch out any of his treats! Everything he was given was completely safe for him! Kudos to those parents who send treats and try their hardest to make sure they’re safe for everyone! And thanks to those moms and dads…take notes Carina Hoskisson, that’s how you raise kids who put others before themselves…you dillhole.
I need to start using the word “dillhole” more often. It’s quite effective without crossing the line of being too raunchy.
I know, right?! It’s the perfect way to insult…lightly. Just wanted you to know that I LOVE your blog and everyone that comments too. It really seems that this is a very educated group of people who say the right things without being obscene about it! It seems, however, that every time I read this blog I get “fired up” as my husband would call it! Nothing makes me more mad than people who act like they know about celiac or who act like it’s “no big deal”. Yep, tell that to a celiac sufferers intestines. Just wanted you and everyone on here to know how much I appreciate all of you 🙂
You should use dill hole more often…its an a**hole that smells better & in a pinch can be used for making pickles! 😉
You said exactly right- “BITE ME LADY!” LOL( Hope you don’t choke on your gluten and butter laden cupcake) enough said!
My son is 11 & gluten intolerant. I am vigilant about what he eats, in our home but it is his choice outside of our home. He knows what happens when he consumes gluten &/or dairy. Weigh the consequences with the food. Maybe that pizza will be worth it. He gets tired of feeling ill then is more confident in his decisions to stay away from it & not feel bad about eating it. We cant tell yet if our toddler is gluten sensitive yet, but we dont give her any at home. Will she get goldfish crackers from her Sunday school teacher? Yes. Will i complain? No. My toddler loves playing in that group and one hour a week with a handful of crackers won’t kill her. I have bigger fish to fry. Besides, even when she brings her own GF snacks we know she will steal the other kids food anyway.
On a short happy note, my sister is an elementary school teacher. A class mother tried to raise a ruckus about the unfairness of having to limit food parties at school because of allergies that her child doesn’t have. The next day, my sister spoke to her class of 1st graders about why they would not be having food parties and all of the children agreed that they would rather have no snacks than have one of their friends get sick. I’m grateful that she took the time to explain it to the kids and overjoyed by their simple and unselfish acceptance.
Yeah…it’s usually the parents that are the issue. So sad. Who are the grown ups?
The children are! 😀
Pretty sad world we’re living in when a grown woman doesn’t have better sense than a bunch of six year olds. SMH. More proof that we need to keep educating.
Thank you for bringing this to everyone’s attention. It really pains me to see articles like this over and over. I went in and commented and shared my own Huffington Post piece with her about these social implications. I hope she and others realize the nature of what they’re saying.
I see this article as being part of the “everyone gets a f’ing medal” epidemic. Since when was the rule written that your kids classmates have to celebrate that your child survived another year? (Ok that might be a little harsh but she called me a hippie.) We are raising a generation of children that don’t understand that people in life are differently situated and we can’t all be equal.
This totally ticks me off! I work in a classroom where one child has a dairy allergy, one has a peanut allergy and fish allergy. Let this Mother watch a child who cannot have what the others are having. Over time, that takes a toll on any child! An adult can reason why they cannot have something. Try explaining that to a 5 year old, They get it, but it hurts.
I work with a great co worker, who understands my Celiac disease and we go out of our way to make sure all our kids never feel left out! Unfortunately, parents like this, are teaching ME ME ME and no compassion for others. .
Great post, Karma is a b**ch and just because her kids don’t have food allergies now doesn’t mean they can’t come about later. I feel sorry for the people her children will become…
This one definitely fired me up. First, as a food allergy mom, I’m appalled. Second, as an elementary school teacher, I look at parents like this as the current problem with the state of education in our country. ENTITLED parents!!! Everything is all about them. There is no concern for others. All she cares about is her poor little baby and his cake. Who cares if it kills anyone else in the class!?!
This really clarifies how our country has gone to hell in a hand basket so quickly! Never heard “no” entitled “the world owes me” kid went out & got knocked up young. Now their children deserve the moon because “mommy said so”. To heck with anyone elses safety the oh so precious 300lb 6 year old needs cake!!!
Perfection! I like your chutzpah. I will be sharing!
Thanks Gluten dude! You couldn’t have replied any better!
I was DX’d with Celiac last April and I am so appalled by how people act towards me eating gluten free. I’ve had people tell me “oh a little gluten won’t hurt” or “aren’t you being a bit oversensitive?” If these people knew how sick I get when I eat gluten and spent the next few days with me after eating it they would maybe understand! People only take the time to educate themselves about these things if it is in their best interest otherwise they really don’t care. It’s very sad to me and this woman who wrote this article should be ashamed of how selfish she is acting. I can only sit here and shake my head.
Well said! Thank you for standing up to this ridiculous article on behalf of all kids with milk allergies. As a teacher and parent of a child with food allergies, I would LOVE to see food treats eliminated from the classroom!
This woman is obviously an insensitive dillhole. Thanks Sara! I like that word too. 🙂
The way she started off her article with the Facebook post is funny because I responded to a similar one not long ago. One of my friends was trying to figure out what to do for a child in her daughter’s class who had a gluten allergy (her words, not mine). From all the comments it seemed like she was leaning toward getting a gf cupcake from a local bakery that was obviously not a dedicated gf bakery and that worried me. So I commented and told her it was nice that she wanted to include the child but that the bakery might not be safe and proceeded to explain why. I probably said too much and went into too much detail because her response was “well, now you’ve totally freaked me out. I’ll just call the teacher in the morning.” It’s so hard to know how to respond to stuff like that without overdoing it. I thought about that for days – really wondered if I could have handled it differently – because I don’t want to be the weird gluten girl. Education is a difficult thing especially when it comes to this disease. In the end I figured if anything I said kept that child from getting sick, then being weird gluten girl was totally worth it!
It’s hard not to recoil in these situations, isn’t it but you did the best thing for that child. It is so hard to wrap your head around this disease when you’re living it let alone not! So, you go, “weird gluten girl”! There are WAY worse things to be called.
Thanks Sue! I will proudly answer to that title ANY day! 🙂
Very well-stated! I wanted to reply “Why does your kid’s birthday cake trump my child’s right to live?” but decided it wouldn’t be worth it.
And food issues aside, wth are we doing allowing classrooms to have upwards of 30 parties a year, particularly with the rigorous requirements of Common Core? A total waste of time. Celebrate birthdays in a big way at home and let school (with the exception of a holiday and Valentine’s Day party, perhaps) be a place that focuses on learning.
As you being one of the first people to welcome me and offer support on a never ending journey it would seem. I loved what you wrote. I can’t believe how some ppl think. I’d rather have my kid healthy then eating cupcakes. Do many alternatives so nobody feels left out. Both my children are having to be tested. Thank you got being our VOICE!!
Much appreciated Misti 🙂
Apparently, it is us gluten-free hippy liberals that are ruining birthdays for the whole damn country! Did you see this gem today?
http://www.humanevents.com/2014/02/18/why-liberals-get-away-with-the-gluten-free-scheme-and-conservatives-do-not/
Saw it…thought about mentioning it…but didn’t want to give the guy any attention whatsoever. I’ll just stay over here to the left 😉
Back in the day, the kids in my classed LOVED when it was my birthday. I was the only one to bring in ice cream while everyone else shared Munchkins. Of course today it would be vegan ice cream, but still… coolest kid in 3rd grade!
I love your response to this! I have a child with EoE, significant food allergies and was disgusted by what this woman wrote. Thank you, Gluten Dude 🙂
This is probably the same mother who expects organic, homegrown snacks at her soccer games! She’d be singing a different tune if it were her child who needed to be protected!!
Also the reason behind only store bought treats at school isn’t about allergies – it’s about food safety. I remember when my children were still in elementary school and the policy went into effect. The school district sent home notices stating that there had been concern expressed about homemade treats so from that point forward all treats had to be commercially prepared. I personally was relieved – as a single parent with four children it was a blessing to be able to pick up cookies or other snacks at the grocery and not have to spend an entire evening preparing treats and then take time off from work to deliver them.
There are plenty of non-junk food treats that can be provided. How about instead of focusing on loading children up with sugar and fake food we start offering fruits and vegetables? Better yet let’s just do away with food parties all together? Instead have all the parents provide small non-food treats – stickers, cool pencils, erasers etc to be put into a little goodie bag. :c ) There you go – no more worrying about what your child’s little hippe classmates can’t eat. :c P
I just read an article in Women’s Health magazine and I was simply flummoxed! The title was: “Some gluten free foods might be making you fat!” I assumed it was going to be an article stating the obvious that gluten free junk food is still junk food…oh no…the first item was a gluten free granola that said instead of eating this granola, eat this one instead as it is healthier! Only one problem, the second item was Special K!!!! I thought they must be joking! Nope! The next one said I should skip gluten free bread and eat sandwich thins, whole wheat sandwich thins!!!! Apparently this article had nothing at all to do with gluten sensitivities or celiac. It was for those who think gluten free is a cute little hippee diet we all go on for fun and to lose a few pounds!!! Pisses me off!!!
Hum…my kid has the flu but I need to work and she wants to go SO why should I keep my kid home to protect yours???
There are (sadly) people in this world who are so self centered they will NEVER get it or gave empathy toward others whether related to food allergies, mental illness or any issue they feel is an inconvenience. My daughter has a life threatening peanut allergy and some of my FAMILY MENBERS did not “get it” until a family friend had it too. Amazing…I was the over protective over reacting mom but our friend was “in tune” and lucky to learn of the allergy before sonething terrible happened …go figure.
Life is full of difference, surprises, inconveniences, interruptions etc etc why not teach our children how to adjust and rolll with life’s punches instead of trying to change and make life easier so they learn how to handle life’s inevitable obstacles? By not teaching our children these uneducated unempathetic adults ate harming their own chdren more than they realize!!!! Oh and endangering my child along the way!!!!
