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68 Comments

  1. 1

    Julie

    How about, “Well, if explosive diarrhea is the way you want to lose weight, then just take a handful of Ex-lax every day.” :)

    Reply
  2. 2

    IdeologyLite

    “Well, if you’re that committed, I suppose you could always become a crack/crystal meth/heroin addict instead…?”

    Reply
  3. 3

    Di

    I had a few people make similar comments but mine was I thought I see you again and you would be really skinny. Not all people with celiac disease get super skinny.
    Oh well what are you going to do

    Reply
  4. 4

    Pixie

    Celiac Disease is the best. I know I personally love the ever looming risk of intestinal cancer, and the high probability that I will develop Alzheimers and not recognize my family when I die. The skinniness is just a plus.

    Reply
  5. 5

    Jennifer

    I personally think “Go f*ck yourself,” is a pretty reasonable response to someone telling you you’re lucky to have a chronic illness. But maybe that’s just me.

    Reply
    1. 5.1

      Gluten Dude

      That’s what I’m talking about ;)

      Reply
      1. 5.1.1

        Jennifer

        It feels awesome for my kind of attitude to be so well received. Why haven’t I commented here before? <3

        Reply
        1. 5.1.1.1
    2. 5.2

      IrishHeart

      thanks for the morning coffee spit on my laptop, Jennifer!

      and bravo. :)

      Reply
    3. 5.3

      Ashley

      That’s what I was thinking! hahaha.
      I find a lot of times it doesn’t matter what you say…they are still going to think what they want!

      And celiacs aren’t all skinny…. I am not a “skinny celiac”. I’d like to call myself a “curvy celiac” :)

      Reply
      1. 5.3.1

        IrishHeart

        yes, indeed, Ashley!!
        I am a voluptuous, curvy celiac (after being emaciated once).
        thank the heavens, I never lost my “ta tas” :)

        Reply
        1. 5.3.1.1

          Gluten Dude

          Is it me, or is it getting hot in here ;)

          Reply
          1. 5.3.1.1.1

            IrishHeart

            :) :) :)

            Reply
    4. 5.4

      Keratee

      Well said!! :D I couldn’t have thought of something better than that!

      Reply
    5. 5.5

      jack miller

      no, that was my first thought too.

      Reply
    6. 5.6

      Gipsie_Girl

      Jennifer, you are awesome. Reading your clever reply was downright therapeutic for me.

      Reply
    7. 5.7

      Glutenless Girl

      Girl SAME! I just got diagnosed and if someone ever told me I was lucky that would also be my response!!!

      Reply
  6. 6

    Gluten-is-kryptonite

    Well not all Celiacs lose weight when they get glutened some like me actually gain weight. You like bloating? You like stomach pain that feels like you got punched in the gut? You like feeling like you have a combination of food poisoning and the flu? Well then you my friend are nuts if you want that.

    Reply
    1. 6.1

      Paula Harding

      This is me. I gain any where from 10-15 lbs over night when I get glutened.. I am over weight and have struggled with my weight all my life- when I learned I had celiacs and went gluten free I was expecting to lose a ton of weight- that is how is suppose to work right.. if you are too skinny pre- GF then you gain ..if you’re a fatty pre GF then you lose weight- nope not me. I balloned up like a grain fed cow packing on 35 lbs.. I did not begin to lose until I went on the Paleo diet. 2 years post Celiac- I don’t cheat -NOT EVER and I am NEVER Tempted by gluteny/dairy/soy/grainy goodies- not worth feeling like I am dying for two weeks with flu and food poisioning like symptoms exactly like you discribed is what happens to me..and then moodiness, hormonal issues, joint pain,allergies ,lack of sleep, the gluten rash, hair loss, mirgaines and no energry for a month.. nope not worth even considering -Now I get told that I am lucky my reactions are so severe to gluten and the other foods I have to avoid- it makes dieting so easy for me. what the heck ?? 1. People I am not GF to diet..I am eating the way I do to be well..2. have they seen me lately? I have been stuck at a size 18 for over a year- if I was GF to loose weight- it’s a pretty ineffective method don’t ya think cause I am still a fatty though a slightly smaller fatty than I was 2 years ago but not thin by an stretch and get to feel sick as well. Yes indeedy- I am lucky gal! O-o!

