Related Articles

36 Comments

  1. 1

    Molly

    This disease takes not only a toll on our health but an even greater toll on our quality of life. I can’t count the number of times I have wanted to, or did cry in a grocery store or after being invited to an event I used to enjoy, like going to a restaurant. And it’s not because I can’t eat the food. It’s because of the people. People who point out the gluten free menu options that I don’t trust at the restaurant or make supposedly harmless suggestions at the grocery store (“these products don’t contain any gluten INGREDIENTS.”). And the people who feel bad for eating in front of me even though I don’t care. It’s just so hard to feel secure when other people, even doctors, question your reality. These symptoms are real and you guys all know that, so why does it hurt so much that there are others who don’t.

    Reply
  2. 2

    IrishHeart

    Well, ranters, you all have some solid complaints about the asshats you have encountered in your GF journey and all I can say is this:
    “There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ people. Some are a little better or a little worse, but all are activated more by misunderstanding than malice.”
    –Tennessee Williams

    Until there is a better understanding of celiac, you will continue to encounter these unenlightened people FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES and your mission is to continue to educate others and keep your head about you and be calm. Think to yourself, “Odds are—this asshat is going to have a gluten issue down the road, too”.

    I know my response will not be the one you want to hear, but I ask you to consider this from a different perspective.

    I share your frustrations at times, but I truly think it is more of a lack of understanding rather than overt unkindness. Sorry, dear peeps, but we are not “entitled to special treatment” because of celiac; yet, we seem to have expectations that seem unrealistic to others.

    I’m going to be blunt. Family members and friends who are still unable or unwilling to accept your diagnosis and scoff at your need to be free from CC–are not just being asshats. They are sending a big message to you. They do not want to accomodate you. Period. And I suspect the family members who voice their scoffing of you the loudest–are gluten intolerant themselves. Why else would they be so obnoxious?

    Gluten = grouchypants.

    And if we go all postal on waitstaff, it just perpetuates the stereotype of us being picky, trendy, miserable and all the other words we loathe. Stay calm when asking questions. Ask for the manager. And if you are getting a “deer in the headlights” look? That’s your cue to EAT ELSEWHERE.They aren’t getting it!

    And for the love of mike, do not go anywhere without snacks!!

    Here’s one last thought: DO NOT EAT at places like Subway. You are just asking for trouble. Fast food places are gluten-filled land mines! Recall how many mistakes you made when you started out GF??? well, these people have no working knowledge of the disease, where gluten lurks or what it takes to avoid cc. What’s more is–they do not really care because it does not affect them personally.

    YET.

    Gluten eventually bites everyone on the arse —
    either directly or indirectly. (recall the waitress who told us her story?) Think: Six degress of gluten :)

    Want to add a thought here. I saw this in the New York Times. It was written in response to an Op-Ed piece about how we humans
    often show an outpouring of good deeds whenever disasters and tragedies strike, especially if it happens during the holiday season.
    The past few weeks shook us all to the core, but I believe that people are essentially good and it is shown time and again.

    I have no clue who wrote it, but I like the sentiment:

    “The Random Walk of Chance is cruel,
    Ill fortune adds fire to the fuel,
    Be kind to each other
    As Sister to Brother
    Every day, and not just at the Yule.”

    Be kind to each other–even the asshat who foolishly puts croutons on your salad. He is not doing it to be mean, but is likely overworked, underpaid, tired and may have more horrible shit going on in his life than you can ever imagine. Or he is just a simmering celiac himself and has brain fog so thick he heard what you said– but he simply forgot because he cannot think straight. (been there/ done that)

    As always, this is just my opinion, I could be wrong.:)

    Cheers!
    and a Happy, Healthy and Kindness-filled New Year to all!

    Reply
    1. 2.1

      Gluten Free Makeup Gal

      Just wanna say a quick “Thank You” for this post Irish. :) It’s so true! Not that it isn’t frustrating, but in our “who cares what you eat” society it can be hard to wrap one’s brain around how VITAL avoiding certain foods are for certain people. Not so much that they’re being ugly, they just don’t understand.