I own a gluten free bakery in a relatively small community. I realize that there are different practices in different areas, but most of the people who come in for cupcakes for class parties here, are doing so BECAUSE the child WITH Celiac or other allergies NORMALLY has to eat a piece of fruit or other type of Safe treat while ALL of the “normal” children get to eat cupcakes or cake in Front of them. How Incredibly “KIND and THOUGHTFUL” for a child to sit and watch all the other kids eat CAKE while They GET Fruit. JOY JOY for them. And YET, there ARE some Truly Kind and Thoughtful people who will come in and spend $60 so that the WHOLE Class can have the Same, (Probably BETTER Tasting and Definitely Healthier than their “Gluteny stuff), Gluten FREE Cupcakes as the ONE Child who MUST eat GF. When they can’t afford that much, I recommend they just get 1 or 2 cupcakes for the child who Needs it. How Pleasant for them to NOT Feel left out and Separated. When I was in school, we NEVER had Birthday Parties. Once or twice a year food may have been brought into a class.
It’s the Same mentality of people who REFUSE to eat at a Restaurant that Has gluten free offerings to help a friend or family member out, even THOUGH these people can Order ANYTHING on the Menu, They EXPECT their “Loved One” to sit and WATCH Them eat at a restaurant that THEY Prefer, where there is NOTHING their friend can Eat. It’s Purely SELFISH and INCONSIDERATE
This was perfect. I could hug you. My child has no safe foods. What I have taken from this experience is that it has made me a better person, a more compassionate, empathetic, considerate person. My kids are too. Im glad im that much of a better person and mother . My allergic child is not school age but our elementary is a no food in the classroom. Yesssss! Some districts are indeed catching on.
{{{{{{hug}}}}}}
You apologized, but I get the feeling that you’re not really sorry.
If you are a regular reader, you would get the irony of this.
Oh…he/she was talking to me? Now I get it.
🙂
hmm, let’s see…as a career educator, “hippie”, ” liberal” and a celiac,
I am laughing at her obvious ignorance, but mostly I am appalled by her lack of compassion for others and her over-blown sense of entitlement that her kid should be celebrated just because he had a birthday. As if not allowing it will somehow affect his psyche? No one did that in our school when I was growing up. No cakes in the classroom. (and gee, I have no problems with self worth as a result)
Since when is party time on the curriculum? (and what happens if the kid’s birthday is in July? do they get left out?) And oh no! will that, in turn, cause little Joey to feel cheated and unloved? (insert eye- rolling emoticon here)
Once that sugar hits the system, I’m pretty sure those kiddos are going to be revved up and then crash and require a nap sometime around 2.
I have a sad feeling about the direction all of this is taking. Parents like this are raising a nation of kids who think “I am the most important person in the world and I don’t really give a crap about any of you”.
And the concept of rewarding mediocrity and giving awards “just because you showed up and sat there” makes me even more concerned about what exactly these parents are teaching their kids, but that’s a topic for another day.
All I can say is: Nice going, crazy mom! You’re doing a great job raising a kid who will always think it’s okay to be a selfish prig.
Karma eventually bites all these types on the ass, so….. 🙂
Nodding my head throughout your entire comment.
I agree with you. I think most people do, too, judging from the feedback she got. I mean, I’m sorry-but has her child NEVER had a cupcake? Is this his/her ONLY chance to have a cupcake? It’s mildly challenging to find food that all kids can eat when there are multiple issues, but why not make the extra effort so the kid who always has to have something different doesn’t always have to be that kid? I know plenty of kids with food allergies who make concessions all the time. When they go to birthday parties, school celebrations, family parties, pretty much anywhere. They are ALWAYS not getting a cupcake, unlike her kid who isn’t getting one just this once. Why not be kind and go the extra effort, and stop worrying that her kid is being deprived. He/she will survive eating gummy bears once or twice a year. I promise
Right on dude. Parents need to understand that food doesn’t make a party if it’s a danger to the party guests. It is very sad that this generation of kids is way more threatened by food then ours was but times have changed! My daughters classroom has issues with gluten, dairy, peanuts and almost forgot she is strawberry free too. For her birthday we skipped the treat, instead I came to the class and read a story and brought a craft project for the kids – and they loved it! Perhaps it’s time for parents to put more value on TIME and ATTENTION and less on what crap they can buy.
I enjoyed reading this. My son does not have Celiacs but he has Eosinophilic Esophagitis and it is very similar to that except for his trigger foods attack his esophagus which makes for a lot of problems. I hear over and over the same story you were telling even to the point that family members just do not get why they cannot have a “real” cake on their birthdays and why everything has to be around accommodating him. I have friends that get mad because I will not go to their birthday parties due to their cake and ice cream and what ever else they have going…My son is 6 and has had so many reactions resulting in hospitalization that he is afraid to eat anything or go places that might be contaminated with foods that could hurt him…It is sad for such a young man to have so much fear but what is worse is the ignorance of the world we live in that would rather risk the health of an innocent child (who did not ask to be sick or have health problems) just for some stupid food….this to me is the equivalent of teasing and bullying a cancer patient…but it has been accepted that doing that is not okay…so when will people realize that bullying a child over food allergies or an allergy related disease also is not okay….I feel bad for these kids, not because they have allergies, but because they are stuck having to be put down because of it or made fun of or told that they really do not have allergies that it is all in the parents head. Sad world we live in..just sad.
Whatever. I have a summer birthday, so I never once got to celebrate at school with cake or anything else, and I turned out alright. Personally, I don’t recall having birthday parties with cake for other kids during the school day – maybe we’d sing happy birthday or something, but I can’t recall that it was a big thing.
There are certainly wheat free, peanut free, dairy free, egg free, gluten free packaged treats out there if she cared to look – she could bring in a bunch of enjoy life chocolate bars, for one thing.
Silver lining is that most of the comments on the Huffpost seem to be calling this woman out for being a selfish, entitled complainer who thinks her kid eating cake at school is more important than another kid’s life-threatening allergy or disease.
People like this lady is one of the many reasons I question even having a child of my own. I have very limited faith in the future generations.
I’m considering giving my kids back. Just kidding.
You’re overreacting pretty strongly. If your kid has allergies, educate them–yes, kids also possess willpower, and understanding their health limitations is a lifelong task that needs to start early. Don’t penalize other peoples’ kids because yours doesn’t get why you won’t give them certain foods.
Not celebrating with food on a holiday is not penalizing the other kids. The fact remains that school is a place of learning not a place for celebration of birthdays or holidays. Educate them yes. Your kids should learn to empathize at a young age, too.
Okay, this begs a response.
” If your kid has allergies, educate them–yes, kids also possess willpower, and understanding their health limitations is a lifelong task that needs to start early. Don’t penalize other peoples’ kids because yours doesn’t get why you won’t give them certain foods.”
So you want kiddos with food allergies and celiac to be “educated and learn to tolerate limitations and exercise willpower”? that’s a lot for a young babe, but okay….got it! check! no problem. Every child I know with celiac has accepted their diagnosis with grace and a “that’s okay!” attitude…..(more so than any adult I know) LOL.
but…. all the OTHER PEOPLE’s KIDS …. should just… what?? be uneducated and have no tolerance for others and have no willpower whatsoever?
hmm.. seems like a double standard to me.
Which is EXACTLY why this Mom’s article is so damn offensive.
And how are they “being penalized”–because what? they may miss out on one damn cupcake? They are going to have a birthday party anyway at home. Be real, will you.
The school, the teachers, the staff who has to clean up after.?..trust me, they do not give a shyte about these parties. The parents are the ones demanding this extra- curricular stuff.
Which is EXACTLY why this Mom’s article is so damn offensive.
Now do you get it?
We (and I would include myself in this we) keep arguing that the kid who is lucky enough not to have any allergies can always still celebrate his birthday at home but maybe we’re overlooking something here.
Perhaps this woman for whatever reason just can’t be bothered to go to this trouble for her child and just expects the school to do it for her. Makes her sound lazy, I suppose, but I’m not sure she really deserves the benefit of the doubt.
I agree with you on everything except one point: “If the teachers want….” I can tell you wholeheartedly the teachers DO NOT want these celebrations. PARENTS bring that crap in. Cause guess how much learning takes place when 25 kids are on a sugar high? Teaching elementary music I *dread* holidays because five kids parents feel the need to bring in sugary crap. When I taught middle school, my principal would do assemblies and special events on holidays where the kids would already be juiced up from candy and crap (like Halloween). So the disruption would at least be contained to just one day.
Believe me, teachers would be just as happy as you to get rid of this “tradition”
Good point. But don’t the teachers set the rules? I’m asking out of curiosity, not to question you.
I know that the teachers want the parties (at least at my children’s schools) I have tried numerous times to get food free classrooms with food free parties even given multiple doctors notes and other documentations just to find out the the teachers do not want to be food free because it is a treat (or reward)…it has become the norm and thus teachers are afraid to change it. Maybe because they do not want the parents freaking out on them or they do not want to have to explain why they are doing food free celebrations..but for what ever reason the teachers around here are 100% against doing food free celebrations.
Lovely. Thank you so much for these words. This year in my kiddos school has been hellacious when it comes to food (two with food allergies) and it’s just because people don’t try to understand. The lack of empathy is staggering.
Just a simple “Amen!”