      Reply
  7. 7

    thetxlady

    I want to know who these mysterious skinny celiacs are…everyone I know with it are the eat right, work out & gain weight from a whole grain diet people. Even my trainer (3 time olympic athlete) was stumped on how my food diary & pantry (he came & checked) had so little but was gaining weight, having severe muscle fatigue/spasms & chronic dehydration. Well go figure the 6 auto-immune diseases cover most of that

    Reply
    1. 7.1

      Emma

      This is really old but I stumbled on this today… I am a “skinny Celiac.”* I lost about two inches off my previously bloated abdomen, then 30 pounds of actual weight when I cut out gluten. I went from 190 to 160 (I’m 5’10”) in about a year. People often comment on how “lucky” I am to “be” Celiac and to be so skinny. I usually reply, “Yeah, I eat a lot healthier now,” which is true…but, like, you don’t have to have Celiac to do that. Admittedly, in the months it took 4+ physicians to charge me thousands of dollars so my OB/GYN could randomly mention to me “cut out gluten and see what happens” (and another year before I got diagnosed), I developed a mild aversion to food. I don’t eat nearly as much as I used to.

      Otherwise, sure, I’m so lucky that, when I eat a tiny bit of gluten, my scalp bleeds, my arms break out in scabs and bumps, my stomach painfully bloats, I have intractable abdominal pain, I can barely focus, and my butthole develops bloody fissures. I’m so lucky for the miscarriages it’s caused. Meanwhile, servers roll their eyes when I ask for a GF menu, while others look at me and say, “I’m not sure if what has gluten or not…you can try it and see.” Meanwhile, coworkers pressure me to just “eat around the crust” or “oh, you can have a bite – that can’t possibly hurt” or “you didn’t have problems with wheat for how many years… not eating it now is just a choice.” Also, get-togethers with family and friends is always fun when people decide it’s their purview to comment on how my lettuce-wrapped burger “is better with bread, you know.” And getting chastised at work for not going to the company potluck, where “oh, that doesn’t have gluten” but IT’S CALLED BARLEY SOUP SO I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S LITERALLY MADE OF GLUTEN. Yeah. I love how routine interactions become an exercise in not lighting people on fire with my eyes. So. Lucky.

      How ’bout we not comment on each other’s bodies and food choices. How’s that for luck.

      Reply
  8. 8

    Melina

    Well, 90% of cases are undiagnosed…so you may be in luck! Here is the number for my gastroenterologist. Enjoy your colonoscopy.

    Reply
    1. 8.1

      KateJ

      I like this one. Just the right amount of sarcasm.

      :-)

      Reply
    2. 8.2

      Leila

      If this ever happens to me, I will use yours. If I remember it. ;)

      Reply
      1. 8.2.1

        Leila

        Actually, I think I would just walk away while muttering ‘stupid idiot’ loud enough for them to hear.

        Reply
    3. 8.3

      Alice

      I like this one – ‘polite’ enough to use on a work acquaintance or other person who doesn’t qualify for Jennifer’s answer above, but firmly brings it back around to ‘it’s a disease, you nitwit’ territory.

      Reply
    4. 8.4

      Phoebe Wing

      I also love this reply. Witty and accurate.

      Reply
    5. 8.5

      Mary

      Or how about the same with “Enjoy your upper endoscopy that will go all the way down to your small intestine to detect Villous Atophy”. Personally I think I like the “Go F* Yourself” comment above. Liberating for someone who is sick and tired of being sick and tired!

      Reply
    6. 8.6

      Stephanie

      LOVE!!

      Reply
    7. 8.7
  9. 9

    Cindy Yin

    I’m allergic to gluten, not junk food. Sugar, popcorn, ice cream, chocolate, hard liquor, and many kinds of chips & dip are gluten-free, so guess what, there is no easy replacement for self-control.

    Reply
  10. 10

    Kurt

    “Take up smoking instead. You’ll look cooler, and a pack of smokes is still cheaper than Udi’s granola.”

    Reply
  11. 11

    Andrea F

    And I wish I was deaf so I wouldn’t have to hear stupid comments like that.

    Reply
  12. 12

    Chris

    I got this a lot when i first got diagnosed, i weighed maybe 100 lbs. I would say “well if you want to feel like your body is killing its stuff from the inside out then please join me, but i get dibs on the bathroom.”

    Reply
  13. 13

    Gluten Dude

    Here’s a few good ones from my Facebook page:

    “Thanks, dying a few times can really thin you out.”

    “After I stop laughing, can I just slap them?”

    “I’d gladly carry around 20 extra lbs for some energy and a loaf of Mrs. Baird’s bread.”

    “Which gf plan are YOU following?! Cuz we chunky on this one.”

    “I would say Are you out of your f***ing mind?”

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gluten-Dude/258777454161458

    Reply
  14. 14

    Claudia

    I look at them like they have lobsters crawling out of their ears. Just like wait staff at restaurants roll their eyes at me when I ask if they have an gluten free menu.