      And again, it’s so true… If certain friends or certain family members don’t care enough about you to take your needs into consideration, they may not be worth stressing over. If someone loves you, values you and cares about your well-being, they will TRY to respect your needs. Even if they don’t quite “get” it, they will try. If they don’t even try, well… My advice would be to graciously back away from the relationship and find someone else. At the end of the day, all we have are our friends and family. Make sure you can count on them.

      Anyway, thanks for comment. I really appreciated it. :)

      Reply
    2. 2.2

      Molly

      Agreed. I want to clarify that I absolutely cannot put blame on other people for the way they make me feel! I don’t like to complain. My goal is to have no reaction to other people’s misunderstandings about Celiac. Before I was diagnosed, if someone were to tell me they could not eat something because it touched gluten, I would have thought they had OCD for sure. So educating people is helpful, but being able to have enough confidence in myself is the only thing that will stop Celiac from messing up my life. And I’m working on it!

      Reply
    3. 2.3

      Gemini

      NICE post, Irish! You hit the nail on the head with this one….slammed it out of the park. I have been GF for almost 8 years and some of the Celiac whiners are really annoying me. Hell…I don’t even think it sucks most of the time to have this disease because it is truly second nature to me now. I don’t remember eating gluten anymore and I have learned to pass off the remarks, especially from family, for what they really are…remarks made by denialist gluten heads. How could anyone be so ignorant about what goes into their tummies? Celiac’s have evolved into higher beings, that’s all. At some point, lose the anger and move on.

      Reply
      1. 2.3.1

        The Gluten Dude

        All I’m trying to do is provide a forum for people to let out their celiac frustrations a bit and then hopefully move on.

        I think it’s important to have a place where you feel comfortable letting off a bit of steam. As long as you can move forward and try your best to keep it positive.

        Keeping things bottled up ain’t good…

        Reply
        1. 2.3.1.1

          IrishHeart

          I think we all agree on this one, Gdude.
          Let it out –to those who truly get it—or you’ll go mad.
          Then, move on.

          No one can live a full or healthy life being angry every minute of it.
          (I had major anger issues over what happened to me and I still have moments whenever anyone tells a story about being misdiagnosed for so long or is not taken seriously by a doctor. Makes me see red. argh!)

          To me,
          there is a big difference between saying:

          “oh poor me, I have celiac and there’s nothing to eat “….and never taking charge of your diet, learning to cook and eating healthfully so you can get well (or worse, cheating on it ! wtf?! )

          and saying:

          “hey guys, I feel shitty today ;( … and I am not getting any support…and I just need some mega cyberhugs and lovins”.

          One is being a “victim” and sounds whiny
          and the other is just “venting” and getting the needed support.

          …..and as the Dude says, venting is good.

          Reply
        2. 2.3.1.2

          Molly

          I just wanted to vent. Really! Like I said, trying to work on this! My biggest fear about celiac is sounding “whiny” or getting special treatment from anyone…

          Reply
          1. 2.3.1.2.1

            IrishHeart

            Molly,

            I just want to clarify something.

            My posts are not directed at you specifically.

            They are rated G–for general audience :) :)

            and to all ranters–myself included.

            Mine just happened to follow yours.

            Ok, sweetie? okay.
            Cheers!
            IH

            Reply
  3. 3

    Kate J

    One of my rants has appeared above. And Irish Heart is right – we cannot expect everyone else on the planet to just know what we need. We have to explain it, and we need to be reasonably sure that we have been understood.

    But for my one bad experience this month, I’ve had four good ones that I’d like to share:

    A very hurried waiter suggested a dish for me, which I agreed to (apart from being gluten-free, I’m not a fussy eater) and when it came it had filo pastry. Doesn’t sound too good so far? Well he took it back to the kitchen, along with my dietary card, apologised lots and offered me another dish which really was gluten free. No fuss, no bother, just sorted it. (Donisl, Marienplatz, Munich)

    The work Xmas dinner came a week later. I had to order in advance, and nothing looked suitable, so I e-mailed them. I got a whole new menu all to myself, including some delicious home-made gluten-free bread. Everything was fantastic. (Lion & Pheasant, Shrewsbury)

    Christmas dinner at my brother’s house. Most of it was gluten-free, and he left the crumby stuff until I had a plateful (because he knows Dad doesn’t get it and he’s seen the results, which aren’t nice).