I agree with you Dude!!The solution is to get rid of the food parties and snacks taken to school all together. Maybe this is old school of me but since when is it necessary for kiddies to have birthday parties at school,a another one at church and then a big private party at home with all the neighborhood kids and all their cousins and friends.. It’s ridiculous. one party AT HOME is more than enough!. This woman that wrote that article and people like her are raising a generation of whiners and cry babies!. I tell you, it is not us “hippies” (people with celiac disease) that feel entitled we don’t expect everyone to cater us just please don’t assault us at every turn with poison- aka gluten- is that too much to ask?Everyone wants to be able to have fun and wants to give their kids good things but this stuff is taken way too far. Kids now-a days are so spoiled and pampered. I am not that old… I am approaching 42.Our generation and those before us, never had birthday parties at school or at church.Most of the kids I knew, myself included, didn’t even get a huge birthday party every year from our parents much less 3 or 4 of them. We got parties maybe every year up til about age 6 or so and then after it was only big event years like when you turned 13 or your sweet 16. The rest of time birthdays were low key where got a few presents and a cake made by your mom and maybe a birthday card in the mail from Grandma. no fan fare, not everyone is the world catering to you.. I am I the only one here that birthdays were not a major world-wide event?,I don’t ever remember getting cookies, candy or snacks of any kind at school during class hours- except at lunch time. We all survived-none of us were deprived or starving to death that we could not wait for lunch or emotionally scarred that we never got treats at school. I don’t even remember having even one party at school.. EVER.. maybe one when a beloved teacher retired. The only party time we got was recess and we were lucky to have that! What?. so the precious kids of today will die if they can’t have their parties and birthdays celebrated during school hours? They will be scarred for life if they can’t have a cupcake at school?.. I think not! I am not out of touch here. I have children-8 of them . 7 of them still at home ages 21-5. and I love them to pieces- each and everyone one of them .We do special things for them-we do- their parents- but we don’t expect every one that shares a classroom with them to fawn over them every year on their birthday – We teach them to love others and have compassion.. We don’t give them the message they are entitled like so many kids are taught that they should expect to be treated like little princes and princesses by everyone around them .. We have taught them the world does not revolve around them and sometimes life is unfair.. and hey you don’t always get everything you want. but they also know Mom and Dad love them , are here for them and would give our lives for them. They have everything they need and some things that they want. If that makes us bad parents then so be it!
GD-
Grrrrrrrrr. I just bleeping (ohmygodiamseeingredrightnow) cannot believe the complete selfish uneducated entitlement that this “writer” embodies.
Screw you lady. Stick a buttery gluten free cupcake you know where.
Great blog post GD, the next Tito’s and soda is on me. Make it a double.
Cheers!
Jersey Girl
Mmmm…Tito’s 🙂
Well said Gluten Dude and I was a hippie long before I was diagnosed with Celiac disease. I love the middle finger on the photo. Keep on Truckin!
I think you may be the first person who noticed that 😉
No, she isn’t. 🙂 lmao
nope, it’s what drew me into this conversation – which is now making me splutter and groan and sigh and shake my head…….
(I guess the silver lining is…. that my little kindergarden coeliacs children have more self control and disciple around food than most adults I know. )
Nope. I noticed just didn’t mention it. lol
I guess I will be the one dissenting voice here. I have a rare motility disorder for which there is no cure and very little treatment other than a drug that is not FDA approved (which I get through the compassionate use clause of the FDA) and a very very strict diet. I have an active social life and my friends are all foodies. I bring my own food, or I eat before I go. I HATE IT when people ask me about it at the table and do everything I can to NOT make an issue of my diet. I also have suspected Celiacs (according to the Celiac expert at Stanford University Medical Center) and carry the DQ8 gene, but have not had the gold-standard testing (small bowel biopsy) because I don’t want to go through the necessary 6 weeks of eating gluten beforehand.
There is a huge difference between a “food intolerance” (which frankly is a trendy thing right now) and a serious, life-threatening food allergy, which are actually pretty rare. My daughter attended gymnastics at a gym that also housed a preschool and there were signs everywhere asking that NO nuts ever be brought onto the premises because of a child with one of those severe nut allergies. That is perfectly acceptable.
My own daughter had a nut allergy as a child which resulted not in anaphylaxis, but internal bleeding, which was diagnosed by intestinal biopsy when she was 7 weeks old (nut antibodies from my diet passing through the breast milk). Since she was TINY she knew to not eat anything with nuts in it. Even at the age of three, if you put a candy bar in front of her she would not eat it until she checked with an adult. She went to many, many birthday parties and I never once asked anyone to accommodate her needs. She knew from a very early age how to pick and choose what she ate.
The fact is, you are not going to have your parents with you 24/7, and food is always going to be there. It has been a part of socialization since the beginning of mankind and is not going to go away. I don’t ask people to change their diet to accommodate mine, and in fact I dislike it when people make a big deal about providing me with something “special”. I would rather deal with my own stuff quietly and focus on what is really important- which is my friendships, socializing, etc. I don’t want to spend 20 minutes explaining to everyone WHY I can’t have the cheese enchiladas that everyone else is enjoying, I just want to eat my tupperware container full of white rice and plain chicken and talk politics, music, gossip, or whatever else the dinner topic is.
The truth is, those special events in school ARE important. They make the class a family, not just a bunch of kids stuck together for the day. I would not do away with those special events, just like I would not do away with art, music, and recess. All of those have a place in your child’s development.
The teachers at my daughter’s schools dealt with the party issue by having ONE party every month to honor those who had a birthday that month. Fifteen minutes at the end of the day. Parents did send cupcakes, etc., but there was ALWAYS other food- carrot sticks, hummus, grapes and cut fruit, cheese, and so forth. How your child handles not being able to eat a cupcake emotionally has a lot to do with how YOU as a parent approach it. In our family- it was matter-of-fact: if it has nuts, you can’t eat it, it will hurt you, end of story.
We’re all not the same Wendy. Your kids got it. Kudos. Could be the parenting. Could be in their genes. Who the hell knows. But I’ll say it once again…it’s all about risk-reward. What is the reward here? That the kids can get sugared up??
There are cupcakes and then there are CUPCAKES. Big difference between a small cupcake with a little bit of frosting and a huge cupcake covered with a mound of lard and sugar-based frosting. In truth the teachers asked for treats that were lower in sugar; no sodas or sugared drinks are allowed in the school, even at parties.
I guess the point I am trying to make and apparently missing is that maybe there is a middle-ground here, between the people who don’t give a rat’s behind about anyone else’s kids or issues they may have with diets, and people who think everyone should cater to their kid’s needs. If there was a child in the classroom who was allergic to sunshine (which does happen), does that mean no one else gets to have recess because that child might feel left out? Or as I said in a different post- a child with Type I diabetes who can’t have the same food as other kids at lunchtime? In this young man’s case- no one made a big deal about it and he simply did what he needed to do. My experience with kids is if they have something that makes them different, they don’t want a spotlight shining on it- they just want to do what they have to do and be accepted as normal, even if they can’t have that cookie or whatever.
‘Twas not Gluten Dude, but a woman (maybe Wendy) who said “There is a huge difference between a “food intolerance” (which frankly is a trendy thing right now) and a serious, life-threatening food allergy, which are actually pretty rare.”
REALLY?!
My mother, my husband and I are all what I call Celiac
Spectrum. Other people call it “gluten intolerant”, and like you, think it’s “different”.
When my mother eats gluten, she immediately get infections, and/or her blood clotting gets all messed up. Her last F’up (flourless bread, made with sprouted wheat) cost her a surgery for the infection in her elbow, a week in hospital, 2 months in a nursing home for recovery/rehab.
Because HER version of intolerance does not yet involve attacking her gut, hers is dermatitis herpetiformis, a blood clotting disorder, and impaired immune system. Arthritis, also.
My husband’s involves joint destruction, migraine, and heartburn. Even a small dose will give him headache for several days, heartburn and joint, body aches for a week.
Mine is less severe than either of them, but I’m younger.
So, thanks for weighing in with your opinion. I absolutely reject it, and call BS.
Dear Rachel
Firstly let me say this was not me who posted above. Perhaps someone who posted on my behalf, using my email adress and my name is not Rachel either. I have only just discovered this gluten dude site. I am well aware how serious this is and am doing some due diligence on reading up on it. In my case I was NOT diagnosed with coeliac disease. Perhaps mistakes can be made. Maybe this is a grey area. Maybe it could be that it is something similar. You have just attacked me for a post and rude and uncaring comment I did not make and the common ground is the misspelling of my own name,
Am I to be blamed for seeking to understand ? And for a post I never even made either, but I suppose you weren’t to know that. Incidentally I post with my full and correct name.
Hey, Rachelle,
First, no one attacked you, especially not me. I don’t even know where you came from.
Second, the internets are a huge place, really confusing. Maybe your library has a class?
The truth is, those special events in school ARE important. They make the class a family, not just a bunch of kids stuck together for the day. No Offence but I disagree with this statement- the kids are just kids stuck together for the day- for that class, for that year- Some they like and some they don’t. They are not a family any more than the people you work with are. They should not be made to pretend that the kid that called them a “doodie head” on the play ground is their family lol.. Their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are their family. I don’t know about you but I didn’t even like half the kids I went to school with much less want to hang with them. Most kids have a few friends in school and it changes from year to year. When you move to a new school.. you get new friends that you loose touch when your school days are over.. that is how it works. I personally don’t see the need for the parties and celebrations in a school setting. Getting candy at Halloween, or cake at everyone’s birthday in your class or being made to give out valentine’s has very little to with the learning process. it’s fun but not needed . They are there to learn.. With so many kids that graduate from high school that can barely read and write and schools that are shutting down because of budget cuts-parties should not even be a priority.. Give your kids their party at home. It doesn’t belong in the class room.
No offense taken- everyone’s experiences are different and that reflects in how we see things. In our case- my daughters attended a very small K-8 school with a total of 90 kids in the whole school. The kids they started kindergarten with (a class of 11 kids) graduated from 8th grade with them. We did not have the experience of different kids/different schools/different classrooms, and so the kids she was with daily for 9 years actually did become family. In that situation the kids become very, very close, much like siblings; like siblings they have to learn how to work out their differences instead of just hanging on until the end of the year when they could simply move on to another set of kids.
This is a public school, in case you’re wondering, not an expensive private school. They took most of the month of December every year to put on a whole-school play. Yes, they covered the basics in scholastics but the rest of the time was spent learning lines, making costumes, learning music, painting sets, learning technical skills, etc. In spite of all of the time “wasted” with this activity, the kids from this school tend to do better in high school than kids from other elementary/middle schools in the area, and have a higher rate of going to and being successful in college.