    Reply
  15. 15

    Kathy

    “Yeah… I do, too!”
    Actually, I do have Celiac Disease, but you’d never know it from that – I am heavier due to an autoimmune inflamatory disorder and am on a special diet for that, too…. Let’s see, the autoimmune issues also encompass osteoartiritis, and played havoc with my knee, so I had to have a total joint replacement last summer, but the autoimmune issues also cause my body to really like making scar tissue, so that hasn’t resolved….
    I fugure by now they will have gotten frustrated and walked away. I would have. :)

    Reply
  16. 16

    IrishHeart

    Well, the cool emoticon of someone slapping someone upside the head repeatedly would not upload for me, so here is an alternative response
    that may work :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_CXCgCC5mM

    Reply
    1. 16.1

      Sue In Alberta

      Oh, way too funny!!!! It’s all in the delivery too! Whew, thanks
      for that, Irish. (I’m still laughing and stomping my foot)

      Reply
      1. 16.1.1

        IrishHeart

        well, Sue, it appears you “get me”.. Cheers, IH

        Reply
        1. 16.1.1.1

          Jennifer M

          Hilarious!!!!!

          Reply
  17. 17

    Adalaide

    And I wish I was an asshole so I could say insensitive things to people with chronic illnesses that can be deadly… but we can’t all have our way can we?

    Reply
  18. 18

    Mardee

    Sorry, but my reply is for the original letter writer. There are no funny retorts for this. You need new friends because real friends don’t treat each other that way.

    Reply
    1. 18.1

      IrishHeart

      All joking aside, I was thinking the same thing, Mardee.

      NO ONE I know would say anything so insensitive to me.
      They all watched helplessly as I dwindled down to nothing before my diagnosis.

      yeah, nothing shouts “sexy” like skin and bones, ,bald patches from hair loss, lost muscle mass, cognitive decline, sizzling nerve pain, miscarriages osteopenia, osteoarthritis………. and a pair of size 4 jeans
      .

      Reply
      1. 18.1.1

        candace

        That was so me 4 years ago, and now that I wear size 12 and have color to my face they think I’m all healed. If only it were that simple.

        Reply
  19. 19

    Mama S

    I am grateful no one has said something so insensitive to me about having celiac. I honestly think my head would spin around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist movie.

    My first thought would be to try to educate them by asking “Do you honestly think it’s lucky to wake up every morning being afraid that every single thing I eat or drink might make me sick?”

    And the snarky side of me would reply “No, lucky would be for you to win the lottery so you could buy a new brain and some decent manners you insensitive ignoramus!”

    Sheesh! I feel better.

    Reply
  20. 20

    Job

    L U C K Y –> Left Untreated Celiac Kills You

    Good luck would be when the Celiac just up and disappears without a trace. Bad luck would be having it given to you by a parent at birth. Good luck is making it through an hour or day or week or month without some sort of gluten exposure caused by someone else’s casual attitude. Bad luck is finally knowing what you suffer from, and realizing that your set of family and friends and associates can go on without you fairly easily…and have already done so. At that point, for some, good luck might be the quick onset of death.

    Some jokester: “You’re lucky to have celiac disease!”

    Me: “You’re absolutely right. And, this great fortune has allowed me to reevaluate life, affect rapid upheaval in all aspects of it, and appreciate the comfort of the inevitability of eternal sleep more than ever before.”

    Jokester: “I’m sorry…”

    Me: “For what? Haven’t you ever heard of the dead cat’s bounce?

    Jokester: “I’m sorry, I need to rephrase that…I wish that I had celiac disease, so I could be enlightened like you, and skinny too!”

    Me: “I cannot grant your wish myself, but I do congratulate you on your forward thinking, and hope you fare very well in your quest.”

    Reply
  21. 21

    IrishHeart

    Gosh, I just recalled ! Here is one cool comeback I offered to someone a year ago when he faced cruel and disparaging comments from some jerk he encountered at work::

    “well, the treatment for celiac is a gluten free diet, but sadly, there is no cure for assholery.”

    Reply
    1. 21.1

      Gluten Dude

      Exactly. Similar to “you can’t fix stupid.” ;)

      Reply
      1. 21.1.1

        Jennifer M

        I use that term all the time…”can’t fix stupid” or “stuck on stupid”..great terms especially for people who tell me they need those kind of carbohydrates for energy…that’s the only way to get them they say!!! HUH????

        Reply
    2. 21.2

      Ryan

      My favorite one! Haha.

      Reply
    3. 21.3

      Treena

      Thank you IrishHeart! You’ve totally made my day with your comments!!!

