Dear Gluten Dude: My Celiac Wife Treats Me Like the Enemy

gluten-paranoia

So a few days ago, we talked about Gluten-Free Love Stories and since then I’ve received some fantastic, heartwarming stories of how celiac/gluten has brought people together.

I can’t wait to post them next month.

But today, we have something quite the opposite. It seems celiac disease is breaking this marriage up.

Yes, I’m sure there are many underlying issues as well so I am not pinning this on celiac disease, but it’s not helping matters.

Read on and share your thoughts.

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Dear Gluten Dude,

I KNOW guys are dumb but am I really the idiot my pregnant wife w/ celiac disease makes me out to be??

I bought her groceries at the hour-trip-across-town grocer. On the way, I bought her some lip gloss (gf of course…she even had me watching YouTube about it.) I bought the 30 dollar stuff thinking I’m gonna be a hero and instead I turned out to be the fool.

Apparently in Sephora (the store where I bought the lip gloss), gluten is in the air by way of perfume. My clothes are then glutened and I go to the grocery store after this. I buy 50 dollars worth of salsa, whole pineapple and cherries.

I have tried to surprise her before with other things. Not food. It seems there is always some way to call me an idiot. I cook her food and spend hours via bus and train getting her food. I admit I get frustrated but why do I have to be yelled at even for wearing my jacket in the kitchen? She sends me to stores just to make me return it all even if I even wash my hands thoroughly and double tie the bags.

I read your spousal support article but at what point is it not my fault? I can’t erase gluten from history (can I?).

I just want to know what should I do? She is driving me crazy. I know she did not ask for CD. But she yells at me for eating gluten…period. She changes the rules everyday. I can’t afford to buy gluten free food for 2 people on what I make. I cook her food with a clean kitchen and wash my hands with dawn to the point of peeling.

Do you have any advice for me? I fear we will be heading for divorce.

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A few quick thoughts here. As I said above, it seems to me your marriage issues go beyond celiac disease but I am not wearing my marriage counselor hat today, so I’ll leave that to the experts.

To you I would say try to be patient. Celiac can affect somebody not only physically, but emotionally too. Add that to being pregnant and there could be a lot going on with her right now.

I would say to your wife that she needs to ease up on the gluten paranoia a bit. Yes…we need to be incredibly careful. But worrying about perfume on your clothes and then going grocery shopping seems a bit extreme to me. Celiacs don’t live in a plastic bubble. Being paranoid stops us from enjoying life.

And there is no reason for you to take any heat for eating gluten. You don’t have celiac disease…she does.

I encourage both of you to visit my site in February when I post the gluten free love stories. Maybe it will help you see the light a bit.

Good luck to the both of you.

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44 thoughts on “Dear Gluten Dude: My Celiac Wife Treats Me Like the Enemy”

  1. I am not too sure on the celiac front, but I can tell you I was a monster when I was pregnant. I had my husband out shopping all times of the day and night. My best trick was to go crazy for something one day, he would buy loads in to avoid the late night dashes, then I would hate whatever it was the next week.

    Hormones do weird things. I know lots of pregnant ladies who get paranoid about what to eat or not eat. There is a massive urge to protect the baby, and when there is so much contradictory information,let alone adding in celiac, for me personally,fried my brain and was obsessed with what to eat and general safety. She may also be extremely concerned if her celiac will affect the baby.

    I don’t know what else is going on for the both of you, but pregnancy is unlikely to be representative of how anyone will be long term.

    I can still see my poor husband’s face, how he didn’t ever snap at me I will never know.

    Pregnancy is hard for BOTH partners. Try and keep the lines of communication open. Be kind to yourselves and each other.

    (My husband would probably just tell you that whatever you do will be wrong for now, and that it gets better again 🙂 )

    1. I agree! I think it’s more the pregnancy than you. Hang in there. But, really watch afterward for post partum. Don’t ignore it if you think she might be depressed. She could also really be struggling with the disease.

      1. I TOTALLY agree with Janelle! I won’t go into the gory details, but definitely watch for postpartum depression!!!!! It sounds like that is the path that she may be taking!!!!!