There were kids with special needs in this school, including a boy with Type I diabetes and his mom was the first one there with refreshments for everyone else (with something special for her son). And by the way- I AM in fact an old hippie, and live in an area with probably the highest per-capita hippies of anywhere on the planet, in an extremely diet-conscious (all organic and such), all-organic tree-hugging part of the Emerald Triangle.
I would never call time devoted to a school play wasted time. I think that’s a fantastic learning experience for all the kiddos. 🙂
I would, however, call throwing each and every child a birthday party wasted time.
Why is it no one has parties at home? I see crap like this and I think, yet another reason I homeschool.
I party at home…but I think that’s a different kind of partying.
I bet yours are more fun than anything this woman could come up with..
Nice Work! I wrote a reply on her post, no reply. I also tweeted to her that her attitude wasn’t a way to teach compassion. That I no longer wonder why our society is so self-centered. I received no response from her…quite possibly she might be eating cake. ; )
Good one 🙂
“let them eat gluteny cake!”…..now all I can think of is Marie Antoinette….
Awesome Gluten Dude!
I read the article by… whoever she is. Tried to read the comments below but I couldn’t. My blood pressure skyrocketed and I’m livid. Thank you for bringing this article to our attention. What.an.idot.
I’m divided on this. On one hand why should a child who has special needs trump other childrens happiness and rights? On the other hand I can see the point of watching out for the child or children with the problem.
Bottom line is “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one” The rest of the class or children should not be punished because one child is different. Democracy in action.
I’m sorry…but since when is a birthday cake AT SCHOOL a right? And the child isn’t “different”. The child suffers from a health issue.
It isn’t a right. But I honestly see no harm in letting there be at least a bit of fun in school. Learning how to get along in a social situation is just as important as learning algebra in terms of success later on in life. Why do companies have team-building workshops, retreats, etc. if not to build those social relationships that result in better productivity, etc. “All work and no play” etc. My daughters both grew up to become successful adults in spite of taking time out to have a little school party every once in a while. One works for a major corporation and in fact just planned a corporate event (ie: party). The other one is a Vet Tech, had a birthday two weeks ago, and the doctors (vets) who own the practice had lunch and a cake brought in. It’s a very busy practice and frankly she didn’t even have time to take an actual lunch break, let alone have a party, but at least the sentiment was there.
I just don’t understand why school absolutely has to be a “no fun” zone. If kids are working hard, studying, and doing well, why not let them have 15 minutes of fun? If they aren’t, then that is a whole different topic.
I am all for balance and learning to be social will get you just as far in this world than learning how to do long division.
But the “fun” doesn’t need to be focused around food. There are lots of other ways to do it.
You’re right, it doesn’t need to be focused around food, but it is. That is a fact. Virtually every social situation revolves around food, no matter what culture or what part of the world you are from. Believe me, my own life would be so much easier if it weren’t. My food restrictions are pretty extreme. I don’t have a choice about my diet; I accept that many of the people I know don’t understand my issues (as my own local GI doctor doesn’t – I see a sub-specialist at a major university for treatment). I don’t want to explain it and watch their eyes glaze over. I don’t want to hear their suggestions on how I might take some supplement their aunt took that cured her, and I don’t want to see their eyes roll up into their heads as they think “Oh, one of THOSE….” I would love to not have to deal with the diet issues every single time I get together with friends, but the fact is, food is ALWAYS a part of it. And what I have found is, MY attitude towards my diet affects their attitude. I’m pretty good at changing the subject, etc. if the group starts to focus on what I’m eating or why, or just flat-out saying, “You know, I’d really rather not get into it right now- if you’re really interested call me and I’ll tell you about it”. If I avoided every social setting that involved food- I would never leave the house.
Yes, food is a huge part of life- No one is denying that .We all have to learn to deal with it. As adults having to deal with it in social settings and feeling out of place and having to explain things to people is not that same as child with food allergies being bombarded with it on a daily basis at school in front of their class mates .It is just one more place parents of kids with food allergies have to worry about their kids being safe. One more place these kids have to settle for what they can have, like fruit ,while other kids are eating cake or are made feel different because everyone in their class and their parents has to be made aware of their food allergies. For one It is too risky with the different food allergies out there and it is just not needed. The point everyone is trying to make is, not that kids should not be allowed to have fun in school- The point is food does not need to be in the classroom to accomplish that… Many of us think food should not be part of the classroom at all… period. That is what the cafeteria, their homes and restaurants are for. There will be plenty of social occasions in life that children can learn to adapt to their special diets.. and they do, everyday at lunch time, holidays. when they go out to eat, birthday parties and social settings away from school. Why does it have to be rubbed in their faces every other week at a special party or when a parent wants to bring in snacks- because someone feels their kid has the right to a birthday party AT SCHOOL or that they must have snacks before they get home. It is not necessary. It causes problems and issues and is more of a distraction than anything to the learning process- If there was a no food allowed in class policy I doubt anyone would really suffer or their social development be stunted from the lack of food in class.
“child with food allergies being bombarded with it on a daily basis at school in front of their class mates “. Okay, what I said was that the teachers at my daughters’ school took ONE DAY A MONTH to celebrate that month’s birthdays, for fifteen minutes at the end of the day. Not “bombarding them on a daily basis”.
To be honest with you, I feel like I am getting beat up here because I simply, honestly, and politely tried to present a different point of view that is somewhere between the two sides.
Really? you must be pulling our collective legs here.
You really want to apply this
“the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one”
to the issue of the right to birthday cupcakes in school?
because birthday cupcakes in school are a societal NEED?
wow.
This liberal hippie needs a drink….:)
I discovered in Aug 2013 that what has been making me horribly sick for the past 9 years is gluten. Gluten causes me nausea, diahrea, stomach aches, bloating, migraines, foggy brain, inability to concentrate and focus, weakness, tiredness, body aches, severe anxiety, and major depression. As long as I’m away from gluten, it all goes away. I’ve even been told that as sensitive as I am, I may even have celiac (going to the Dr soon to check on this). I’ve gotten sick from tiny crumbs left on a counter after someone else made a sandwich.
It’s unnerving at how family members are so uncareful about gluten contaminating my food because they aren’t careful and/or don’t want to be inconvenienced. They see what it does to me and how sick it makes me, but I don’t think they know how it truly impacts me. The other thing that bugs me is when people give me stuff that may or may not contain gluten and they look at me crazy or act like their feelings are hurt when I tell them I cannot have it. It amazes me how people that are hardly sick or never been sick have such little compassion and understanding for those that have some type of disease or illness.
“To a certain extent, I get it.” gee, only a girl died for you to somewhat get it! This is the most selfish article. You’re bitching about your child not being able to eat cake, well at least your child can eat cake and doesn’t have to worry about getting sick. Be lucky you are not the mother of a child with allergies who has to READ EVERY LABEL, give specific instructions everywhere her child goes, makes special preparations and lunches and snacks and EVERYTHING that has to do with food. Explain to your small child why they aren’t allowed to eat what everyone else does and then deal with the consequences when they do. I am sure those mothers are just overjoyed with all this extra work they need to do to keep their child safe.
Maybe you should use your energy in a more beneficial way and take it up with the American food system who has been feeding processed sugary food to our children at every corner. It was bound to catch up with us and it finally did, this is the result: allergies, obesity, cancer, autoimmune diseases are higher today then ever in history. Why don’t you write a story about that instead of about the mothers who have enough on their plate to deal with and not this whiney, oh poor me and my non sick child, article!
[round of applause]
I am an teacher and I believe that the birthday parties should be at home. I adore all my students and I make a point to wish them a happy birthday, but my time with them is already short enough. Classrooms are constantly disrupted as it is. Send out the party invitations and have the party after school at home! Plus, my students eat an insane amount of junk food (including buttery, gluten-filled cake) already. They won’t miss it. I want all of my students to feel special, but too much “special” does give children a sense of entitlement. If parents feel that is unfair, then they can hold a week-long, cake-filled celebration at home to make up for the loss of a party at school. That is their right as loving parents.
And that my friends is the sound of common sense.
My post proves that teachers need to proof read their work too! “I am an a teacher…” Whoops! 🙂
Amen, dude. I don’t have a wheat allergy to contend with, but DS has severe allergies to dairy and peanuts. I could spend all day every day just trying to correct for misconceptions about what an allergy *is.* Things I’ve actually said: No, lactose intolerance is not a food allergy. No, he won’t just get a runny nose and sneeze a lot. No, I don’t care that you read Wheat Belly and a 1.99 book on Kindle about how 98% of all food allergies are reversible; going gluten free isn’t going to allow him to eat ice cream.
Having to also deal with the inconvenienced parents who can’t weigh their kid’s desire to eat PB&J against the risk of sending someone else’s kid home in a body bag? Argh.
I wouldn’t be sorry to see school food parties go the way of the dodo. DS came home after V-day with a sack full of dollar-store knockoff candy that the other kids were handing out (which, knowing what I know about where most of the Dollar Store stuff comes from, this gives me the heebie jeebies, and not for any allergy reasons).
I wonder why nobody can figure out why our bodies are starting to treat food like its a foreign invader… 😛
Great response, Gluten Dude! I am an adult with Celiac and reading that woman’s article infuriated me because I am also a first grade teacher and I feel she is taking out her entitled attitude on innocent young children.
From a teacher’s perspective, I can tell you that I don’t know of any teacher or school who supports having the store bought neon cupcake parties. They completely overload kids with sugar and any focus on learning is completely lost. Our school district has wellness policies which have really encouraged limiting unhealthy parties. Our school sent a parent letter home several years ago saying we were now going to encourage healthy birthday parties. The child/parents could choose (and let the teacher know ahead of time) if they would like to bring small non-food prizes for the class, have an extra 10 minute recess at the end of the day (to support our wellness goal of increased physical activity) or bring a healthy snack such as fruit, popcorn, cheese sticks, etc. Not a single parent or child complained about the change. Most kids chose the extra recess and many chose fruit parties. Either way, it was a special treat for the entire class. It’s not that hard to find creative ways to celebrate life which do not have to focus on sugar. Too bad that the woman who wrote that blog is so narrow minded that she can’t see beyond her obsession with cake.