    My sister in law did a buffet – again most of it was gluten-free, and the crumby stuff (just a few crackers) was yards away from the rest of the food.

    (I don’t think my family would like all you gluten-free people just landing at their houses, so I won’t put their addresses on here. But feel free to visit the restaurants if you’re in the neighbourhood)

    So I had a fantastic gluten-free December (I am well aware when I get glutened, and I just didn’t).

    Have a happy and healthy gluten-free new year.

    Reply
  4. 4

    Claudia

    Happy New Year to ya, and hope to see more of these rants. I have been GF for over 6 months and yes, I can do the diet with my hands tied behind my back—-its how it fucks us up emotionally. Keep this stuff coming. I’m thinking of writing a memoir called “Fuck You, I’m Celiac”. Sort of a Lewis Black rant.

    Reply
    1. 4.1

      IrishHeart

      hahahaha….I’d read that! Go for it. ;)

      Reply
      1. 4.1.1

        thetxlady

        Claudia lewis black is gluten & dairy intolerent! However with rodeos being an unforgiving place for gluten he “does the best he can”…crap I’m thinking baxter black (looked up lewis)

        Anyway my point there are some good comedy writers with this disease either diagnosed or still wandering the wheat wilderness doing the best they can. Might as well co-author with someone funny & known to publishers.

        As for the student…if everyone knows & she did iit anyway with intention to harm file an assault charge with the school. Under the ADA we fall under medical disability…if she’d wrecked a wheel chair joy riding or hid canes it would still be harassment due to disability, by intentionally harming your safe food its intent to do bodily harm (assault)

        Some people are just intent on doing harm. Had family member say to everyone I was skipping family dinners due to bipolar disease that made my stomach hurt…talk about making me sound like a nut!! I only found out about it because the family “designated nut” used it as ammo while trying to tell me off (apparently helping her keep custody of her kids is a bad thing?)
        I don’t have bipolar (or ever have) & this same person had gone to the drama of traveling to an amish store to buy me gluten free mixes that I got instead of gifts “because the amish are honest about stuff like that”…umm yeah bob’s red mill because you can’t find it in every GF store on the planet.
        While I did cuss them a blue streak about the first comment, all I could think opening gifts was bless your stupid lil heart. Sometimes all the education, discussion & intention in the world still ends with shaking your head & using the southern magic eraser…bless your heart.

        -So you can’t have bread or flour…we took off the potato you ordered
        -So this card isn’t in spanish…brought you a salad with extra croutons its vegitarian
        -New gluten free menu 35 items on sign…you can have salad, 4 kinds of spinach, any of the sides except the potatos, beans & corn (see we know GF) & ribs without sauce. Burgers aren’t safe because they come with buns (umm yeah)
        -oh GF I have schizophrenia of the gut too (that 1 was a lil funny)
        -well its GF we only use a lil flour to thicken the sauce

        …Happy new year & bless their stupid lil hearts!!!

        Reply
        1. 4.1.1.1

          angela

          Irish – I love your rant!
          Claudia – I could so totally read and add to your book too!
          TX lady – I live in San Antonio. There are a lot of vegetarians/vegans I know (myself on most days included), when we go to a regular taco place and ask: “Is there meat in this?” The answer is generally: “No, it’s just beef.” or “No, it’s just sausage (from a pig!).” But my favorite is, “No, it’s just chicken.” So, you can only imagine when I ask for a gluten free menu! “No gluten, it’s whole wheat.” I think a lot of people down here think that Gluten is like Sugar. I’ve been assumed to be diabetic so many times because I have to ask about meat and wheat. I get it: Protein vs. Carbs… but I’m not diabetic, I’m not morbidly obese, I’m not skinny like an anorexic, I have Celiac!