    2. I was the same way. I once decided I could not live without pumpkin ice cream THAT MINUTE! Well our car was out of service, the ice cream wouldn’t have made it home and the ice cream shop was 5 miles away. I convinced my husband it was a good idea to walk there. Two weeks before my due date. Fortunately all we ended up with was some really awesome ice cream and a little false labor, but seriously… what kind of completely psychotically hormonal woman does things like that? Oh right, pregnant ones.

      You need to think back to what she was like prior to being pregnant. Was she like she is now? If she was, there is a very serious problem with how she treats you and her celiac. If not, she is just a crazy pregnant lady who is paranoid that being within a 10 mile radius of gluten is going to somehow make the baby have 2 heads and 5 tentacles and be green. (Or something like that.) While in her case it happens to be celiac related, this is a normal part of pregnancy that most husbands simply have to find a way to cope with.

      I second the opinion that you may need to simply accept that you will be wrong for the next few months. Keep telling yourself that you will be eligible for sainthood by the time your baby comes and that this is all good practice for the patience that a toddler requires.

  2. I’m afraid what it going on is that this woman is overwhelmed and taking it out on the closest person to her. Unfortunately, her husband is her biggest support. If she don’t stop losing it she will most likely lose the best thing in her life.

    She doesn’t need him to do everything for her, but her can become her everything if he can reach that point where she let’s go of the flood and cries some of her pain out onto his shoulders. Then, they both take a deep breath and take it one day at a time.

    I support the request that this husband continue to try to be patient. She needs you know more than ever, but that support will be found in the way you listen, the way you tell her verbal how beautiful you think she is and how much you love her, and in the way you are there to hold her when another part of normal life and normal eating is cut off from her ability to live a normal life.

  3. Poor Momma Bear. She is terrified that her unborn child is going to get sick from “unknown” things! Her hormones are raging and the one person that she CAN rage at is hubby!!!!! If you two make it through this…you will make it through anything!!!!! Hubby needs to be very, very patient with her!!!!!! She will come around eventually! We always do!!!! I know (from personal experience) that if you deal with her with love and patience (whether she is right or wrong) you will be building a better and stronger marriage!!!!! GLUTEN FREE HUGS (so as not to cross contaminate…just sayin’) and positive thoughts coming your way!!!!

  4. I wasn’t diagnosed with celiac until after my kids were born but I can only imagine the beast I would have been if I was dealing with maintaining a GF lifestyle while pregnant. I agree it’s probably the hormones speaking but that doesn’t make it any easier for this guy, does it.

    Something that helped me recently was to get a blood test for my celiac numbers and to see that they are as low as those in a non-celiac person. Which means I am doing just fine maintaining a safe diet in a non-GF kitchen (yes, way too expensive for all 4 of us to go GF). Maybe if his wife can do the same she will feel a little better? And if her numbers aren’t low, she can work with a specialist to try to figure out where the cross-contamination is happening?

    Best wishes for this couple. Marriage can be messy, pregnancy can be a nightmare and I fear it only gets harder in that newborn haze. But it’s all worth it in the end.

  5. Wendy - PalmTreesGlutenFree

    Hormones can be a bear and pregnancy is a lot to worry about on it’s own. I think a good support group would be a great help.

    I get stressed and a bit bitchy at times about cross contamination in my home, but want my kids to have as normal a life as possible so I just clean after them often. I’m not worried about air borne unless they are baking with flour. And we don’t do that anymore.

  6. I discovered I have feelings disease shortly after my mom died, so for me the two are emotionally connected. I can tell you that I was angry about my mother dying and angry about food and my poor husband took the brunt of the anger. In retrospect I see how I knew that I wasn’t really mad at him, and I knew that he had not done anything wrong, but I needed to be angry… and he was a safe person to be angry at because I knew that no matter how ridiculous I was he would still love me. This might be what’s going on with your wife? Try to patient my good man, it won’t last forever!

