I think it’s time for a good old-fashioned “Gluten Dude Take Down”.
It’s been awhile and I’m a bit out of practice, but after a month of holding my tongue as the gluten-free community got mocked, doubted and trampled upon, I can hold it in no longer. On social media and online, it has been an all-out assault on those who go gluten-free and it has been a sad and frustrating spectacle to behold.
I have so many people I could spew my venom at but I think I’ll focus my energies today on one Bruce Bialosky.
And it so saddens me to take down a Bruce. I mean…Bruce Springsteen. Lenny Bruce. Bruce Wayne!!
Who is Bruce Bialosky you ask? Well, he’s a political columnist…because…why not? Isn’t that who should be writing about gluten?
And the article I’m referencing is called “Having a Laugh About Gluten” because my god, our health is so funny to those who don’t suffer.
As is my thing, I’ll break his putrid article down piece by piece and respond accordingly.
Bruce says: It all started while we were on vacation and watched a video on the Daily Caller from the Jimmy Kimmel show.
I say: If I hear one more reference to this Kimmel skit as proof that gluten-free is BS, I’m gonna lose it. They found FOUR PEOPLE and that means the whole universe has no clue about gluten? If Kimmel did the same skit about any special diet (carb, fat, sugar, etc.), how many people actually could define what those things are? Attention to all gluten-free haters: referencing the Kimmel skit does not help your argument. It just makes you look lazy and uninformed.
Bruce says: Personally, I was a naysayer on the subject of gluten as the California crazies hopped on the bandwagon of the mania. That was until my endocrinologist told me that avoiding gluten would help me control my blood sugar level while I was losing weight which aided my avoiding diabetes.
I say: So let me get this straight…you decided, before educating yourself one iota, that gluten-free was just for the “crazies”? You must be a real deep guy Bruce.
Bruce says: It is true that some people have intolerance to gluten, but it is not an allergy – it is just an intolerance. That is estimated to be one person out of every 133.
I say: You’re right Bruce. Celiac is not an allergy. It’s an autoimmune disease that if undetected can lead to a variety of awful health maladies, including cancer. But…hey…it’s JUST an intolerance. No need to get all serious about it.
Bruce says: Here is where the fun starts – there has never (yes, never) been a study that has shown that avoiding gluten for the other 132 people without an intolerance has any beneficial effect. But don’t try to convince the crazed people who have sworn off gluten as if it were a deadly poison.
I say: First off, why the f*ck do you get pleasure out of this? And even more so, why do you care that people who are concerned about their health give up gluten to see if it helps? Anyway, there has NEVER been a study done for non-celiac gluten sensitivity? How about this one? Would you like to see some more?
Bruce says: Then I found out that corn, rice, and potatoes have no gluten. Being the cynical person I am, it occurs to me who might be behind this entire fad. Certainly there is no science behind it, but there sure is plenty of push to avoid gluten. Could it be corn, rice, and potato growers have banded together to convince the American public to eat their product and avoid those other foods?
I say: I knew a conspiracy theory had to come in here somewhere Bruce. Those with limited intelligence usually take this path. If there is any conspiracy theory going on here, it’s the wheat industry that is fighting the gluten-free trend because they are losing billions of dollars. Think about it. The people who are buying gluten-free are no longer buying wheat-laden products. That’s gotta hurt and they want that money back.
Bruce says: Then I read about Peter Gibson, a professor from Melbourne, Australia, who did a study in 2011 that found gluten intolerance is a genuine condition. The study was widely accepted and accelerated the concern about gluten launching an increase of 50 percent in the sale of gluten-free products in the United States. However, Gibson did not have the “settled science” lobby breathing down his neck and redid his testing. He discovered that the reactions found in the first tests were not actually related to gluten.
I say: Talk to the thousands of people I’ve heard from who gave up gluten and rediscovered their health. Mr. Gibson’s study was based on a sample of 37 people. Yes, it is possible that FODMAPS play a role in NCGS too. I will leave that up to the science and medical community to determine. But again, if somebody gives up gluten and feels a thousand times better, why does it bother you? Oh…and you want another conspiracy? Mr. Gibson’s latest research was funded by George Weston Foods, one of the largest food companies and bakeries in Australia.
Bruce says: Don’t try and hang this one on us – the Republicans. We still eat our meat and baby backs. We didn’t fall for all this malarkey. But accepting blame for their errors has never been a big feature of the left. Watching the left genuflect to the latest food fad or any other unscientific craze is always great entertainment.
I say: Turning it into a left vs right thing? Really? Typical political hack. Looking to divide rather than unite.
Bruce says: So this 4th of July weekend, eat those hot dogs and burgers and enjoy yourself with reckless abandon while you celebrate your freedom from the food police.
I say: Don’t listen to people who speak from their asses. And don’t eat with reckless abandon. If eating gluten-free makes you feel better, eat gluten-free. It really is that plain and simple. Don’t let the haters like Bruce bring you down. I’m behind you 100%.