          So, it’s a lot easier for me to just stick to my Costco-bought organic produce, and juice it! When I eat out, I always make sure I get something with A LOT of brown rice (Chipotle, PF Chang’s), so it can help me digest and block my leaky gut holes so I don’t end up with “corn belly”/gluten pain/brain fog/or just that feeling of being glutened.

          Reply
          1. 4.1.1.1.1

            IrishHeart

            Just to clarify: I really try NOT to rant. I am practicing yoga and meditation and deep breathing and saying ” OHM, OHM, OHM” a lot.

            “ranting” implies “aggression” and is defined as : to “utter in a bombastic declamatory fashion” and “to suddenly give a long passionate speech that usually results in rambling and repeating of nonsense.”

            Granted, sometimes I write long posts (and my friends are ROFL their collective asses off at the word “sometimes” :) )
            and I have been called “passionate”–both with admiration and once as an intended criticism and bitch slap from someone and it made me mad because I knew full well she meant…..

            oh craponacracker!…wait…now I am sort of ranting………whoops..

            OHM OHM OHM

            ;) Happy New Year, Angela!

            Reply
            1. thetxlady

              Just say it with me Irish…BLESS THEIR HEART

              Reply
              1. IrishHeart

                Bless Their Hearts (this is code, right?) :)

                Reply
            2. The Gluten Dude

              Funny…I’m starting to read about meditation. Does it work?

              Reply
              1. IrishHeart

                I think so, yes. But it took me a long time to develop the ability to really sit quietly, do NOTHING and just breathe. I try to do -5 10 minutes at a time if I can.

                I was just joking about the OHM thing…I have my own meditative word.
                I do not do the “sit with my legs crossed and go into a trance” kind of meditation. :) (my legs would cramp up in about 5 seconds if I did that)

                I am really doing what’s called “mindfulness”. I took a class in stress reduction years ago–it was supposed to help with chronic pain.

                I just sit quietly, alone–preferably with the sun on my face– with no distractions— and close my eyes. Take 3 deeps breaths. Slowly draw it into your belly and then your chest and blow out long and slowly…then, just listen to the sounds in the room –or if I am outside, the birds or the breeze–and just “be”.

                Sounds odd, but it works.

                I read Jon Kabat Zinn’s work on stress reduction and mindful meditation. No way I can do 30 minutes, I’m not that disciplined, :) but even doing 5 or 10 –really helps. Give it a whirl, dude!

                Reply
                1. Pixie

                  Mindfulness is so useful!

                  Another technique that helps is to do what they call a sensory count.

                  You count 5 things that you hear, then feel, then see.
                  Then 4, 3, 2, 1.

                  Dedicating some time each day to mindfulness is so good for you mentally. Helps refresh your mind and keep you focused.

                  Reply
        2. 4.1.1.2

          Claudia

          Thanks thetxlady, for the encouragement!

          Reply
  5. 5

    David

    Irish, I agree with everything you said. Being GF is, with out a doubt, overwhelming. It takes patience, patience, patience and am extra large sense of humor to deal with the sheer unmitigated idiocy that alleged professionals (doctors, dietitians, chefs. etc.) display as well as those who allegedly love us, like our relatives and friends. Of course, this is preaching to the choir. Just like an editorial, those who really need to be educated about something they don’t understand won’t read these opinions. And that is the frustrating thing since Information is available. Oh well, happy new year, everyone.

    Reply
  6. 6

    Donna T

    I was invited to a baby shower at a fancy hotel and called by the hostess trying to understand what I can eat. I told her to just plan the menu and I would call the chef and see if he could prepare something simple for me that would be gluten free. I then got an excited email with attachment from the hostess saying that she had called and they have a gluten free menu. I had a choice of all the most premium entrees – salmon, steak, stuffed chicken. Also, the most delicious desserts – creme brulee, flourless chocolate cake, and cheesecake. They are having ravioli – I think I will be the one with the coveted meal. How often does that happen to a celiac?