  7. I agree with everyone that this woman’s biggest issue is the pregnancy. Not sure which stage she is at, but things ‘should’ get better as the pregnancy progresses. I have never heard of perfume being an issue with gluten, but possibly the alcohol used in it is a grain derivitive and she is afraid of that? It is my understanding that distilling gets rid of gluten so there shouldn’t be any in perfume unless another component has it. Crap…another thing to investigate. But I would guess that if she reacts to perfume, it is because of a chemical reaction/allergy or Candida. Or pregnancy hormones make her more sensitive to smells.
    One of the things I’m reading throughout the responses is that eating gluten-free is so expensive. Yes and No. I cook exclusively gluten-free for my whole family. We eat the same non-processed meats, vegetables, and fruits as before. The ‘goodies’ are homemade. I’ve been Celiac for almost 20 years (long before the store shelves where stocked with convenience gf foods) and I had to learn to cook gf from scratch. The only thing I haven’t mastered [yet] is yeast bread, but we learned to enjoy sandwiches wrapped in a gf pancake. I easily converted all my old recipes to gf without the use of xantham gum (my pet peeve). Sure a package of gf pasta is a lot more expensive than wheat pasta, BUT I found that we are filled up quicker and therefore eat less of it. If you avoid pre-made convenience foods, gluten-free eating can be relatively affordable.

    1. Well said on handling eating GF and pricing things out. I’m in a ‘mixed’ family as well, and I’ve felt safe knowing we are all eating the same basics: lots of fresh seasons fruits and veg, lots of GF certified legumes we cook from the dry state ourselves, GF whole grain items we make ourselves without gums (chickpea, teff, millet, quinoa, etc.)… I can’t have dairy because I’m also lactose/casein intolerant, but the rest of the family does that. The food is fresher, nutritious, and really doesn’t add up to more on the grocery bill then it was before I found out I need to eat GF.

      I agree with what the others said about thinking back – how was she before the rx of celiac, and how has that changed with the pregnancy. It’s possible that the pregnancy has brought out fears of the child and her own stress that she is channeling into the GF vein (imagined or real or maybe unlikely). Substantively, perfume and G in the air seems extreme to me. And her behavior, no, you are not dumb! Have you sat down and talked, not in an accusing way, but more along the lines of ‘I want to know what’s going on with you, I care about you and want to understand where your concerns are coming from’. Really, though, the compare between before and now might shed some light on what factors into her behavior.

  8. Hmmm…. I’m pretty disgusted by this woman’s behavior. I will barely make the concession that pregnancy can make you behave oddly but frankly she just sounds mean. Now if she was different before pregnancy, maybe this will pass. However, by allowing the behavior, he is enabling the behavior. Pregnancy is not a disability. If she doesn’t like what he buys or cooks ( why on earth is he doing all the work?) then she needs to get up off her butt and do it herself. He’s trying for Pete’s sake! Give the guy a break!

    1. I agree with Dana. I have never been pregnant, so I can’t speak to that part of it, but this man’s life sounds like hell…because of someone who is supposed to love him. I’m really sorry he’s going through that. I wouldn’t be able to hack it, personally.

  9. That is crazy. Having Celiac Disease is not THAT hard. It sucks, yes, but it’s not the husband’s fault! And being pregnant sucks too but that does not mean you have to act like a bitchy monster. She needs to get over herself and appreciate the fact that she has a husband willing to go to such great lengths to make her happy. If she keeps this up her husband is going to stop trying, and then her life is REALLY going to suck. Seriously. Selfish, ungrateful wives drive me crazy. On another note, her husband sounds amazing. Poor guy. I hope she wakes up and starts treating him the way he deserves one of these days. Pregnant or not. No excuse for that kind of attitute and behavior.