“Our school district has wellness policies”
hooray!!! Thanks for chiming in here, Christine!
When my youngest was diagnosed Celiac I talked with all her teachers and stored a small box in her classroom chock full of goodies for her to eat during birthday treat time. We didn’t inconvenience anybody.
For birthday parties at friends houses she brought her own cake and enjoyed the ice cream. Mostly though, we’ve taught her to enjoy the parties for the people, not the food.
If you have a birthday party at your home,I can decide to come or not.
If you decide to have the SCHOOL throw your kids party, my child does not get the option of not attending. Bringing a “separate” snack? Separate but equal? Sounds familiar…that was illegal correct?
If it is such a pain for your kid’s one day of the year to not have a cupcake AT school, imagine what it is like for us 20x’s a year?
I’m sorry for this mom, she feels her kids don’t have a good birthday unless she receives validation for bringing food and hearing how great they were. Apparently the cake at home and/or the party isn’t enough.
No one is saying the bday kid can’t have his cake, no one is saying they can’t bring in their own snacks, no one is trying to take away their right to eat whatever their parents packed for them. But I find it disgusting that parents presume the right to feed the class whatever the hell they want, without any restriction.
Public school, group setting, class activity/party=ALL KIDS INCLUDED. PERIOD. END OF STORY.
You want to give away a butt load of crap? Print the invites, hand them out and do it on your own time.
I’ve been on both sides of this issue. When my kids were young (and decades before I was diagnosed with Celiac) I remember being mildly and briefly annoyed when parents were told not to send anything containing peanuts to school, including the beloved PB&J. But once I became better educated about the potential problems it was really no big deal.
Since being diagnosed about a year ago, I am often infuriated with the public’s ignorance about gluten and Celiac. Regarding school parties, I also agree that they are an unnecessary annoyance, and if held at all, they should be no more than once a month. I agree that very young children can suffer emotionally by being left out of any part of the celebration, and the only foods allowed should be safe for all children. But once kids reach the 3rd grade or so, they should be old enough to begin to learn the realities of their situation, including “Thanks, but I can’t eat that” and “what’s in that?”
I went all through school and finished in the 70’s. Not one single soul in my entire school had a food allergy. When I was teaching in the 80’s I began seeing at least one student each year with a severe food allergy. Several others with autoimmune diseases. Fast forward to today. In my immediate family we have two Celiacs, one allergy to pomegranates, one allergy to kiwi, one latex allergy, two peanut allergies, one dairy allergy, and one with an allergy to all tree nuts. In addition, my husband is allergic to something that he has eaten twice and we never figured out what it is. His reactions were so severe we landed in the ER both times and have to keep an epipen with us. My newest grandbaby (4 months old) was at the urgent care today with his little face covered in welts and his little eyes swollen shut. Whatever caused this is not yet determined. This used to not be heard of. What has happened to switch these allergies/intolerances/autoimmune diseases on?
I point this out to the writer of this article who hates for her child to be inconvenienced. Her time on the “safe” side of food consumption is a ticking time bomb. Odds are becoming more likely that someone in her family will eventually be joining the ranks of one who can’t eat the cupcake, or the peanuts, or fill-in-the-blank. More autoimmune diseases and severe allergies are cropping up each year to the point where it is becoming the norm in families to have at least someone with a severe allergy or intolerance to some form of food. This should terrify her and make her rant to medical institutions to figure out WHY this is happening before her child falls victim. Instead she is ranting because she wasn’t able to arrive to school with the darling cupcakes she saw on Pinterest.
What is happening now is an epidemic. If you’re lucky enough not to be affected by it, for the love of God get on the wagon to push the medical communities to find out why this is happening before your luck runs out.
Sorry for the long rant. I just saw this and my bedtime was about two hours ago.:) I hope it made a little bit of sense.
Something different has happened to us as a society and it is still happening. For the health of our future generations we should be demanding research to find out why.
Great Post. It is becoming an epidemic and at an alarming rate especially the rate ate which autoimmune diseases are becoming the norm.. we are in serious trouble and need to find out why. I personally think it started when people started messing with our food – Genetically altering it. Processing and manipulating it. Instead of eating it in it’s natural God given state.As far as food allergies- I think they have been around for a long time- I would say for a good 50 years. Only no one knew anything about them or the major problems they cause in the body. I remember as a kid always being sick-70’s and 80’s. I always had a cold or sinus infections. Constant mucus and drainage- I use to get up every morning feeling sick to my stomach and usually threw up before I went to school. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I finally put two and two together that when I had milk I would spend the next two days sneezing, watery eyes, scratchy throat. I realized ” oh wow.. I am allergic to milk. Duh!!! That makes so much sense because I drank at least 3 to 4 glasses of it everyday as a child”- No wonder I was sick ALL the time. Our Middle son had horrible eczema as a baby- we tried every cream and treatment the doctors to’d us to use- we took him to many doctors.Nothing worked and he always had a runny nose.I wasn’t until he was two and my husband and I said there has to be something causing this. We took him in for allergy testing and found out he was allergic to corn. When we illuminated corn from his diet the eczema and the running nose magically disappeared. Not one doctor suggested it might be something he was ingesting. I think that is part of the problem. Doctors are not trained to look at the cause , only to treat the Symptoms. They don’t study about nutrition or the connection to what we eat and disease.
OOPS – that should be “eliminated” not “illuminated” lol.. Early morning brain and not enough caffeine
i commented on their post…. someone removed it. it had no profanities or anything like that. i dont know why it was removed,any ideas?
Dude, isn’t it scary that in a world of privilege with so many ways to celebrate birthdays and high holidays all we can think to do is stuff our kids full of gross foods. These kids are already eating so much poison that the mind boggles. And the fact that the lady is baking her own cakes sort of neutralizes the sugar? And I would bet a whole lot on that home made bomb not being the only sugar her allergy-less (yet) little selfish- because- she- is kids are eating.
As for teachers requesting special foods: why don’t all these loving parents help teachers to teach our kids that emotions(glad that you were born) can be expressed without eating dangerous foods (keeping you alive and well for as long as possible) . That might prevent a whole lot of eating disorders as a large side effect too!
I’ve read all of the comments here and on the Huffington Post article. There only seem to be a few posters who just don’t get it and don’t care.
Having Celiac disease as an adult is trying enough, I cannot imagine having this as a child or being the parent of a child who has to deal with parents, teachers and students who are so cold-hearted and clueless.
When I was in school we could eat whatever we wanted, I’d literally never heard of anyone having any kind of “allergy” or autoimmune disease. But, times have changed, and parents, teachers and schools need to change along with it.
Children need to be protected at school and kept safe, because a school is a place to “learn” and grow. Teaching empathy is a very good lesson for the rest of their lives. Keeping them safe is imperative for the rest of their lives. The woman who wrote this article is self-centered and cruel. I feel desperately sad for her children.
Eventually real awareness and understanding of Celiac disease and other food intolerances will happen. It’s happening (very) slowly, and in time I won’t have to explain my disease in detail to my waiter anymore. With Celiac and other intolerances on the rise, its only a matter of time. Here’s another article on what parents go through.
http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2014/02/11/with-one-child-food-allergy-restricting-another-allergy-moms-say-they-face-skepticism/Hi9h2AGwDyCzAB0NsCRX9O/comments.html
With all the hippie references in the discussion of this post and with media fails being a recurring theme of this blog, I’d like to share the following from a TV sitcom I saw last night (apologies if this particular media fail has already been discussed to death on here).
I forget the name of the show (cablebox info said it was from 2011, I recall that much) but the two actors in it who I recognised were David Spade and the Puddy guy from Seinfeld. The plot centres around a third character having his somewhat old-fashioned girlfriend meet his mother for the first time.
Now we all know that fiction thrives on conflict, so of course the script quickly establishes the mother as a flaky 1960s flower child who, along with other quirky/eccentric behaviours, boasts of having been at Woodstock and has no qualms about wandering around naked in front of her son (who grew up accustomed to maternal nudity) and his girlfriend, who is quite aghast with all of this.
In a later scene the girlfriend is seen telling her friend about what a pain this woman is: “I can’t stand this about her, I can’t stand that about her,” and on and on it goes. Then to finish off this rap sheet — and I think you can all see where this is going since I otherwise wouldn’t even be here talking about it in the first place — she throws in this final annoyance: “Everything she eats has to be gluten-free! Argh! I don’t even know what gluten is, but I know I LOVE it!”
So there you have it. Similar to how an establishing shot of the Eiffel Tower signifies, “Hey, everyone — this scene is set in *Paris*,” our disease, as if we didn’t already know, is Hollywood shorthand for flakiness, petty nonconformism and overall nuisance-making in general. Why, I bet it’s even listed on the tvtropes.org site. At any rate, I have a feeling that Little Miss Let-Them-Eat-Cake probably watches a lot of television.
You absolutely knocked it out of the park. I can’t stand the whole birthday party in the classroom bit either, but if we must here’s an idea – why not just have some fruit and call it a day? Or pass out cool stickers or temporary tattoos or let them play a game together outside in the sunshine (now THERE’S a novel thought).
There are so many things in this world to keep our kiddos safe from. I imagine it can be overwhelming for some at times. I am all for accomodating for people with life threatening food allergies. I myself have food allergies and I appreciate when this is done for me. However, just as parents with non-allergic kiddos can use this as a teaching point for empathy, parents of allergic/intolerant/celiac kiddos can do the same. If there is mutual empathy then maybe the kiddos will appreciate and respect these differences and come up with their own compromise.
