In case you haven’t noticed, I like to mix up the positive energy of dealing with celiac with the realities of our lovely disease. Well…I just looked in my inbox and I’ve got about 20 celiac rants waiting to be posted. So with no further ado…let’s rant!
This one comes from a frustrated celiac who writes a letter to her favorite frenemy…celiac disease. I love this idea. If you want to send me a Dear Celiac letter, I can start a new feature on my site.
Anyway…here we go.
First off, I would like to say how glad I am to have found your excellent website. Thank you for telling it like it is, and for not giving us a sugar-coated version of this crappy disease. What I really appreciate is the fact that you brought attention to the great myth of “go on a gluten free diet and you will feel better.” Utter shite (sorry about the language, but needs must).
You said we could rant in this space, and even if nobody reads this, at least I will have spent a productive 30 minutes (instead of pacing the kitchen trying to stop myself from chucking another failed bread out of the window and at the nearest person). So here is my letter to Celiac disease…
Dear Celiac Disease,
I have been the unfortunate bearer of you for 12 years. One might assume that I feel as fit as a fiddle, having had so much time to “get used to you,” but alas I find things as difficult as ever. For some reason that modern medicine cannot decipher, I continue to feel pretty shit most of the time. Yes of course, I am much better than pre-diagnosis, I can actually get off the sofa from time to time, but you have left me with a broken, dysfunctional body.
Before you say, “you must be eating gluten!” I protest. There literally cannot be any gluten getting through my battle armour defences, I am like the gluten police. I don’t eat out at restaurants, I don’t go to friends houses without concocting major pre-eating and food preparation plans. Whenever I walk past the local bakery, I hold my breath until I am well clear of the danger.
But then, of course the doubt that you breed begins to worm its nasty little way in. I recently moved to Turkey with my new husband, and it is truly a wonderful place, but the awareness of gluten is practically nill. So I have become this island of fear and doubt. I buy all my flour from the UK (the motherland) because I just don’t trust anything here. I have to call all the food companies to check that there is no cross-contamination in simple things like rice. The other day my husband brought home some butter he bought in a deli, and I was like “shit there could be gluten on that butter…” And so on.
So my point is, I am very tired. I am tired of not being able to put any weight on because of you, rotten disease that you are. I am tired of people thinking I am anorexic and asking why I never eat anything. I am tired of being scared of every piece of food on my plate. I am tired of going to the doctor and getting told that I must be eating gluten when I know that it cannot be possible. I am tired of all the crap you put me through.
I am tired of this being my past, present and future.
So I say, Dear Celiac Disease. give me a bloody break.
Thanks Mr Dude
My pleasure. I hope getting it out helped. Sometimes…all we need is a release. And just a quick few words of advice. Don’t let celiac turn you into a hermit crab. Find restaurants that can keep you safe. Enjoy your friends. That’s how you beat celiac. Hang tough. And as Mrs. Dude subtly reminded me this morning…breathe!
Need to Vent?
I hate celiac. You hate celiac. We all hate celiac. With all that pent up anger, people need a place to vent.
Well…I invite you to lie on the Dude’s couch (figuratively speaking) and spew away. There’s just one rule: Once you’re done venting, you need to move forward and put the negative vibes on the back burner.
Positive energy brings positive results.
Don’t you feel better already??