    1. No, she shouldn’t be a bitchy monster. I did point out that he should examine what she was like before being pregnant. Seriously, if she was like this before they (or she) needs therapy before they end up divorced because she is just a crazy bitch. On the other hand, some women handle the hormonal changes really well and are amazing glowing examples of everything that is magical about pregnancy. Others… well not so much. The ever changing hormones are a complete shock and they just aren’t equipped to know how to deal with it and things just fly out of their mouths before they know what is happening. They are so confused by everything going on with their emotions and bodies that they don’t begin to understand it. One minute they are fine, the next they are so mad they could spit nails because the butter was in front of the milk in the refrigerator. Two minutes later they are crying on the floor because they dropped the potatoes on the floor. (I was one of these.) It is so hard to suffer through, and I found myself spending a lot of time being sorry for running off at the mouth. It is so hard having literally no control over your emotions, especially when you are usually a control freak and it sounds like she may be. Give the poor woman a break.

      No, pregnancy isn’t a disability. But it is different for everyone. Just because you may have experience little hormonal issues and emotional problems and it was magical for you, don’t judge others for not having a wonderful magical experience like yours. It can be rough and a true test of a marriage for some couples. Sometimes rougher than the sleepless, sexless nights with an infant and the days filled with patience tested to the breaking point over and over with toddlers.

  10. Another thing about pregnant women…unless they are on bedrest, they ARE capable of shopping for themselves! If you’re going to be THAT paranoid, then my gosh, shop for yourself!

  11. Gluten Dude, I feel very sorry for the husband. I do hope he works it out. Pregnancy is a real eye opener. I am so glad I found out after my ovaries had their going out of business sale. I hope he realizes that pregnant women are more mysterious than non-pregnant women. I hope he doesn’t give up. Poor guy.

  12. I am with Adalaide on this.

    It may be politically correct to say hormones don’t affect us but that is not how it felt in the middle of it. Of course if she is like it all the time when not pregnant, it is a problem.

    The rest of the time I am a perfect wife 🙂

    I think the experience of pregnancy is a bit like celiac – your pregnancy is not my pregnancy.

    As I said, they need to keep talking. It will be a whole different difficult once the baby comes along. I agree with those who say if you make it through the marriage will be stronger

    Best wishes to both of you, it is soooo worth it

  13. “To you I would say try to be patient. Celiac can affect somebody not only physically, but emotionally too. Add that to being pregnant and there could be a lot going on with her right now.”

    @GlutenDude – This. She is pregnant and that can wreak havoc on hormones. I’m gluten sensitive, not Celiac and I am lucky that cross contamination doesn’t impact me as much as it does so many out there.

    That said… The perfume in the air? I think that sounds like a bit like paranoia and no one I’ve consulted with has mentioned that. What I will mention here, though, is that Celiac can result in vitamin deficiencies, such as a B-12 deficiency. A B-12 deficiency that is serious enough can result in pernicious anemia, which causes dizziness, clumsiness a bit like vertigo, loss of balance and mood swings akin to Bipolar Disorder. It’s worth looking to an endocrinologist or at least discussing the possibility of B-12 being an issue.

    If she’s not picking him apart for a resentment issue for ages ago and she’s normally a kind-hearted, easy going person, then the culprit very well may be hormones and a B-12 deficiency. I always tell my clients not to stop at Celiac. Talk to doctors about corn, oats, lactose intolerance, B-12 levels and other issues that could result from Celiac not being caught early enough.

    Hope this helps!

    Thanks, Gluten Dude! Love your stuff and Mrs. Gluten Dude sounds like a rock star! 😀

  14. If your wife was like this BEFORE pregnancy, well, there’s no blaming hormones for this baloney she’s pulling right now.
    Only you can say if this is the case.

    And if she does not have any other health issues that may possibly be making her this erratic (and I do not know of any vitamin deficiency –even a folate deficiency which occurs most often in pregnancy —that would make someone just plain mean), then she is just being over the top ridiculous.

    She has one of the worst cases of raging gluten paranoia I have ever heard of and she needs a reality check. Frankly, I’d like to give her a (metaphorical) good swift kick in the butt.

    Perfume in the air cannot gluten anyone. And what does your coat have to do with anything? Does that have a “gluten aroma” on it?
    Puleeze!

    You are NOT an idiot, hon— and if she calls you that you again, you should tell her to knock it off.