I enjoyed reading this. I’m tired of ignorant people who bash what they don’t understand. Her kid probably doesn’t want the cake as much as she thinks he ‘deserves’ to have it…
If you single out a child and tell the rest of the class that they can’t have treats because this particular child can’t have them then that child will be ostracized and picked on for denying this children sweets. In a perfect world then every child would be kind and understanding but anyone who went through school or have children who go to school, that isn’t reality. My child was allergic to anything with red dye in it and to single her out wouldn’t have made me very understanding of real life and the social problems that children face every day. Yes the child who is having the birthday could have whatever cake they would like when they get home but on the other hand, the child who has allergies can have whatever treat they would like when they get home. It would probably be better for the allergic child to avoid treats at school and be indulged by their parents when they get home. Don’t force your child to single themselves out in front of their school mates, that would be cruel.
I am bringing mini cupcakes into preschool for my daughters fourth birthday. Some are gluten free, nut free vanilla and some are gluten free, nut free chocolate. All of them are delicious. I asked if any of the kids were allergic to chocolate or dairy and they are not. I do this because I love all these kids and I want them to be happy. I want share a treat with them on my daughter birthday because they celebrate the kids birthdays at her school. When she goes into public school I won’t do this with food. Maybe with some kind of gift if the school does birthday celebrations, but there’s just to many ways to single kids out with diatary restrictions. I’m diabetic. I know all about being the kid who can’t have the cupcake. I decided to do it once for my child and to be really considerate of every other child because thats the kind of person I want my daughter to be. I want her to think about the kids who can’t have cupcakes and know that cupcakes aren’t that important anyway. Thank you for you post. People forget that other people matter just as much as they do.
When I was in school, there were nut allergies. Everything had to be peanut free.
I can kind of understand where the woman is coming from, because it is a pain going to the grocery store to find gluten free nut free egg free “snack” (read: junk!!!!!) foods for lunches. But hello, has she ever heard of grapes? Blueberries? Apples? Oranges? Whatever happened to those in lunches??? They are very healthy and are certainly free of allergens.
And Why would she be serving her children buttery, chocolatey, gluten filled cake anyway? Is that a daily habit?
Do all kids get birthday parties in class now????? Because I guess I was missing out on that stuff. When I was in school, if a kid had an allergy or several, all accommodations were made to ensure that child was safe. Regardless of who’s birthday it was!!! This shouldn’t change because children havr more allergies. They should offer gluten free lunch options.
I applaud you for supporting your child, any condition is difficult to live with but is even worse when its a small child. A child’s health comes before birthday cake in class!!
Actually, all of those fruits can be allergens. I am highly allergic to oranges since I was a child. I just didn’t eat the things I was allergic to. Simple as that.
I agree with everything except this: ” But if the teachers are insistent on having a food party …” As a teacher I loathe the food party. The best party was when the mom came in with bottles of bubble mix from dollar store and kids ran outside blowing bubbles – Fifth grade kids! Save the cake for at home. We don’t want the sugar high or the aftermath when the rush wears off!
thank you for writing this. im so with you on this one.
I have been in the food service industry for a long time, and I have noticed two things, food fads come and go, and an awareness of food allergens has greatly increased. I have been fortunate enough to work somewhere that treats a guests food allergy with the seriousness it deserves. I always find it interesting when a person confuses their decision not to eat something with their inability not to eat something. A gluten free fad seem on the rise, which has the wonderful benefit of forcing the market to provide more gluten free options for those who are unable to eat gluten. I think the mother in question here has confused the choice not to do so with the inability to do so.
If you come into my establishment and tell me you are allergic to something, I will take the needed steps to ensure your safety, including telling you that I can’t serve that item to you because I cannot ensure it meets your dietary requirements. The parent cooking a home does not have the expertise or equipment to ensure the safety of those children. Only the parent of that child or the school with equipment, and liability schools be providing food to children.
Two things could happen when others provide food for children at school, a child could get sick or die, and resources that should be used toward education must not be diverted to legal issues. Why would any parent want to take that risk for a cupcake. Heck, I married a baker and she never sends baked goods to school with our children to share, it is just plain foolish.
I work a couple nights a week at a locally owned restaurant. A couple months ago they added a few gluten free pastas to the menu, they are pretty similar both being pesto based pasta sauces and served wit vegetables.. One with penne noodles served with chicken the other with spaghetti no chicken. I recently offered up suggestions on different kind of pastas they could do being the only celiac that works there, but anytime I try to mention adding something new my ideas always get shot down quicker than the can escape my mouth. One of the main reasons being that about 90% of the people that have ordered the gluten free pastas are upset when they are not served with garlic toast. Excuse me? This surprises you? When you inform them that adding garlic toast no longer makes it gluten free the reaction is “I’m not ordering it because it’s gluten free” I know there are lots of posts about people making it so restaurants don’t take us seriously.. but I didn’t realize how bad it really could be. I got in an argument with one of the cooks last night, who had the audacity to tell me that in 5 years the “gluten allergy” won’t exist and people will be allergic to something else.. Maybe so for the people that hop on the fad diet.. but not for us who actually cannot eat that way. We truly appreciate a kitchen that cares and going out to a restaurant and seeing choices. And to suggest that if I eat it I am only going to feel uncomfortable, not actually sick, pissed me right off. You don’t know how my body reacts when it’s attacking itself.
My son is 4 and he has been diagnosed since 18 months. He has severe reactions when he is contaminated so we definitely don’t eat out any where. And I am always extremely careful when we are at family gatherings where gluten is present. I have been accused by family and family friends of being over protective and making my son afraid of eating things he shouldn’t. But he should be… it makes him very ill and he needs to understand that. Now being 4 I believe he has the skills to make decisions when I am not around. He will always ask if it is gluten-free. He is in daycare right now, and I pack his lunch every day. If they are ever planning a treat day I will make him a special cupcake to take so he can enjoy for the rest of the kids. I am nervous for when he starts school next year. But I guess I will just see what happens, and know that I can always come here to rant if I need to.
Hi Gluten Dude,
I don’t have any dogs in this fight, but I’m curious about one thing which I think you should have addressed in your post above. Leaving aside the birthday party issue, how is your child fed in school on a day to day basis? Do you provide the food, or is it prepared specifically for your child by the school, or is everyone in the school provided with food to negate any and all noted allergic / intolerant conditions?
My almost 10 year old son came home yesterday from school and said to me “Guess what? For Oscar’s birthday today, his mom brought in gluten-free cupcakes for everyone. And they were awesome.” My son, who has learned to go with the flow about many things, was clearly touched (as was I). It would be so nice if more people embraced it rather than made snide remarks.
Right On, Dude!
I really liked the one about the egg whites the lady is allergic to… Her position is actually, if you think it through, somewhat bizarre.
There’s supposed to be a reason that adults are in charge of the world. She might do well to think about that…?
I agree wholeheartedly with your thought on the matter, Dude.
Al
Two words for you, THANK YOU, form Sophia’s mom.
A 7 year YOUNG who was recently diagnosed with CD.
Inconvenience is the right word for every single experience we have outside our home, especially at Restaurants and Hotels. Really? Do we have to explain ourselves in such detail to people who look at us like: You are so high maintenance. We, the most easy going family when it comes to food.
If only our daughter didn’t have to hear us BEG the waiter/waitress to understand the importance of communicating with the chef and making sure there’s NO CROSS-CONTAMINATION. So hard for people to understand. So hard for our daughter to have to witness this.
At school, we have an amazing teacher AND room moms whom are aware of this and make sure every time there’s a special event to have GF snacks, ice creams and toppings. Thank God for them.
Thank you again for your constant effort to make this world understand.
Bea
I understand the party thing. But we have one child in grade one in our child’s school that is allergic to milk. So the other 249 students aren’t allowed to bring any dairy products to school including pudding and milk for lunch. The kids don’t eat together at lunch there’s no common room for eating lunch. Doesn’t it make more sense to have the child who is allergic to milk sit and eat their lunch in the office and keep the office milk free? Where does it end? I respect all allergies but compromise and sensibility seems to have gone out the door in place of liability.
I get what you’re saying. But what if you’re that child?
I honestly would want to have a compromise that didn’t affect 249 other families. Our school is so frightened of a lawsuit that they’ve just eliminated it all together. Compromise seems to have been completely lost in this world of ours. Everything seems to be adversarial. Sad really. Doesn’t teach the kids anything either.
I couldn’t comment on the original huffington post article, but this led me to articles written by understanding people like you so I was much happier 🙂
I was the child with allergies at school, this was 15+ years ago, in my case primarily with coeliac disease. Allergies were much less common; as a result I was left out of food activities. I’m not aware parents were told then. Some teachers were great and allowed me the first pick of birthday sweets, others not so much – I wouldn’t get anything.
I remember at 7yo being left out of a bread making activity, I’m coeliac as long as I didn’t eat any I would have been fine! AND I was better at pointing out my allergies than what the teaching staff knew! I couldn’t have strawberries, yet they’d try to feed me strawberry milkshake. Fortunately I spoke up! Some parents were accommodating for play date dinner, but I don’t remember many – I wonder if this was a result?
I often was singled out taking a lunch box to parties. Secondary school meant trips away were difficult especially in France they did not understand allergies, instead of an alternative I was given nothing and when possible not even a choice. Just because I had allergies didn’t mean I had to like everything else… fish namely!
