I’ve been happily married to the one and only Mrs. Dude for 23 years now. We were already 15 years in when I got the dreaded celiac diagnosis. While obviously the diagnosis itself pretty much sucked, at least Mrs. Dude and I were able to learn the ropes together. Well…let’s be honest…Mrsa. Dude took command and I followed her lead.
But I know that most aren’t that lucky. This call for help is for all you folks out there who have navigated the “new relationship” thing with celiac disease. Here’s the email:
Just when I thought I had this whole Celiac thing figured out, I got hit with another life event that throws a wrench in my routines and ‘safety procedures’; I got divorced.
Now I’m still young, and childless, so this has simplified parts of this scenario (and it was for the best really). But time has passed and what I’m left with now is figuring out how to navigate the dating world as a Celiac. And I don’t mean going out for drinks with someone and playing mini-putt. I mean the stage of dating where you go over Friday, and then its Sunday, and you wonder how so much time passed… and then you wonder why you can’t concentrate, why your neuropathy is back, and why everything hurts. BAM. Glutened at new-potential-partner’s-house. No real surprise there; lets be honest.
Now he’s an understanding guy, and has dated the fad-gluten-free-types before. In fact, he’s vegan, so he understands restrictions. But not exactly cross-contamination. It’s early days, but as I spend more and more time with him, I will be required to eat. And I can’t live with being in a constant state of cross-contamination. He would come to my place, but he’s deathly allergic to my cat (and I’m not about to evict the cat just yet…). And the real kicker; while he has his own place, he’s an expert Couchsurfing host, meaning new people are always cooking in his kitchen.
Thoughts!? How do others navigate this part of dating? Do I pack lunches and dinners for myself? Do I eat processed foods? Do I eat foods that require less prep at his place? Do I get rid of my cat? Do I suffer in silence? Do I demand he stop hosting Couchsurfers (a hobby he loves)? I don’t want to be THAT girl!!
I really never thought I ‘d have this problem.
Smitten, but glutened.
Ok…I’ll give it my best shot, one question at a time.
Do I pack lunches and dinners for myself? Until you can feel safe at his place…yes. Or you offer to cook, getting the point across how important it is that you know exactly what is in every morsel you eat. (Isn’t celiac fun??!!)
Do I eat processed foods? Nooo.
Do I eat foods that require less prep at his place? Now you’re talking. No need to go all elaborate. Keep it simple. Best advice for all celiacs.
Do I get rid of my cat? Nope. Is there anything he can take on his end?
Do I suffer in silence? Definitely NOT.
Do I demand he stop hosting Couchsurfers (a hobby he loves)? Dang…so many things to consider. Demand? No. Discuss? Yes.
How do others navigate this part of dating? Ummm…folks…this is where you jump in.
And speaking of dating…take it away Vince.