    Sorry, but at my worst raging hormonal ebbs and flows– when pregnant, after miscarriages, on mega-hormones for fertility treatments and when menopausal— I have never,ever behaved like this or treated anyone like she is treating you. I was miserable with all that nonsense, so it’s not like I am saying I was not suffering either.

    My hubs stuck by me when things could not have been worse because of celiac, and to this day, he willingly grocery shops for us —and I worship the ground he walks on as a result. (I hate shopping)

    You sound like one of the most wonderfully supportive spouses of a celiac I have ever met. Many of them bail instead of sticking around for their sick spouse’s recovery or because they cannot stand the “intrusion” on their lives to have a spouse who needs to be GF.

    She needs to read about REAL gluten cross contamination concerns, not mythical, unlikely ones, and learn to relax before she becomes hypertensive. This is the last thing a pregnant woman needs.

    P.S. Frankly,I think you’re a goddamn saint!!!. Bless you for your endless patience.

    1. Listen to this woman! She is a goddamn saint as well.

      I didn’t mention the things I did to excuse the behavior, but to say that maybe there is a reason. Seriously, she should still be realizing afterward that what she said was uncalled for and apologize, even if her hormones get the better of her and she runs off at the mouth. If I sounded like I was excusing her behavior, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to and only meant to say that maybe there is an underlying cause that doesn’t mean she is a monster but is just human.

      1. I am no saint, believe me 🙂 🙂

        and just to be clear to all readers—I did not suggest she was a monster, either— but I do think she is behaving like a demanding child.

        The writer does not say if she is bed-ridden or not, but honestly,
        being pregnant, being a celiac, being disabled ….or whatever…does not give anyone the right to verbally abuse someone who is knocking himself out to treat her like a queen.
        It may be time for hubby to set some boundaries? Just sayin…

        And as always, just my humble opinion. 😉

        1. I so agree with you Irish Heart. My guy listens to me about the places to go to eat. He does not eat bread when he kisses me. So I count my lucky stars, and say “I love you”.

          1. Mine went GF with me (I did not ask) even giving up his beloved Guinness, so yeah, I think he’s the saint in this house. 🙂

        2. Nah, didn’t think you were saying she was. But can’t grocery shop herself? Not that I wish anything bad on her but the only excuse for that is being housebound or seriously disabled. If he can’t do it right then she should do it her damn self. Or they should do it together so she could at least teach him how she likes it done.

          A celiac diagnosis is a learning curve for both people in a relationship. I think it could be really helpful if we knew if she went off the deep end before or after she got pregnant. Not to excuse the behavior but to know the best advice to give. I kind of stuck in the safety net of he sort of makes it sound like this is unusual and maybe new but we just really aren’t sure.

        3. Verbal abuse sounds exactly like what she’s doing! Nothing excuses that! Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he should take it either! Love your post!

  15. I’m going to go at this from a different angle than others have:

    Celiac & associated issues have meant i get no “natural” children EVER. If crazy bitch was my only choice of pregnancy, I’m not completely sure I would sign up. Especially because after the while fertility drug road I would also get bed rest for 9 months
    So I am going to go with the answer of yes she’s being a lunatic BUT you get a kid out of the deal, you can eat naturally GF foods like salad, pork chops, veggies & potato without dying or creating drama for crazy momma to rage on, & the whole “pregnancy hormones” others listed.

    -Have some gratitude you’re getting a kid, many celiacs can’t
    -Have some understanding that she’s no longer in control of her body
    -Call a functional medicine doc that has celiac to play ground control, -blood tests can check vitamin issues that may be making her “extra whacko”
    -Find a marriage counclor that deals with fertility issues, they have seen this before & can also be “ground control”

    Just accept “you did this to her” so whipping boy is part of the deal somewhere in the journey. Let the professionals run the razors edge of why & try to help. “Yes dear I’m sorry” isn’t an admission of guilt, its part of your burdon to carry in this journey.

    FYI autism, aspergers, downs syndrome all have links to celiac per recent studies. How guilty would you feel if she’s being “whacko” to protect the baby from known links to her genetic disease & this child has one of these problems?