I think it’s great that schools are accommodating now, especially with rising rates of diabetes both T1 and T2 (I’m also T1 diabetic which came later in life). Food should not be seen as a celebratory treat or reward, have a sing and dance instead 🙂
I completely agree about the practice of bringing cake and other junk to school to celebrate a child’s birthday as archaic, unhealthy, and not necessary at all. And I have adjusted fine to the fact that because of food intolerances and allergies, that no food can be brought on Halloween, Valentine’s Day, a Thanksgiving celebration or even a holiday party. Got it, no big deal. There are other ways to celebrate. But this Thursday our school is hosting a “Health Fair” for 5th and 6th graders. Kids will be planting and harvesting in the school garden along with enjoying healthy snacks such as carrots and hummus, pretzels, water, hard boiled eggs, celery and (yes!) peanut butter, and fruit salad. There are only 3 of us parents on the committee, although we’ve asked for help, and wouldn’t you know we’ve had angry parents regarding our snack choices. No peanut butter for nut free kids, no eggs for vegans, no pretzels for gluten free people, baby carrots have chemicals and no strawberries just in case. Are you kidding me! This has gone way too far. At what point do 10 and 11 years olds need to learn and be able to manage what they can and cannot eat? We should be serving all the needs of a diverse student population, not only a few. Reverse discrimination? My kid can eat eggs, nuts and strawberries as a healthy snack but he won’t be learning about that if it’s not there. And my niece, who is allergic to nuts, won’t grab the individually wrapped packet of peanut butter because she’s very educated on what she can and can’t have. She’ll go with the many other options. Can’t we teach kids that there are a variety of healthy foods which are good for some and not good at all, or even deadly, for others. Adults know this, right? Learning about food intolerances and special diets helps us understand each other, value each other, and promotes tolerance.
My son has a Gluten allergy. I think this lady is a selfish ignorant jerk. Having said that, I’m reluctantly fine with other parents bringing in whatever the hell they want for their kids or the class. I just ask that when they do, they warn us before hand. That way we can bring in a gluten free version for our kids. Because lets face it they are going to bring something no matter what we say because most other parents I have met at this school are all self entitled.
What urks me is that the teacher of my son’s class won’t put out a note to try and bring in gluten free snacks if they can. They have snack time everyday and it’s always a different class kid’s( really their parent since this is Kindergarten) job to bring in snacks. The teacher will put out a note for the kids with nut allergies because theirs is life threatening and she doesn’t see gluten as a “real allergy” regardless of what I say. It’s not life threatening so it’s not a real allergy?
As a result I pack my son his own snack and lunch everyday then still have to provide one for the entire class on his snack day once a month. Yeah that’s fair.
I hadn’t seen this before, but wow, what a whiner! I’m a teacher and most of us would love to do away with parties altogether. Unfortunately, parents often ambush us without warning. Just what I need, to be in the middle of a lesson and get a call that someone’s mommy is here with cupcakes and it’s okay to come back, right? This year, one of my students was diagnosed with Celiac. He certainly is in the right classroom.
If you read the comments under the article, I’d say we have plenty of people who support us on this issue.
“My kid can’t have a birthday because birthdays mean that everyone has to celebrate it with the food of my choosing whether they like it or not.” Pretty sure THAT was her point. 🙂
hahaha what an idiot, people just love to dumb themselves down… in many ways… uhg whatever… would be funny if she’s diagnosed with CD one day, maybe then she’d finally understand 😐
I know this is an old post but “what a cow!!!”. So how would she feel if her kid had the same allergy as her and stuffed its face with a big slice of buttery, gluten-laden, egg white enriched cake…and got sick?!?! Arrgghhh that article made me mad that so many people just don’t get it!
Okay, I have vented!!
Karen
Australia
I’ve had severe food allergies since I was a kid to many fruits (about 12 things) that pop up in all kinds of foods, from cakes to very healthy fruit platters and such. I still have these allergies and I hear something very different in this.
I worry these kids aren’t learning to deal with their allergy but instead are expecting everyone to fix it for them and not learn how to cope. For instance, I am allergic to oranges. If someone opens an orange on a plane, I put on my mask I always travel with. Done, no problem. In group situations as a child I just skipped whatever food was offered to me. Most people and their parents I grew up with had no idea I had a problem. I would just check it out and skip it if I didn’t think I could eat it. My best friend growing up was deathly allergic to peanuts. Same thing, almost no one knew there was an issue.
I never felt left out, I was never picked on and I never had an issue in school. I was taught this wasn’t a disability or anyone’s business but my own. There are other ways to join in a party other than eating and learning that skill at a young age is a valuable thing.
When it turned out my friend’s young son had Celiac’s disease, they asked me how I dealt with that kind of stuff as a kid and I helped them work out ways to help Conner not stick out in school. If there is a group celebration, he gets a cup of something to drink and says the cake looks great but he doesn’t want any. He offers to help pass it out or do something to keep himself busy. He’s 6 and he’s a pro at it. He knows it makes him sick and he wants no part of it. His teacher knows about his issue but nothing has been said to the parents and none of the kids have even caught on that he never eats group snacks, that he always has his own.
It is 100% possible to successful find coping skills for your kids. I’ve managed my own allergies since I was 11 and unknowingly ate a piece of orange chicken and gave myself a shot and announced to my parents, covered in hives, we needed to go to the ER. I encourage all parents with kids with food issues to make those kids masters of their own food domain as soon as they can read. I’ve seen it go the other way as well. I had a co-worker huff out of sushi restaurant because he was allergic to shellfish and couldn’t safely eat anything and demanded they do something to serve him and they refused, not wanting to kill him! Well, sorry to be crass but no shit. I’m sure you don’t go to standard bakeries without doing a little checking to see what their gluten free options are and I don’t walk into Orange Julius and ask for samples.
My allergies are my inconvenience. I have never and nor will I ever make them anyone else’s but mine.
(So I was looking for something I feel strongly about to get me riled up for my long night of homework, and you have provided just that!) Not only does someone “just die” from whatever they maybe allergic to, they endure hours of torture, including their throat closing in on them, their lips/tongue swelling, hives, etc. IF you don’t die, you probably wish you would because you keep reacting, as a doctor bluntly put it: “It either gets out of your system, or you die.”, and until it’s gone, you keep reacting. I’ve been hospitalized for a week and a half. Sure, I’m perfectly fine being around eggs, but the very presence of a tree nut (don’t get me started on explain the difference between a TREE NUT and a PEANUT.) makes my eyes water and start to itch, and if I happen to ingest the smallest particle, I’ll go into anaphylactic shock. So yeah, its kinda important. I also have a severe anxiety disorder derived from my allergies. Just on Sunday I had a severe panic attack (chills, uncontrollable shaking, chest pain, back pain, stomach pain, and a headache) all from my distrust of a restaurant employee who said there were no nuts in their facility when it clearly stated on the menu that a dish contained walnuts.
Yeah, I feel ya! I am one of those people too! Peel an orange near me and that oil hits the air and then my lungs and then I’m sick for a week but you learn to deal, you have to and that was my point. If you don’t learn young to control it, it will control you! I spent 2 days in the hospital this year after a friend fed me carrots with a tiny amount of orange peel in it and I lost my airway and kept having bounce back reactions. Everyone around me panicked and I was the one that stayed calm. It was 100% my fault, I should have pressed more, I just never suspected it. It happens, you just have to deal with it, remain calm, react and move on. If you are a student, check and see if your health center has therapy center. They might be able to help you with the anxiety. It’s helped me tremendously over the years. I’m not making a joke of it, us allergy gals got to stick together. Try it out, it helps, really! You’ll find your way! Best of luck!
Out of curiosity, have you ever gone into anaphylactic shock? It does suck, and I’ve learned to deal, this being among the many disabilities I have (ADD, misophonia, possible EDS, hypermobilty, giftedness, anxeity disorder, etc.). I’m also only 14. It does suck, and sometimes I just want to make it all end. I belive I’ve had an anaphylactic reaction 5 times, if my memory serves me correctly…
I’ve gone into anaphylactic shock more times than I care to count. Maybe 20? I’ve had to stay overnight (or longer) 4 times. The oranges and pineapple will put me into shock fast, others “just” give me hives and swelling and lots of time to take benedryl and make my way over to urgent care for a couple shots and weeks worth of steroids to hold back the bounce back reactions. Anaphylactic shot is what sent me to the hospital this Thanksgiving (2 days in the hospital on thanksgiving was not fun!) I’m 36, my allergies went from hives and swelling and slow lose of airway to hardcore shock reactions at your age. I hoped I would grow out of them, I didn’t.
My resume reads like yours, high IQ, high anxiety. It’s more terrifying because you know, in detail, how bad it can get, I’ve been there. Work at it and I promise, it gets better. For me, I started carrying a small toy of some kind with me everywhere when I was not much other than you. Like a key chain size or something you get out of a gum ball machine and I would constantly roll it around in my hand when I started to get a little panicked. I STILL do it. My desk is littered with toys. A therapist can help you find that “something” that helps bring you back down. I started after falling very ill (not allergy related) and almost dying at about your age and I still go and “check in about 3 times a year with a therapist to make sure I’m on the track I want to be.
It sounds silly and counter-intitive but I have found, if you can make jokes about it, people around you take you more seriously. I haven’t had a reaction in a restaurant in 14 years and I think it’s because since then, I carry a little slip with my allergies on it, in English/Spanish/Mandarin (I love chinese food and have a friend who speaks it, so the Mandarin is a new addition) Then I usually make a little joke like “All this stuff will kill me and I really like it here and don’t want to die in your restaurant” all with a smile. If I’m going out with a group, I call ahead or corner the manager when I get there to see what’s what. My friends will usually chime in with tales of them nearly killing me, taking me to the doctor after poisoning myself, etc. If you are kind and fun but FIRM with them that it won’t just make you sick, it will make you dead, they get it and you can still have all kinds of fun out there.
While my friends joke about it (and I encourage them) they are my most ferocious protectors. One dove across a table once to stop me from eating a fortune cookie that had orange flavor in it when I never even stopped to look (who would have thought! Now I know!) The ones that fed me those carrots with orange peel at Thanksgiving felt so horrible I sent them a crate of oranges and a note that said keep that crap at your house, not mine, love and kisses, Gigi, just so they would know I wasn’t mad. Accidents happen but as long as you stay calm as it’s happening, everyone else will. I’m rooting for you!