    Reply
    1. 6.1

      KateJ

      It happened to me too. At the work Xmas party.
      Of the three courses I had one item from the main menu but slightly adapted, and two items that weren’t anywhere on the main menu. Everyone was very jealous!
      And it shows that when restaurants do take notice, they can deal with us very well.
      I have made sure to put my experiences on Trip Advisor – I firmly believe that if we throw the bouquets as fast as the brickbats other eateries will be encouraged to cater for us properly, which can only be a good thing.

      Reply
      1. 6.1.1

        IrishHeart

        Brilliant Idea, KateJ !! :)

        I also review on TripAdvisor, Yelp and soon, I will add to
        Find Me Gluten Free (also a great site)
        so other celiacs can get the straight dope on where it’s safe
        and what to avoid.

        We can all do this and pay it forward. Just takes a few minutes.

        Bouquets to you, Kate! ;)

        Reply
      2. 6.1.2

        thetxlady

        Had this at one of my holiday parties. Everyone else got HIGHLY portion controlled buffet (steak chicken OR salmon not combo), salad, potato. & canned green beans. My salad came from the back obviously just made with hand done vinegrette on the side. My salad sat for 25 minutes while every other table went through the buffet…others at my table kept joking about stealing my salad or how my meal (just based on salad) was going to be better. After everyone else got to go through buffet I finally started eating & here comes my meal…petit filet & 6oz grilled salmon (sans glaze), & steamed veggie medly. They did omit the starch even after the potato or rice conversation with server but I was so stuffed with even half a plate it didn’t matter. More than one person wanted to know “how I got the good meal”. Was a really nice change of pace…now if I could regularly afford landrys!

        Reply
  7. 7

    Carolinakip

    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
    Plato

    I love this and also….

    How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
    Georeg Washington Carver

    Love the post Irish!

    I’ve got some rants of my own…however, tonight…I’m going to be thankful for my fellow Celiacs, you all make it a lot easier! Just knowing you all experience many of the things I do. I look forward to a new gf year! Now on to some sparkling wine ;) Happy New year to all!

    Reply
  8. 8

    Pixie

    TXLady,
    I’m the student in the rant above… the truly ironic part of that is I’m in Criminal Justice, the class we were in was Criminal Law, and the professor was a Crown Prosecutor (I think it’s called a DA in the states?). I don’t feel the need to press charges; there are other problems going on with that student that the administration is handling and she won’t be there much longer. Kind of a “get what you put out there” situation.

    Reply
    1. 8.1

      IrishHeart

      ah yes, Pixie!

      honey, we call that

      “what goes around comes around”

      Karma…it bites you on the butt.

      ;)

      Reply
      1. 8.1.1

        Kate J

        I think the British saying goes along the lines of “you reap what you sow”. Although having seen the American show “My Name is Earl” karma – do good things, and good things happen; do bad things and bad things happen… that’s about right. If the other student gets her comeuppance some other way, then that’s natural justice.

        I get annoyed with my Dad for cross-contaminating my food (he seem to think denial is a good way to deal with things he doesn’t want to be true – if only that were true!) but I don’t think I’ve ever come across anyone who would do it deliberately. Ignorance (gluten-free – so that means no milk, right?) not listening (oh, gluten-free – I thought you said low cholesterol) not thinking (whoops, I’ve just but this spoon, which was covered in crumbs, into the fresh vegetables) – but not deliberate cruelty.

        I think if you are going to draw anything from this, at least you saw what she had done. Imagine how ill you would have been if she had surreptitiously scattered a few crumbs on top of your biscuits and no-one noticed.

        Reply
  9. 9

    GFgal

    I feel the pain and frustration here. As if it is not bad enough with the food pushers at work, I was told not to talk about my food ‘issues’ at work – and to not skip events due to the food being served. . . . .

    Reply
  10. 10

    Runningboy3

    My 10-year-old son was just diagnosed with celiac yesterday. He is still very sick; but we are hopeful for better days ahead. We are all enjoying your blog (especially your rants). It is keeping us laughing during a tough time. Thanks!!

    Reply
    1. 10.1

      The Gluten Dude

      So sorry to hear. Sending strength your way. Lots of it.