    1. “FYI autism, aspergers, downs syndrome all have links to celiac per recent studies. How guilty would you feel if she’s being “whacko” to protect the baby from known links to her genetic disease & this child has one of these problems?”

      Ouch!! this seems really unfair to put this on him, IMHO. 🙁

      If the baby does have any of these issues when s/he is born, it is not for him to feel guilty about nor is it relevant as to why she is behaving so irrationally. That’s quite a stretch.

      Down syndrome is the only condition with a definite link to celiac.The percentage is very small. This means children with Down syndrome could also develop celiac. It does not mean a woman with celiac will necessarily give birth to a baby with Down syndrome there is no increased risk for Moms with celiac.

      Studies have not determined a direct link between celiac disease and autism or asperger’s, even though following the GF diet has been reported as helpful. I have yet to find any medical articles that discuss this link with these conditions.

  16. I was GF/CF, egg-free, corn-free all during my pregnancy and nursing. Didn’t find out I was celiac until 14 years later, I did it on recommendation from a friend who was a nurse. But, I digress. My son has autism. Does he have celiac? Nope. He got lucky. He is lactose-intollerant, but so is his dad. It’s a complete genetic crap shoot. And, for the record, he’s also the best kid ever.
    Anyway, my point being that you just never know. Yes, pregnant women get hormonal. PMSing women get hormonal. Poor guys get the brunt of it usually. I do agree here that there might be something else going on that should likely be checked out.
    I hope he can figure it all out with her before the child is born. I’m sorry he’s getting grief for not going GF. It hasn’t happened in our house. My hubby thinks it’s “yucly food”, which actually makes me laugh. But, he also hates brown rice, vegetables, and just about anything else that’s healthy. So, we’ve been eating differently for over 23 years. GF is no biggie. Plus, he will go out of his way to find save GF stuff for me – be it groceries stores, restaurants, or a GF coffee cake to celebrate our anniversary. That’s romantic.
    I wish him luck. I wish her luck.

  17. My condolences – this sounds incredibly rough!

    I agree with the folks who’ve said that it’s important to note whether she was like this pre-pregnancy; if she was, then my main recommendation is marriage counseling, since working through this stuff during pregnancy, and then with an infant, will be super-challenging. (Since you mentioned $$, there are folks who offer sliding-scale fees, and who will work with you on how to do a lot of the work on your own – it’s tough, but it’s possible to do counseling on a budget.)

    Even if this is ‘just’ pregnancy-induced fighting, it still sucks, and isn’t fair to you. In addition to making sure that you’ve got folks who can support you in all of this, and making sure that you’re getting some time to take care of yourself, talking with her to set up basic ground rules sounds like it might help.

    Maybe talking with her obgyn (if they have a good knowledge of Celiac) or her regular doc might help in setting up ‘safe’ procedures, so that there’s a 3rd party to help defuse things, and keep the conversation focused on ‘what can we do together’ rather than ‘here’s what you do wrong.’ And I also agree with the folks who talk about her being more active in the cooking/shopping part of things, unless she’s on bedrest or otherwise limited. It’s great that you’re so considerate in taking care of her, but in the end, her health is her responsibility, not yours.

  18. I really think that your wife needs to speak to a registered dietician who can debunk some of these myths she is clinging to about ‘gluten in the air’… this kind of thinking can lead to paranoia and agoraphobia if it’s not taken care of, which will end up hurting you guys even more.

  19. I would just like to say that first of all, the lip gloss would be sealed and I don’t see how there could be any cross-contamination. Maybe trying to discuss this with her might get somewhere. Maybe she didn’t think about that part of it.

    As far as gluten in the air being dangerous, that is very real. This is why my pets are also gf. I once got extremely sick because I fed my pets. I didn’t understand how it happened because I washed my hands of course. I was concerned about breathing in the wheat from their food so I actually held my breath while I was feeding them, but I guess it didn’t help. I then googled about this and discovered some Celiac sites stating that breathing in gluten can be even more harmful then ingesting it. I don’t go into bakeries or anything like that because I’m afraid of it. Maybe that’s what’s going on here. Maybe there’s been a lot of bad experiences that were thru cross-contamination.