Wow… I’ve managed to avoid it for a couple years. My favorite thing is when people don’t understand someone being allergic to fruit. So annoying. All the times I’ve been in that position I was under the age of 10, so my memory’s a little foggy. (I can imagine!) But I’ve only had to use the epipen once. On thing I really hope to become a reality for me is getting an allergen detection dog, since its so severe for me, like you’d never know the egg is there. Yeah, most people grow out of the egg, but I’m just one of those “lucky” people.
I’m lucky enough to go to a gifted school, where I have great teachers and supportive peers (48 in total, K-12). It scares me sometimes, and my biggest fear is developing another allergy out of the blue. When I was about 6 or 7 I reacted to, I think it was walnuts, but before that I would eat handfuls of nuts all the time. As for eggs, that been around since before I was a year old. I have to constantly do stuff with my hands because of ADD, so I have 4 bracelets I usually wear everywhere that serve as something for me to mess with and a comfort item of sorts.
I’ve never had a reaction in a restaurant, mainly because out of fear I order the most basic food ever. I plan to get a medical alert bracelet soon, they’re only around 20$, so I can have allergies+ my anxiety disorder on there. I’m also severely necrophobic.
Thank you!
Although it seems that this isn’t happening principally (or even barely tangentially) for food sensitivity-related reasons, it’s still a step in the right direction: an elementary school (apparently in the Cincinnati area?) has adopted a policy that any kids’ birthday celebrations must be food-free.
http://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2014/10/10/burlington-elementary-bans-birthday-cake-school/17052501/
I’d love to see more schools go this direction. And I’d love to see the expression on the face of Carina Hoskisson (the woman who wrote the Huff Post article addressed in GD’s OP above) in reaction to this story.
Some passages of interest:
QUOTE:
[Valerie] Bailey, the PTA mom who helped with the policy, said it was a difficult decision. “I hesitated at first,” she said.
But she thinks it makes sense from a health standpoint, and from a practical one. Birthday parties were taking up too much class time, she said. Students would bring in large packs of cupcakes, or other sweets that took lots of time to pass out and clean up. Sometimes there would be three such celebrations in a day.
“They (teachers) were struggling with how to manage birthday celebrations. Not that there are always three a day, but it was getting over the top,” she said.
…
It didn’t come without pain.
“There was quite a bit of push back the first week,” Bailey said. “But once people started seeing the reasoning for it and realizing there were other options, they’re starting to get creative and find alternatives to still celebrate birthdays.”
For example, one student brought jump ropes for the class and they had a jump rope party to celebrate his birthday.
It’s not uncommon for schools make rules about in-class treats due to food allergies. Many encourage – but don’t’ mandate – healthy food for celebrations.
The Enquirer found only one other local school district with a similar rule. Southgate, a one-school district in Campbell County has restricted birthday food for awhile, said Superintendent Jim Palm. It also won an award from the Northern Kentucky Health Department for its policies.
ENDQUOTE
I’m not expecting everyone to agree with me on another point I want to make presently — but ultimately, I’d just as soon see any sort of birthday recognitions at schools completely done away with. Why are we teaching kids in the first place that just because it’s your birthday the world must grind to a screeching halt?
Something that made me think of this thread:
My cousin’s wife posted on facebook the other day complaining that her kids couldn’t bring peanut butter to school because one child was allergic. I asked her if she thought it was ok to ostracize one child to appease the rest. She responded that it was her kids, and all of the others that were being ostracized… Ok, maybe she didn’t get the meaning of ostracized. In the meantime the comments that piled up were of the “toughen the kid up” and “pussification of America” ilk. My niece, who is a brilliant RN, reminded them that they were speaking about a child.
I went the more, um, Brooklyn route, by calling them keyboard warriors and asking them to come see if they could toughen me up. I also expressed my sympathy to my cousins kids, who would have to live without something they could easily eat ANYWHERE else, so another child wouldn’t get sick, or possibly die. How awful for them. I know- I lowered myself, but it shut them up.
Then I reminded my cousin’s wife about the genetic possibility that her kids could have celiac, considering my brother and I have it, my mom likely had it, and my mom, two of her brothers, and their mother all died relatively young from cancer.
Crickets. Nothing.
Besides my siblings and their families, nobody on my mom’s side acknowledges the possibility of celiac. Sad, considering the 180 I’ve done since I’ve been diagnosed.
There are no words Ken. When caring about others means being a p*ssy, it just goes to show how far the human race has fallen.
It’s just so easy to toss any semblance of reason, because there are no consequences to saying such things.
I honestly don’t wish harm, or illness on anyone, but I have to remind these people that it could be THEIR child. I don’t have kids, but I am responsible for my developmentally disabled brother. I KNOW I will do anything possible to keep him from harm. I can’t understand how this doesn’t register with some parents. The lack of empathy is saddening and disturbing, but I will continue to be on the side of reason, even if it means running into brick walls.
Well, the bitchy side of me wants to say “there’s no cure for stupidity” but honestly I feel sorry for her kids. They will miss out on a lot not learning how to be empathetic to others needs and what if the shoe is on their foot?
As far as the “p-ification” of America, aside from the fact that it is just an annoying term, what does it say about people that can’t or won’t sacrifice a little to help someone out or stand up for others and show compassion? That’s whimpy!
Let me start of by saying, this: “Comparing yourself to a child is ridiculous. Actually, in this case, maybe it’s not.” Made me LOL!
Okay, I came across your article because . . . . my daughter broke a growth plate in her foot and she is in a boot and has an excuse for P.E. I asked her teacher to keep her in from recess too, because a. it’s too cold to be outside and not moving and b. what kid should be required to sit on the cold ground for 20 minutes while his/her friends run and play? I’m wondering WHY, as a parent, I can’t excuse my child from recess when she’s wearing a boot for her broken foot???
In calling my husband, because I’m sitting here shaking in my head (so much it hurts, lol), he reminded me of all the issues we’ve had with the school and accommodations with her Celiac disease. They make us feel like it’s such a huge inconvenience to have her around, why? I just don’t know. I don’t care for her teacher this year, I asked for birthdays of students, but she doesn’t have time to get that to me, so my kiddo comes home in tears cuz there were treats and she didn’t have her GF cupcake (which we’ve been doing for the past 3 years with no issues). The principal even told us they don’t have to accommodate her because it’s not in her record that she has a life threatening illness. Well, she was diagnosed 3 years ago and we told the school about it, why, then, wasn’t it mentioned they needed this paperwork?????
UGH, ignorant people! I just can’t say anymore! I’m calling the school superintendent, but am not feeling very hopeful!
Hi Melissa,
Not to sound cold but you have to find a way to make your daughter not care about not getting a cupcake as soon as possible. I left a comment above forever ago so you can read about my allergies but the earlier you learn it’s not meant to leave you out, it’s just how the world works, the better. I could never eat stuff at school unless it had an ingredient list so I feel your daughter’s pain but there are ways to cope. I never eat cakes from bakeries so pretty much every party I went to as a kid, I was your daughter. I never had an alternative, I just hung out while people ate cake. For me, I always just enjoyed the break from class. Help her find the alternative fun without the food. Total bummer about her foot!!! I hope it heals soon.
Hang in there Melissa…
I’M SO MAD! I KNEW BETTER!!! I had been GF since 2013! Please excuse me, my brain is on gluten and I am having trouble putting my thoughts together succinctly.
For several months, my tummy has been hot some days, but not others. Over the last few days I’ve been feeling like Roto-Rooter cleaned out my intestines with heavy grade sandpaper. I HAD been feeling pretty good and was getting stronger until the last couple weeks when I realized that I am likely getting gluten and may have been for several months (cross contamination), and for the life of me could not see where it was coming in. I am happy to announce after eating just potatoes and chicken, that I did indeed find it today.
You cannot trust the label that says it is “GLUTEN FREE” in bold print on the front. Stay clear of CLAEYS candy. After many phone calls and still no response, I got hold of a company that sells CLAEYS product and explained my health problem (in detail). She heard me and said they would put a notice on all their candies that are made in facilities that manufacture wheat. I continue to have trouble getting hold of the manufacturer.
I AM MAD! At myself as well as CLAEYS. 1 800 348 2239 is the number listed on the package, but no one answered so I left a message asking them to call me. I did not mention gluten free, but I will if I don’t hear from them.
If any of you feel like being activists, (politely of course), to add on their packaging that it processes wheat, it would be helpful so no one else gets sick.
Thanks for listening to me. comments are all welcome 🙂 Please tell me what soothes your gut. Waaa!
I’m feeling hugely angry right now! I’ve got a colleagues birthday dinner to go to and it’s been booked at a Chinese restaurant! I don’t want to take the risk because they don’t even have a gluten free menu. I was explaining to one of my colleagues that I won’t be able to go to the dinner but if someone can message me when everyone is close to finishing their meals then I will come along to have a drink with them. My friend, who booked the restaurant, told me that someone she knows goes there to eat and she’s fussy too but eats the chicken and fries! I told her that I’m not being fussy…I have celiacs therefore it’s not a choice and if I have gluten I get very unwell! Another friend then told me that I shouldn’t have said anything and should be going for a meal because I am being unsociable and my colleagues probably feel that I’m really saying, “Look at me! I’m special and want attention!” I was only diagnosed recently so this is all relatively new. I’ve known since I was a kid that I had a wheat allergy, which was diagnosed through testing but have been told for years that I have IBS also. It was only this last year that a new doctor said I had way too many symptoms including my iron levels dropping while taking iron tablets! Finally a proper diagnosis but now I have to put up with ignorance and hurtful comments. To be told I’m attention seeking is just taking it way too far!!! Anyone else have this issue and how do you respond?
I have a kid at school who’s mom is like that. once at a school function, the kid said “just one bite of this cupcake, come on, it won’t hurt you.” then proceds to shove it in my face. . . i told the mom “your son just killed me. the allergy stuff doesn’t work on auto-immune disorders. my mom will have a talk with our lawyer.”
Her face…
of course i din’t aculy die (im typin g this on a cat peed on keyboard, so kinda obvious)