Okay so I’d like to discuss friendships, romantic relationships, and even family.
So I’ve been suffering most of my life with chronic pain, chronic migraines and fatigue, skin rashes, digestive issues, joint pain, and more — due to frequent visits to the ER and urgent care facilities, I started Persuing medical help when I was 15. I am 27 now and finally 3 months ago figured out the mystery just from an elimination diet: this time it was gluten.
I’ve had friends come and go, and honestly most friends never stick around through the hard stuff. They wouldn’t drive me to the ER because they didn’t want to leave a party or football game and they sure as hell didn’t give me any support. Most of the time they’d say maybe it’s stress or maybe you should drink more water, or just plain old accuse me of faking for attention. Let’s just say right now I have no friends. Most of them gave up on inviting me anywhere , because I frequently said yes and then felt too sick or was in too much pain to go.
Family was very similar. Until recently (after figuring everything out), every ER or doctor visit was questioned and every headache was blamed on mental health like stress or depression or wanting attention. Only until I got out on my own and had to pay for all my medical bills did my parents realize that I may actually be going to these doctors and urgent care facilities out of necessity. Who would want to shovel out thousands of hard earned money to get out on prescriptions that give you horrible side effects???! Now after diagnosis, they have been super supportive and bring me fresh veggies, meat, and fruit- and even help make me freezer meals. I couldn’t do it without them at this point.
Now with boyfriends, I got a little of that but mostly they were extremely concerned with how sick I was and tried helping. Honestly I felt a ton of guilt when dating someone especially as I felt deeper feelings for them. I mostly barely wanted to go anywhere, felt sick most of the time, was pretty grumpy or out of it a lot, and had a come and go sex drive that sometimes made them feel less wanted . Not to mention the huge kicker, I found out I was infertile at the ripe age of 23. So I also knew I couldn’t offer them the chance to have kids later… So let’s just say I had a lot of boyfriends. I ended up breaking it off with quite a few because I felt like I was holding them back or couldn’t offer them what they deserved. I am in a relationship now and I still struggle with those feelings but I’m open with him about everything… He has helped me through a lot and has stood by me. He calls me his “white buffalo” which makes me feel super special. I have a lot to offer and am much more myself since going gluten free , but it has been a long winded struggle and I know it’s not over.