    I think that the husband in this case sounds like a great guy who is trying very hard to keep his wife safe, but she does have some reasonable concerns and some others I think is probably her acting out because she feels very alone, possibly. Celiac disease is a very isolating disease and she may be struggling with this, the pregnancy etc, etc.

  20. OK, Gluten Dude,
    Maybe YOU are dumb, but guys are NOT dumb. Let’s stop with that misandry once and for all.
    Secondly, why can’t your wife cook? I mean, seriously? Pregnancy does not render anyone disabled. Pregnant women work in offices and at every other job that I know of. Why in all of God’s heaven can’t she get into the kitchen and cook, not only for her, but for the entire family? Since she is the one with the CD, she has limitations on what food stuff can be brought home. So, why can’t she shop for groceries too? You can always assist her in all of these chores, but allowing her to use CD and pregnancy to treat you like an idiot is totally your fault.
    You need to man up, and assert yourself. If you think you’re showing love, well, you’re not; all you’re showing is a wimpy, spineless guy who doesn’t have self respect. Seriously.
    So, unless your wife is having contractions or vomiting uncontrollably due to her pregnancy, she should be the one shopping for groceries and cooking the meals. You can carry the heavy bags, drive the car and help with the dishes as a good husband. But acting like a fool will qualify you as a…fool.

      1. My apologies, Gluten Dude!
        I didn’t mean to shoot the messenger. But I hope the right dude gets the message though. He needs to stand up and be counted.
        Real guys don’t simply whine about their predicaments; they take care of business.

  21. Wow…you’re wife sounds mean. You really shouldn’t put up with that. If she loves you as much as you apparently love her, you need to have a serious talk with her. She is abusing you right now and that’s not ok.

  22. RUN! Don’t pass go, don’t go to jail, don’t stand around wondering what you are doing wrong or what’s wrong with her, just RUN! If you happen to have a magic carpet laying around, USE IT. If you happen to have an extra one, give it to me… I NEED one too. Forget about the kid, you can sort that out later, just get out of there… “Oh it’s the pregnancy, oh it’s my CD, oh it’s gluten, oh it’s my period…” Just RUN. The quicker the better…

  23. I know this is many years after this post was blogged, but I have my own experience to add to this. When I was pregnant, I was hyper-sensitive to smells. They would make me sick – nauseous or give me headaches. Unfortunately, poor hubby, walking through Sephora, or the grocery store could possibly trigger the same reaction in your pregnant wife.

    Anyway, I hope it all worked out and that mamma, daddy and baby are all doing better.

  24. I wish my husband put the effort in and did what you do! My husband has a complete tantrum when I ask him to wash his hands after he’s touched a contaminated item.

    I get some store contamination. I have been contaminated grocery shopping and at hair salons many of times but I think with you constantly washing your hands and double bagging groceries it should be more than fine.

    As for perfume, I haven’t had contamination unless someone has sprayed it right in front of my face like at a department store.

    I’ve shopping inside Sephora many of times with no air contamination. I just make sure to wipe down my items if they’re not in a sealedbox once I get home and then wash my hands.

    I think the only reason you’d need to change your clothes/jacket would be if you worked in a hair salon or where you are in direct contact with gluten such as a pizza restaurant or bakery.

    I’m guessing she isn’t feeling safe or in control and pregnancy is exacerbating the fear.

    1. Also, a coworker of mine had such a sensitive nose in her pregnancy that she had to work from home for most of it.

      As soon as she left the house the smell of car exhaust from her street and traffic would cause her to violently throw up until she wasn’t around any fumes.

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Who I am. And who I'm not.

Who I am. And who I'm not.

I AM someone who's been gluten-free since 2007 due to a diagnosis of severe celiac disease. I'm someone who can steer you in the right direction when it comes to going gluten-free. And I'm someone who will always give you the naked truth about going gluten free.

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