      Reply
  11. 11

    Bree

    One little rant for my entire holiday…I am so blessed by so many of my friends having taken time to learn about, ask for menus when they are out and just plain care.

    Every year we are the house with the New Year’s eve party. Buffet style, everyone asked to bring a dish to pass. I make the protien and enough other items so that I get enough and also show ppl that I don’t have to live on mashed potatoes. Can’t claim the baked ones anymore since one of the places we eat says they have gluten in them and they know more than I do….lol.

    So this year, we decided to jazz it up a little and asked our friends to just try to do more than toss a bag of chips on the table. Everyone stepped up greatly. I made lots of GF food and our table had ham, scalloped potatoes, chili, cheese-garlic busicuts, mini boston creme pies, several different versions of veggie platters, meatballs and cheeses and two types of baked pin wheels…one meat and one cheese. And a cheese fondue, served with veggies and bread. Everything on the table was GF except the last item, which my sister brought.
    She assembled it [ and I cleaned the area], she set it on the table along with forks ect.[ I had to 1. move it so that the electric pot wasn’t a hazzard 2. move it so that the bread wasn’t dragged across the whole table, as she put it on the back of the table.] I then LIED to my sister that night about how the fondue was nice[well not a lie…it was nice that she brought something ] .she said she was sure that no one would have dunked the bread in, since they all know that would be bad for me. Then she proceed to question me on how she saw me eating one of the mini boston creme pies…those aren’t GF…welll…ummm YES they can be especially since I made them myself. I felt personally attacked…like oh you ate those you must not really be sick.

    ok I had a great party with lots of good food and ppl. So I have just that little small thing go wrong. Can’t pick our families. Can’t make them listen, can’t expect them to respect us….cause that is all stuff that seems to belong totally to friendship since we get to pick our friends…if we are LUCKY, VERY, VERY LUCKY…. we get it in our families, too.

    Hope You all have a Happy Healthy[ier] GF New Year.

    Reply
    1. 11.1

      The Gluten Dude

      Thanks for sharing your frustrations Bree. Happy New Year to you!

      Reply
  12. 12

    Keratee

    I know this blog is a bit old but I just felt the need to vent a bit. In Feb I will be 5 months gluten free. Since being diagnosed with celiac, I’ve been following a gluten free diet very strictly. It’s been rough and even though its only been 5 months, I finally feel like a human again :).

    The only issue is it that I’m struggling to keep on any weight. I’m a 24year old girl who weighs 48kg (105lbs) and is quite petite. I don’t want to be overweight but just a healthy weight that doesn’t require me to have to go buy new clothes and feel skinny and sad about it all the time :(. I know that my body is still trying to recover from all the damage over the years and clearly it’s struggling to absorb nutrients.

    Everyone keeps telling me to eat bigger portions and more baked goods but I just don’t have the appetite. I actually force myself to eat at specific times just so I know I’ve eaten. Even in terms of portion sizes, I get full so quickly. I prefer not to eat junk food (crisp, chocolates, sweets, etc) because I feel that it’s not good for my body. I know I need to eat more protein like peanut butter and meat and fish. But also I don’t eat many processed products (rice crackers, etc) because I have to worry about oscillating between diarhhea and constipation. Also a lot of the flour mixtures for breads and doughs tend to make me bloated so I stick to rice as my staple food. Even when I eat fried foods, I feel nauseous and get really bloated.I also like to be active and run at least once a week so I try to carboload with some pasta.

    Being a celiac is tough and depressing at times :'(!! Especially when people keep telling you to do things. I know they just trying to help but there’s no quick fix. It’s tough remembering that you need to eat certain food groups and adequate portion sizes and that you are actually a “sick (Really HATE this word)” person. Guess I’m just having a bad day :( but I’m tough and will be fine. It’s hard trying to stay positive all the time. Hope the rest of you have better luck with it.

    “You can’t have a good day with a bad attitude, and you can’t have a bad day with a good attitude.” :).

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2019 Gluten Dude: The Naked Truth About Living Gluten Free | Legal Stuff | Need an Affordable Website?