      Reply
  22. 22

    Else

    When people make stupid remarks like this in my presence I tell them the C.Difficile diet is far more effective. I lost 10 pounds in 10 days on it! Of course that’s because I was too sick to eat, I almost died and it triggered the onset of Celiac……but hey, if weight loss is your goal then why not acquire as many diseases and illnesses as you can! Its a small price to pay for skinniness!

    Reply
  23. 23

    Celiac Mindwarp

    I have been trying to think of a witty, yet tasteful reply, but have yet to come up with one.

    Luckily, I have the version which involves very generous curves, so am unlikely to suffer the skinny comments.

    I am brewing a few choice phrases for those who judged my weight gain though….

    (But mostly I am treasuring every single healthy happy day I have :) )

    Reply
  24. 24

    Bethani

    I get asked this all the time. I am a skinny Celiac and those comments are so annoying. I’ve been trying to think of a witty comment to say back but never could. I really enjoyed reading all of these, there are some really good ones!

    Reply
  25. 25

    Lynn Paul

    “Gosh, cancer ALSO works…”

    Reply
  26. 26

    Matt

    This kind of comment is never appreciated. Must be some real airheads this lady is hanging around to say that.

    To play devil’s advocate, there are a few factors to take into account when considering whether coeliac disease can make you thin or not. Firstly, because you have an awareness of diet, you’re inclined not to shove any old convenient crap down your throat when hungry, also, a lot that is quick and easy to snack on when out and about but is also gluten free tends to be healthy, salads, fruit, etc. I’ve noticed as well that it tends to be the more expensive brands of things that don’t pad things out with various cereals. e.g. Green and Blacks chocolate is gluten free, Cadbury’s dairy milk is not. So because it’s more expensive, you find that you don’t buy and consume nearly as much. Also, there aren’t really any down market places that are GF, so because you’re having to go to nicer restaurants you eat better food. You also turn into a good cook, because you mostly have to make meals from scratch.

    Of course all this can be achieved through some thought and awareness of what you’re eating, having coeliac disease will force you to take these steps, but it’s certainly not a boon to anyone’s existance or weight. There are no positives from suffering from it and I’m certain that the women in question considered anything of what I said. I’m also only going off my beautiful girlfriend as an example, who lives a very healthy lifestyle, but she did anyway before she was diagnosed.

    Reply
  27. 27

    Kirsten

    Are you outta your damn mind?!

    Reply
  28. 28

    Kirsten

    “For people with celiac disease, a gluten-free diet is essential. But for others, “unless people are very careful, a gluten-free diet can lack vitamins, minerals, and fiber,” says Dr. Peter Green.”

    Reply
    1. 28.1

      Jennifer M

      He’s joking right…that has to be the most insane thing I’ve ever heard….

      Reply
  29. 29

    Sabrina

    Love, love all the comments! Lol. It’s sad that people say these things to me, but now I have a few responses to use instead of just staring at them with my mouth open in disbelief! Haha. Thanks again, you all are awesome :)

    Reply
  30. 30

    Katherine

    To be honest, sometimes I myself feel I am “lucky” that some of the many things I shouldn’t be eating make me sick. Other people who are made less sick by them continue to eat them and never ask the question of whether they are causing themselves long-term irreversible damage by eating those things.

    Reply
  31. 31

    Jamie

    “Awe sweetie you’re not THAT fat!” that should shut them up. My son is the one that suffers and people comment on how cute it is that he’s so tiny (at 2 he could wear 6mo shorts and 12 mo Ts) I would like to say “you too could have and Ethiopian baby minus the flies, ALMOST suitable for the next Jolie/Pitt adoption!” Ignorant answer for the ignorant.

    Reply
  32. 32

    Kara S

    I had an overweight coworker actually tell me the other day that she would rather be overweight and be able to eat so many foods than be skinny like me and have to deal with what I’m going through. I REALLY REALLY appreciated it – felt so understood!

    Reply
  33. 33

    Becky

    I think I would tell them that “Wait! Celiacs are skinny? I’ve been doing this all wrong!”

    Or perhaps that I’m “lucky” much like my friend with Tourette’s is “lucky because he can say whatever he wants whenever he wants”.

    God. Stupid people suck.

    Reply
  34. 34

    Kerry

    Yes, being scared to eat is great!

    Reply
  35. 35

    Cheryl

    A morbidly obese person just the other day put me down for being “blessed with such a great figure”. RIGHT! I have to have enough self control to NOT eat foods that I love AND a person without sufficient self control to stop KILLING themselves with food is putting me down for my self control to control my disease.

    Reply

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